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Getting up from the bed, I put on my brave face and walk past him. Germaine grabs me and squeezes my arm. “You are to go straight home. When you get there, take a shower, and get yourself cleaned up. This can’t happen again.”
Saying nothing, I walk to the door after he releases me. Standing there, doorknob in hand, I look at him. “I’ll never regret what you did to me,” I whisper and slip through the door. Do not cry, Jacqulin. Do not cry until you are safe in your bed, locked up and alone.
The house is quiet as I slip into my room. I go straight to the bathroom and start the water. Even if Germaine… I stop my thoughts. It isn’t like I didn’t know he was a priest. Stupid girl. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. It doesn’t matter though, my heart hurts knowing he can shut me out like that.
Lost in thought, I don’t hear the door opening. “Miss?”
I jump and almost slip. “Yes, Ellie?”
“Just checking on you. Your father wants you downstairs in five minutes.”
“I’ll be there. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Miss.” I hear the door close and sigh.
I get out of the shower and look in the mirror through the steam and see the bruise on my neck. It’s a reminder that Germaine touched me. Getting the makeup out, I cover my face and neck. There’s no way my father would understand why I have my first ever hickey.
Dressing in a pair of black slacks and a red silk dress shirt, I put on ballet flats and go downstairs. I’m not in the mood to wear a dress. My father is waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs, glaring at me.
“The next time you leave this house, you will tell me.” He grabs my arm and pulls me into his office.
“I just went to church. It soothes me.” He throws me on the couch next to Mr. Gomez. I cringe at being next to him.
“Arturo here wants to take you out for the day. Be on your best behavior.” My father growls at me as Mr. Gomez runs a hand along my thigh. It makes my stomach queasy.
“I’m not feeling well.” I practically jump up from the couch and walk backward toward the door.
“Stop,” my father says, and I freeze. “You are going to disobey me?”
Mr. Gomez laughs and stands up. “I’ll be in the car. Just make sure she’s still presentable for the day out.”
My father comes over to me and punches me in the stomach. I wasn’t expecting that. A slap to the face? Yes. Absolutely. He’s already done it once. But not this. The pain has me doubled over as he takes me by the chin and forces me to look up at him.
“Stand up straight, you stupid, insipid girl.” He keeps a firm hold on my chin until I’m standing rigidly tall. “Push down your pants.”
“What?” I find my voice and for the first time; my father causes me to fully fear him.
“Goddamn, you want to be beaten, don’t you?” He pushes me against the door and yanks my slacks down. My father’s hand comes down on my ass hard and fast.
“You are lucky that I’m only giving you ten smacks.” Each hit feels like it’s harder than the previous one. These don’t feel good. No, they are nothing like when Germaine smacked my vagina.
When my father is done, I feel the heat in my cheeks. Tears are running down my face, and I’m shaking with uncertainty. “The next time, Arturo will do this, and his specialty is the barbed whip, daughter. Just remember that. Now pull up your pants and go wash your face. He’s waiting for you.”
At first, I’m not able to move. My entire body is trembling, and I’m choking on a sob. Quickly, once my father slams his hand on the desk and tells me to get a move on, I pull my pants up and run out of the office. Bumping into Ellie, I cling to her.
“I’m sorry, Miss,” Ellie says, and I shake my head.
“It… it’s my…” I sniffle and I can’t get the words out.
“Let’s get you to the bathroom,” she whispers, and we go to a downstairs powder room. “Are you alright?”
“No.” I shake my head. “Yes. I’m…” Crying caused my mascara to streak along my cheeks and my eyes are puffy. “I’m scared, to be honest.”
“It’s going to be alright. You just have to keep from causing your father any anger. I know you can do it.”
Her pep talk is kind, but I’m not ready to believe it. My father is a monster, and he’s pushing me into the arms of a man that’s exactly like him. Raising my shirt, I look at my stomach. There’s an enormous bruise the width of my entire abdomen.
“Oh, shit.” Ellie cusses and I look at her. It’s the first time I’ve seen her anything but poised.
