AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I gasp for air, struggling to catch my breath as grief claims me, darkening my soul and forcing painful sobs from deep in my chest. The realization that I’ll never see her smiling face again tears me to shreds, but that precious baby. Did she even get to meet her mommy? Did Sara ever get the chance to hold her?
Fuck.
Sean. Poor Sean. The pain he must be feeling right now.
My head drops into my hands as Carter wraps his strong arms around me, and as agony filters through my body, I can’t help but crawl up into his lap, straddling him as I bury my face into the curve of his neck with a desperate need for the safety and comfort only he can offer.
Carter leans back into my couch as we hold onto one another, and we sit for what could be minutes or hours, but when I finally come up for air, my eyes hurt and my body feels weak. “What’s going to happen with the baby?” I ask, pulling back out of his hold and wiping my sore eyes on the back of my hands, knowing Sean wouldn’t be in any state to look after a newborn so soon after his wife passed.
“Cassie is going to watch her for now, and I guess Sara’s parents will help out too, but I’m sure they’ll be busy with funeral arrangements. I can’t picture Sean being up for that,” he explains.
I nod, the tears still running down my cheeks. “Let them know that I’m here if it gets too hard, or if they just need a break. I can help.”
“They know,” he tells me, his hand dropping to my thigh and giving it a comforting squeeze.
Needing to put a little space between us, I clamber off his lap and sink into my couch, grabbing my throw blanket and pulling it right up to my chin. Carter and I sit in a numb silence, both of us lost in our thoughts, his hand not leaving my thigh for even a second.
He must sit with me for well over an hour before he sits forward on the couch, dragging a hand over his face. “I should probably get back to Sean,” he says. “Are you going to be okay if I get going?”
“Yeah,” I murmur, getting up, the heaviness in my heart making me feel as though I will never smile again. “I should probably check in on Cass. She’ll need a friend right now.”
“She’s still at the hospital,” he tells me. “Did you want me to give you a lift?”
“No,” I say with a slight shake of my head, reality starting to creep back in. “That’s probably not a good idea. This is . . . it’s already too much.”
Carter nods in agreement, and I feel an awkward goodbye coming along, and after just losing Sara, the thought of letting him walk out the door has new tears welling in my eyes. He rubs the back of his neck as he looks down. “I, umm . . . I didn’t want you finding out through someone else,” he says, slowly lifting his dark gaze back to mine. “And I just . . . I guess I just really needed to see you.”
I nod but don’t respond. I mean, what can I say? Thanks for showing up at my door at 6:30 in the morning and telling me that one of my best friends is dead—a woman I thought would be family one day.
Shit.
Not knowing what else to say, Carter gives me a forced smile before finally turning his back and walking around my couch, making his way to my door. He clutches the handle, and as he slowly pulls it open, he looks back at me, longing flashing in his eyes, and I realize just how much he needs me right now. His grief, on top of missing me, is eating him alive, and just as he is for me, I’m one of his only comforts. But he pushed me away, he let me go, and unfortunately, that means he doesn’t get to come back and take what he needs from me when times get hard. That’s not how a breakup is supposed to work.
His gaze falls away, and just as quickly as he barged in here, he disappears. As the soft thud of the door sounds through my small apartment, the tears return, and I break down all over again.
Chapter 13
BRIANNA
I walk into the hospital and head straight for the maternity ward, following a family who’s carrying a bundle of pink balloons that say It’s a girl across the front. Shit, maybe I should have stopped to pick up something to say congratulations, but what do you get a newborn baby who just lost her mother?
I’ve never been in here and have no idea where I’m going, and I wander around for a few minutes before finally coming to the nursery, peering in to find the room filled with tiny little blue and pink bundles, each one of them so content in their bassinet.
