AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I close my eyes. I want to sleep, just sleep, until the pain of my fucked-up life subsides enough to let me think clearly about next steps.
Because right now, there are no next steps. No exit plan. Not even any ideas.
The light in my room dims as the evening sun sets, and I am glad for the comforting blanket of dark as if it’s blurring the edges of the mess I’ve gotten myself into. As long as the light of day stays away, I can just lie here, curled up in a ball, and nothing can bother me.
CHAPTER TEN
I don’t know how long I’ve been sleeping when a soft knock on my door startles me. I look around in the pitch dark, confused about what time it is and why I am wearing my jeans and sweatshirt in bed.
I stumble to the door in the dark, tripping over something big and soft, then realize I’ve left my garbage bags of clothes all over the place, not having finished my sloppy packing job. The plight I’m in slowly comes back, like a light on a dimmer switch that keeps getting brighter and brighter until everything is there before you, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and there’s no denying any of it.
“Who is it?” I call, kicking the bags out of the way to get to the door.
Actually, I know who it is. It’s Ken, the RA, who will undoubtedly share his bad news with me with the sort of glee most people save for winning the lottery or experiencing some other sort of exciting, stirring event.
I take a quick look in the mirror. I don’t want him to know I was upset earlier, or to even know I care one iota about his solemn ‘duty’ to banish me from the premises. I’ll act like I couldn’t give a damn, and he’ll never have the satisfaction of knowing how he contributed to my pain.
I pull the door open. “Oh. Hello.”
My heart thumps against my chest and I gasp out loud, or at least I think I do.
I’ll be damned. It’s not Ken.
It’s Matthew, Thomas, and John, standing there in all their glory, looking like they’ve never been happier, healthier, or more satisfied.
Thomas puts his hands on his hips. Guess he’s the chosen spokesman. “Hey, can you talk?”
“Um, yeah. I guess so.”
I follow them to the dormitory lounge, a tired little room with battered furniture and a TV chained to the wall to prevent theft. The guys sit, so I do too. I guess my room is no longer an option, since we’ve all been busted.
I fold my hands in my lap and fix my gaze there, not wanting to look at anyone or anything else. In fact, I consider rolling myself into a tight little ball to deflect whatever these guys have come to say to me. But that would be way too weird.
So, I just keep looking at my hands until I can’t anymore.
“Rose, we just got back from orientation,” Matthew says.
So much for avoiding looking at them. My gaze snaps up to Matthew. What the hell is he talking about?
A question mark must be scrawled across my face, because he elaborates. “You know we had our seminary orientation last couple days, right? That’s why you didn’t see us around.”
Huh?
“Um, yeah, I think you told me,” I lied. “Gosh, I’ve been so busy,” I say with a sad little laugh, like I haven’t missed them at all.
Yeah, right.
Matthew looks at the other guys and then back at me. “Are you okay, Rose? You seem out of sorts.”
No fucking kidding.
“I’m getting kicked out. I’m packing to leave the university.”
He frowns. “Are you sure?”
I sigh. Really? They’re going to force me to talk about it?
“Ken came by to say he saw me with you guys. He’s reporting it. And we all know what that means.”
