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I could normally count on Jax to be a hilarious drunk, but there was something off about him tonight. He wasn’t just inebriated; he was loaded, now completely hanging off his friend’s shoulders. His eyes were shut, and he swayed as Lucas tried to balance him, nearly tipping them both over.
I swung Jax’s other arm over my shoulder and helped to steady them.
Jax groaned. “I don’t want you to see me like this, Pips. Not like this.”
He sounded devastated, all the joy leaked from him, and I struggled to keep my voice steady. “It’s okay. We take care of each other, right?”
“Right—” He brought his hand to his mouth. “I’m going to be sick.” We came with him to the bathroom, where he dropped to his knees and proceeded to empty the contents of his stomach, murmuring he was sorry.
“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” I stroked his hair back from his face and helped position him so his arm was across the back of the bowl and his forehead rested against it. Not exactly comfortable, but better than nothing.
“I miss him, so fucking much.” Jax’s voice broke, and my heart ached.
“Me too, Jaxie, but you need to take care of yourself. Okay?” I looked at Lucas and whispered, “How often?”
His eyes were downcast, and he clenched his jaw. “More than he should. We all cope differently.” His voice was stern, defending his friend, but it wasn’t necessary.
“I care for him too.”
Lucas’s shoulders relaxed, and he sat on the edge of the tub. “Fuck, Piper. I know you do. It’s just been a hard year. I’ve been trying to keep him together.”
I wanted to curl up into his arms, hold him against me, while we took care of our friend, but I stayed where I was, stroking Jax’s hair.
Once it was clear he was done puking for the night, I helped Lucas pull Jax’s shirt over his head and wiped his face with a clean cloth.
“Just a few sips.” Lucas handed him a glass of water with two pills.
Jax groaned but took them dutifully and let Lucas guide him to his room. I rested against the doorframe, watching as Lucas laid Jax on his stomach and situated a garbage pail near that end of the bed.
I stepped out, leaving room for Lucas to pass me before following him into the living room. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“He didn’t want you to know he wasn’t okay.” Lucas stepped up to me, so close his shirt brushed my hands. I rested my head against his chest, breathing in his scent.
“None of us are okay.” My throat burned with unshed tears. I’d pay more attention to Jax now and his too-bright smiles. The man had been drowning himself in women, each day a new check on the board. He never brought them back here, never said their names. He was blocking out the hurt by numbing himself the only way he could.
Lucas cupped the back of my neck and swept his thumb from my collar to my neckline in soothing motions. “He’ll be okay.” He pulled back, his eyes meeting mine. “We all will.”
TWENTY-TWO
LUCAS
Jax mumbledin his sleep when I covered him in a blanket, and his eyes cracked open. “I’m sorry, man.”
“Fuck off. I’m here for you.” I placed another glass of water beside his bed. I didn’t envy him in the morning. “Even when you’re shitfaced.”
He laughed quickly, followed up with a groan. “What time is it?”
“Three. You’ve been home for a few hours. I just wanted to check once more before heading to bed.”
“I’m still spinning. How bad was it?” He hung his hand over the bed and touched the ground like it would steady him.
“Well, you ran out the front door of the house party.” I almost felt bad being the one to tell him this next part. Almost.
“That’s good. At least I didn’t ruin their couch or anything.” He breathed out a sigh of relief.
I bit my cheek to stop my smile before continuing. “Oh no, you just splattered the girl sitting on the front steps.”
Jax lifted up and looked at me with wide eyes, searching my face for the lie. “No?”
