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Before I could finish my next string of filth, Nate snapped out of his trance and his hands slid to my ass. With ease he picked me up and pulled me to his chest.
I wrapped my legs around his torso and held on for dear life as he grabbed the cash from the table and walked us toward the exit.
“Charge her tab to my room,” he growled at the bartender before exiting the pub through the hotel entrance.
“Nate,” I started, but he shook his head indicating it was not the time to argue.
He never broke his stride as he crossed the hotel lobby to the elevator and pressed the button. It immediately opened, and he carried me over the threshold before dropping me. Wide eyed, I stumbled back against the mirrored wall of the elevator, admiring the change in him.
He was fierce—unhinged—feral even, and I wanted to bask in it.
Nate hit the emergency stop button, and when he turned back around, there was a fire in his eyes I hadn’t seen before. It wasn’t just passion, it was rage. In one step he was back on me, his hand around my throat pushing me into the elevator wall. “Your filthy mouth may be the sexiest fucking thing I have ever witnessed, but tonight, I will be giving the orders. Do you understand me?”
I nodded.
His fingers tightened, and a soft moan fell from my lips. “Words, Eden.”
“Yes, sir.”
His glacier depths penetrated my emerald ones, and I enjoyed the window into his mind as he thought hard about what to say next. In the short time I’d known him, I’d learned Nate was logical, and careful with his words. He said what he meant, and meant what he said.
“You need to tell me if I go too far.”
“I want you to—”
“No.” He cut me off. “I don’t want to do to you what I did to them.”
Them? Who the fuck were they?
Jealousy raged within me, threatening the air in my chest, and I had to stop myself from visibly shrinking away from him. What the hell was wrong with me? I barely knew him. He was just another guy at the bar; another story for my muse to capture and slowly feast on for the years to come. He had women before me, and would have them after me. Hell, he’d had a fucking wife which didn’t seem to bother me as much, but still, I was nothing more than a passing tide to him… Just like I always was.
I didn’t question why that thought stung more than it should. Instead, I pressed for more of him. “What did you do?”
“I treated them as though they were less than the carpet I walked on, and they loved it. And so did I.” Nate’s eyes fell closed, and I felt every ounce of restraint in the hand he still had wrapped around my throat.
Fuck.
He inhaled a steadying breath, and when he opened his eyes and met my gaze, he rumbled his exhale. “Don’t look at me like that, Eden.”
“Like what?” I feigned innocence, pretending like my eyes were not a passage to my very turned on soul.
“Like you want me to do the same thing to you. I won’t hurt you.”
“What if that’s exactly what I want?” I wasn’t a masochist. In fact, submission usually tasted bitter on my lips. I had a rule to make sure I held the power in every situation. It’s what kept me safe; what allowed me to hear the melodies of passing souls and walk away with mine still intact. In my line of work, I had to keep my empathy under lock and key or risk being consumed—something that could easily happen with Nate if I wasn’t careful. That man transcended all my rules and norms. Something about his golden retriever heart paired with his clearly deviant soul called to every single one of my desires. As much as I wanted to save him, I feared it was him saving me, pushing my secret need for security. Despite the hand around my throat, he wanted to make sure he didn’t hurt me. Never once had a man cared if he went too far. But Nate did. He gave a shit, and my heart didn’t know what to do with that.
Nate scoffed and looked over my head at the mirror behind me. “You’re barely free of your teenage years. You don’t know fuck-all about what you want.”
“You’re almost forty, and I could say the same about you,” I argued. Anything to not think about the revelations taking place in my mind. “Tell me, what did you love about dominating them, Mr. Fox? Was it the way they put their trust in you? Or maybe it was the sound of your hand across their bare asses.”
I watched as he pried his gaze from the mirror back down to mine. His ice blue eyes went dark. “It was the control. It was the only thing I had in that room, and even then it wasn’t really mine. I was forced to be there, to make them happy so their husbands would keep coming to the club. Keep buying my father’s cocaine. It didn’t matter how much I wanted out; it was my job, and I was good at it. I was sick.”
“No, you were kinky.”
“It’s the same thing.”
“It’s not. Let me show you. Take control, Nate, not because anyone is making you, or because it makes me happy, but because you want it. You can walk away now, release that elevator and leave, but I think you want this. Your father, those women? They were the ones in the wrong. Forced consent isn’t consent. Maggie was right to save you, but she was wrong in everything else.” I slid my hands up his chest and softly cupped his cheeks. “Take control and set yourself free.”
“Tonight,” he growled.
