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“You think?” she questions.
“I know.”
We head down to the tents and I see that most of the guys have already called it a night. Elle practically goes flying into the tent and dives for her bag before pulling on as many jumpers, socks, and pants as possible.
She turns to me, looking like a snowman in all her clothes. I have to turn away to avoid laughing at her but the sound of her yawn gets me moving. I pull out the air mattress and get it set up.
She instantly collapses down on to the bed and I grab a blanket before throwing it over her. She snuggles down into it before looking up at me. “Where are you sleeping?” she questions.
“Move over,” I tell her.
She shakes her head. “Nu-uh. That is so not a good idea.”
She couldn’t be more wrong. “I’ll be the perfect gentleman,” I tell her.
“Fine,” she huffs, “but you better stay on your own side.”
Unlikely.
I climb in beside her and make myself comfortable. She lays on her side with her arm squished under her pillow, propping her head up. Seeing her like this, gives me a glimpse of my future, that this very sight is what I’ll be coming home to every night and I want it more than I know.
“What’s on your mind?” I question after she remains quiet for way too long.
She lets out a breath as her eyes meet mine. “I…,” she starts before hesitating and looking away. Her eyes grow watery and I reach out to take her hand in mine. I rub my thumb back and forward over her small hand, hoping I’m helping to soothe whatever emotion is running through her.
“It’s ok, you don’t need to say anything,” I tell her.
“I want to,” she murmurs, “It’s just… Apart from Jaz, I’ve never told anyone this.”
“Come here,” I say as I pull her into me. She scoots across the bed and instantly folds into my arms, right where she belongs. She nuzzles her face into my chest and I hold her a little tighter but the fact that she’s done it without commenting about it being wrong or that we shouldn’t be doing it, tells me that whatever she’s about to say is a lot bigger than us.
“Eight years ago, it was the night before my seventeenth birthday, my parents had taken us out to dinner because I insisted that I spend my actual birthday with my friends. I remember mum had been upset because she thought I was growing up too quickly but I shrugged it off, saying she was being silly,” she says as her voice begins to crack.
Elle takes a deep breath before slowly letting it out. “Anyway, my whole family had gone to dinner, which for my parents, was a big deal as we weren’t particularly well off but they insisted that as I was getting older, there would only be so many times left where we would all go out together.”
“So, it was the middle of winter and it had been raining for the past couple of days which really pissed off my little sister because she’d been hoping for snow rather than rain. Dad would keep telling her ‘just a few weeks more,’ and she absolutely hated it. She’d get this little crease between her eyebrows every time but she never said anything, she was too sweet.”
A sinking feeling comes over me as I take in her last comment and how she referred to her sister in past tense. I realise before she has finished her story that she has suffered great loss and I start to understand why she asked about my parents earlier.
I realise that me talking about my parents is probably what has given her the courage to open up about her sister and I’m glad that I did as every time I talk about them, I heal a bit more even though it’s one of the hardest things to do, so I hope it has the same effect for her as it’s damn clear she doesn’t talk about it often.
“That night, after dinner, we all piled into the car. It was super late as we stayed to have second and third helpings of dessert. It was pouring and with how cold it had been, the roads were practically ice. We were just about home when some stupid animal darted out onto the road. It could have been a possum or a cat, I have no idea but my Dad swerved to avoid hitting it and lost control of the car.”
Elle stops there as she brings her hand up to rub her eyes and a take a breath. “It happened so fast. I remember screaming and looking at Sammy while Brendan tried to force me back into my seat and then I blacked out.”
