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“So, what you’re telling me is”—he pointed back and forth between us—“when I leave, it’s done? Is that what you’re saying?”
Pain radiated from my chest, and I looked up into his sad eyes, nodding.
“I get right now. Then it’s over?” His voice grew aggravated. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Sid.”
“Jax, you have to know this won’t work.” I put conviction in my voice that I didn’t feel and had to remind myself that I had years of history backing my decision up. Years of coming in second.
“Don’t make assumptions of what I fucking know. I’m willing to try. I’m telling you I fucking want you, Sid. Not just right now.”
I sucked in a raspy breath, trying to blink away the tears threatening to form. “I can’t do that. I just can’t.”
Jax raked his hands through his hair and stared at the ceiling before meeting my gaze. “Fine. We’re together. We stop fucking pretending that we don’t care. Eat it up, go full out, and when school ends, it’s over. No texts on birthdays, invites to parties, no checking up. Total radio silence.” Jax’s voice was charged with anger, but it was sliced with pain like the words burned as he said them. His rough, calloused fingers brushed over mine before raising them to palm my face. His eyes were filled with agony as he said, “Will being with me until I leave hurt more? That damage was already done, whether you say the words or not.”
I went to object, but his words cut me off.
“If I can’t have forever, please don’t take away right now.”
My mouth wobbled as I stared up into his eyes. I went to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out. I nodded my head without looking away.
“You’re fucking killing me.” He stared at the wall for several beats before his eyes met mine. “We can do that, Sidney, but the cost will be all of you now.”
His mouth crashed against mine, and I met him in desperation. For weeks now, I’d been waiting for this. I pushed it down but was unable to stop the fire. His mouth nipped mine, and a sharp desire flickered through me all the way to my core. I moaned as his lips continued to my ear, licking the sensitive shell and sucking on the soft bottom lobe. Strong hands gripped my hips as he lifted me over his lap, settling my legs so I straddled him. We were chest to chest, and my hands moved up his body, feeling each of his muscles contract at my touch. Digging my fingers into his thick hair, I dragged his mouth to mine.
He broke the kiss to remove my shirt, and his breath hitched, seeing my bra-less breasts. A deep raspy groan rumbled through him as he leaned back, taking me in.
“You’re mine.” Jax’s voice was rough, and his gaze roamed over me. “Do you understand that?” His grip tightened on my jaw, forcing my gaze to his. “I know because I’m yours.”
Eyes searching mine, he waited for my nod of agreement before capturing my mouth with his.
We devolved into desperate touches, trying to soothe the insistent pull between us. The electric current always present had multiplied tenfold since the first touch of our lips, as if it knew it was close to what it wanted most. It was driving an overwhelming need to touch, feel, taste. Lips dragging, teeth biting, tongues stroking, mouths gasping for breath. I rocked myself against his hard length through our clothes, trying to get closer, to ease the ache. A thrill went through me at his quick intake of air.
My needy hands yanked Jax’s shirt over his head, and my breath caught as I took in his tattooed chest and the dual ravens covering his pecs. He roughly yanked me against him, and we both groaned as his hard-muscled chest pressed flush against my breasts.
“Sidney—”
My head tipped back as his heat seeped into my bones. As if driven mad to taste every inch of me, he took advantage of the angle, searing a greedy trail of open-mouth kisses up my neck. My mouth opened in a silent cry, and a shiver flew through me as he ran the tip of his tongue over the curve of my neck. I hissed as his teeth clamped down. Whispering his approval, he banded his strong arm around me as he leaned me back for easier access. He made a wet trail of kisses from the hollow of my throat down to my sternum, and my skin prickled as his rough, calloused hands cupped my breasts, weighing them. He murmured something unintelligible before squeezing them into each other. I swallowed down my breath in anticipation of his next touch.
His mouth dipped in low, grazing my skin. The warmth of his breath fanned over my sensitive, exposed breast. He paused until I squirmed in his lap. Slowly, his tongue reached out, lapping along the seam between them, and he hummed at the back of his throat. My skin burned from the contact, radiating outward through me, and each lick sent a mental picture of what he’d do to my core. He pulled back, lips curving on one side in a sinister smile as he took in my naked chest. “Fuck.” His voice was rough and breathy.
I arched into him as he swirled his tongue around one nipple, then the other. Carving my fingers into his hair, I moaned as he used his hand to knead one breast with strong, deep strokes while he worked his mouth over the other. I tugged hard and forced him to look at me. Molten eyes met mine. His pupils were blown wide, only a hint of gray. Never looking away, he slowly ran his flattened tongue along the underside of my breast.Fuck, that’s hot.
My fingers contracted in his hair as he slowly sucked my nipple into his mouth, taking long greedy pulls that connected directly to my core. Panting, I held on to him, writhing in his lap.
A primal sound left him, and he bit down on my nipple, heat flooding between my thighs. I frantically bucked, crying out at the need pouring through me. He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, tilting my head back and holding me in front of him, fully exposed.
“Jesus Christ, baby.” Overwhelming need consumed me, and my hips ground in circles, uncontrollably searching for friction. He crashed his mouth over mine, thrusting his tongue, owning my mouth in a frantic, dominating kiss. I raked my nails down his back in answer, and he dragged his hands down my waist. His firm grip pushed my hips down as he lifted his into mine. I moaned at the pressure finally meeting the ache.
“You’re driving me fucking crazy.” He sucked in my bottom lip, biting it gently before lifting me to flip our positions and move me below him.
He was propped up on his elbows on either side of my head, denying me the friction my body craved. Slow, languid kisses, gentle nips, his tongue licking against mine. His gaze bored into me, eyes going wide with a glimmer of realization before his hips descended between mine. Simultaneous groans filled the air at the contact. I pressed my breasts against his hard chest, drawing a moan from deep within my throat.
He pulled back, moving his weight to the side as he slipped his hand down between us. His fingers barely grazed my skin as he ran circles over my navel and painfully, slowly worked his way down. My heart pounded out of my chest, and I sucked in my breath as his hand pushed beneath my leggings. His gaze found mine as his fingers ghosted over where I needed him most.
His touch sent a devastating need rippling through me. I tried to lift my hips into his hand, but his arm had me pinned to the bed.
His head lowered to my ear. “Breathe, Sid.” His voice was a command, and I took a deep breath in, surrendering control to him.
He shifted my panties aside and groaned into the hollow of my neck. “So fucking wet.”
