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I laughed. “More than I could explain.”
“I’m going to take you home. Okay?” He let out a breath and raised his hand to bring the waiter over.
Disappointment flooded my chest, bit with anger. I wasn’t supposed to be letting Lucas ruin things for me. I was supposed to be over him. This was going to require a nice long video chat with my therapist.
* * *
The drive home was quiet besides the low music playing through the speakers. I traced my fingers over the red stitching in the leather seat. Taking a deep breath, I stared out the window. I’d messed up huge. I should’ve been paying attention to Eric instead of obsessing over the guy who’d made it crystal clear he didn’t want me. Now it was too late, and I doubted Eric would talk to me again after this epic failure of a date.
He pulled into the back parking lot to the guys’ place. I expected him to rush me out, but instead, he put the car in park. He had a soft smirk on his face, and he spoke softly. “Tonight didn’t go to plan, did it?”
I huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, I guess not.” I grimaced, scrunching up my nose. “I really am sorry.”
“That’s okay. You can make it up to me next time.” His tone was light and friendly.
My gaze snapped to him. “You want to go out again?”
He shrugged. “I’d like to give it another shot.”
The corner of my lip curled. “I think I’d like that.”
He nodded slightly before asking, “Just tell me. Is there a shot for this?” He pointed back and forth between us. “Or are you still hung up on him?”
I didn’t want to lie to him, but I also didn’t want to let Lucas take another thing away from me. I’d let him unknowingly dictate most of my life, and it was all on me. I was done with making decisions around him. I could feel my cheeks heat. “You’ve got a shot.”
A slow smile pulled up his lips, and he leaned in close to me, his breath fanning my mouth. My heart hammered in my chest, and my ears rang, knowing what would happen next. He leaned down, and I reached for the door, swung it open, and jumped out.
“Good night. Thanks for supper. And I really am sorry.” I was rambling as I went to shut the door, cheeks on fire.
“Next Friday okay?” He shook his head slightly and shifted down so he could maintain eye contact before I shut the door.
I swallowed hard. “See you in class?”
He smiled wide. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
The lights were off in the house when I walked in. The boys must’ve gone to a party after the game. I huffed out a breath. Lucas clearly didn’t have as big of a problem going out as I did. They were probably racing to see who could hook up first because of that stupid bet. My chest tightened, and I struggled to take in a breath.
I clenched my teeth hard and tightened my hands. I had to stop this. I had to let him go, or it was going to tear me apart. He was going to bring one of those girls home, and it was going to outright kill me if I didn’t get a grip.
I grabbed my pajamas from my room and headed to the shower. I turned the stainless handle until it was set to scalding hot, needing the heat to burn away the night. I stripped out of my clothes, waiting for the water to warm up.
Eric had been nice, and I really wanted to go on that second date, but the tightness in my chest thinking about Lucas told me I wasn’t ready. I could only hope I wouldn’t waste too much more time on a guy who clearly didn’t want me.
Steam filled the room, and I climbed under the water, humming as it flushed my skin. I let my head fall back into the stream and grabbed a bottle of shampoo from the ledge. I worked it through my hair, and the spicy scent of sandalwood and cinnamon filled the shower. A quick glance told me I’d accidentally grabbed his bottle instead of mine. I leaned against the cool tile and rested my head back, taking in lungfuls of his familiar smell. A calmness surrounded me as it wrapped me in a comfortable safety. It had been over a year since I’d felt safe, and I closed my eyes, basking in the feeling. Memories of his arms around me on the cliff before we jumped. Him whispering, “I’ve got you.”
Tears leaked down my cheeks as pain radiated through my chest. I missed my brother. I missed the life we had. I’d broken apart and strung myself together, but I was faking it.
I needed to get out of here.
Drying off, I wrapped my hair up on my head in a towel and slid on a loose tank top and a pair of blue-and-white polka-dot sleep shorts that fit almost like boxers.
I’d just settled into the couch to watch a movie when the door swung open. Lucas walked in, half carrying, half dragging Jax with him.
“Oh my God. Is he okay?” I jumped to my feet, rushing toward them.
“Of…course…Pips…” Jax slurred each word until they were barely recognizable.
“He’s fine. Just a little too much to drink,” Lucas said and hauled the heavy weight of his friend higher.
