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I watch Sean as the stories are told, and I feel like today has given him just a little bit of closure. And while nothing is going to take away his pain, he was able to say goodbye on his own terms, and eventually, he will start to heal, but it’s going to be one hell of a long journey. Having his daughter in his lap definitely helps, but hearing the sweet words of his loved ones talking about his wife and how much they adored her puts a smile on his face, and I couldn’t have asked for anything more.
“She truly was a beautiful woman,” I tell him as he catches me watching the smile on his face. “You know she will forever be looking down on you and that beautiful girl.”
He raises his drink to me, and together we toast to Sara and the wonderful life she led.
Chapter 15
CARTER
Today goes right up there as one of the hardest days of my life, right beside burying my parents and leaving Bri.
Most people have gone, leaving just my family and Bri behind, and I sit quietly, the heaviness still resting on my heart as I nurse a bottle of Jack. I’m glad today is coming to an end so I can try and put the pain behind me. I just want to live in a world of denial, one where I can pretend this never happened and Sara is right here with us—that this was all a sick fucking joke and soon enough, she’s going to come waltzing through the door with a stupid grin and say Gotcha.
My gaze remains locked on Bri, just as it has for most of the day. She doesn’t know it, but she’s the only reason I’ve been able to make it through the day. She’s been a gift to my family during this time. She’s been there for Cass, held her hand during the hardest part of the day, sat with Sean during the ceremony, and even got him to accept his daughter and find comfort within her—something I was truly starting to become concerned about.
And by some miracle, she even allowed me to hold her hand when I thought I couldn’t go on any longer, but when I had to let go, it almost tore me to shreds.
The baby falls asleep in Sean’s arms, and I find it impossible to tear my gaze away from her. I have completely fallen in love with this child, but by no means does that mean I’ve changed my mind about wanting to have one of my own. This baby is family and was created out of the love that Sean and Sara shared. She’s a huge part of Sara that’s been left behind, and because of that, I will protect and treasure this child for the rest of my life.
Sean looks up from his little bundle of joy and glances around the room. “Sara wanted to call her Georgia, but I think I’ll add Sara’s name in too. Georgia Sara Waters,” he tells us.
“I love it,” Cassie smiles as she holds up her drink. “To little baby Georgia.”
We all greedily take another drink, which most of us follow up with another, and it’s no surprise that within the space of thirty minutes, most of us are wasted. As the night becomes rowdy with laughter and stories, Logan hops up and offers to take little Georgia up to her bassinet, only he stumbles and nearly falls straight into the wall, making Sean hold onto his little angel just a little bit tighter.
“I’ll take her,” Bri offers, getting up and taking her out of Sean’s arms. Sean gives her a gentle kiss on the forehead before reluctantly relaxing back onto the couch and watching Bri leave the room. Despite knowing I shouldn’t, I find myself on my feet, quietly following her out of the room.
I walk up the stairs and follow the sound of the soft singing coming from the darkened nursery, and I lean against the doorframe, watching as she tucks Georgia into her bassinet. The baby stirs in her bed, but Bri gently rocks it while the words of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” flow beautifully from her mouth.
I’m struck with the memory of my mother singing this very song to us when we were kids. I always pretended that I was too tough to have my mom sing to me, especially a song I always considered to be for girls, but on the inside, I loved it. I just wish I would have told her that. Though I’m sure she knew. She always knew.
Watching how good Bri’s been with this baby confirms that I was right. I did the right thing by ending it with her. I just wish it didn’t hurt so much. She’s going to make an amazing mother one day. Even with someone else’s child, she’s nurturing and loving.
