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For the first time he began to think of what it would be like to be involved with a baby again. She’d need help when it was a newborn. Babies only slept a few hours at a time. It took a team to handle that aspect. Would she breast-feed or bottle feed? Cynthia had bottle fed and he relished the nights he’d taken turns to feed Zach. He’d made such plans for the boy’s life during those small hours in the morning.
He remembered the surprising joy he felt at each milestone. No matter that he was from another man, Trace would forever think of Zachary as his son. He missed him every day.
“So which attorney drafts a formal agreement?” she asked.
Trace felt elated. She was going to acquiesce.
“If it makes you feel better, have your attorney draft it. I’ll have mine review it and once we are in accord we sign.”
Cath didn’t look happy.
“This is not what I ever pictured having a baby would be like,” she said sadly.
“We do our best with the cards we’re dealt.”
She nodded slowly. “If we’re really going to do this, then I think you need to meet my family at some point. I’m telling them about the baby at Thanksgiving.”
Trace shrugged. “If you think they’ll want to meet me. They aren’t going to be too happy with the situation, do you think?”
Cath shook her head, pushing her coffee cup away.
“Not especially. I think they’ll be happy for me. Probably not so happy the way things came about. But I’ve been on my own for a lot of years. I’ll try to cover everything with my attorney. I want to go home now.”
Trace looked at her sharply. “Are you feeling well?”
“I’m tired, I want to go home.”
As they walked back to Cath’s apartment, Trace had mixed emotions. He knew this was the right thing to do, but wished Cath had been more open to the idea.
When they reached her apartment building, Cath turned at the entry.
“We can make this work, right?” she asked.
“We can make it anything we want,” he said.
Unable to stop himself, he reached up to brush strands of hair that were flying in the breeze, tucking some of them behind her ear. Her skin was soft and cool. Her cheeks rosy from the coldness. Her eyes looked sad. Leaning closer Trace kissed her briefly.
“We will make this work, Cath.”
“It’s just so different than I ever imagined,” she said sadly.
“Different maybe, that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Go on up and get some rest.”
Cath called her attorney first thing Monday morning and asked for another appointment. It was hard to concentrate on work when she knew she wouldn’t be moving to Brussels in a couple of months as planned.
In fact, it was likely to be much more than a year before she would leave. For a moment the thought of losing her coveted position brought sadness. If she couldn’t carry this baby to term she’d need the challenges of the European operation to take her mind off her loss.
What if she did carry the baby to term? She had never expected to become pregnant.
Would she care at all about the delay moving to Brussels when she held her precious infant in her arms? Then she’d probably be glad to have her mother nearby, have her brother and sister and their families get to know her baby.
But it felt as if she was letting go of one life—without knowing if she would have the chance of a new one.
Her attorney discussed the details of the agreement, offering suggestions when Cath had no definite idea of the limits she wanted to impose. Legally she had no recourse to deny him equal access to the child. She’d thought about it during the weekend, putting herself in his position.
She would not want to be deprived of a minute of being with her child. And Trace had to feel doubly wary after losing Zachary so finally.
When they’d hashed out all details, Jillian agreed to draw up an agreement given the parameters they’d discussed. She promised to have it ready within a week to send to Trace’s attorney.
