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I had so many things to say, but I didn’t know how I could say them. I couldn’t let him kill me now, but I also couldn’t show him that I had changed my mind. He would demand why. And I could not answer him. I could not risk living what I had lived before. “I don’t know. Maybe we should do it when Priscilla leaves.”
He looked at me like he couldn’t believe it. He was furious, but I could tell he was also broken. “That is the only thing you are going to say? Do you really still want to die?”
I didn’t. “That was our agreement.”
“Is that it?” he asked with a psychotic laugh that still didn’t alarm me. He stepped closer to me. “Is this what you want?” he shouted to me, but I still didn’t get afraid. I only remained silent. Looking at his brown eyes to keep myself calm.
But then he leaned forward, making me fall back to my elbows on the bed. His hand went to his waistband, and in seconds he put the barrel of his gun to my temple.
And this time I got scared.
I got fucking terrified.
I could not die. I could not let my baby die with me.
Gabriele
“Is this what you want?” I repeated as I nudged her head softly with the gun. I was all consumed by my anger, but I knew I could still not hurt her. There was no chance of me pulling the trigger. I was just furious at her for still wanting to die.
She could not die on me.
She had to live.
I felt my eyes burning as I looked into her beautiful face. Her skin was paler than usual, and her pupils were dilated. She was breathing so hard. She was…
She was fucking scared.
I narrowed my eyes on her. Maybe I was only wishing. Maybe my head was playing games with me. “You are scared?” I whispered.
Kira took a shaky breath. Her eyes went to the gun and then back at me. “You have a gun to my head,” she whispered back and started shaking.
“You weren’t scared before. When I put a gun to your head before, you were fucking ecstatic. You acted like I was giving you a gift. What changed?”
She only tried to pull away, and I realized I was still holding the fucking gun. I threw it away from us to a corner of the room. I didn’t care about the gun. I was not going to use it anyway. I only cared about the answers.
I got closer to her face to whispered to her cheek before kissing it. “What changed, Kira?”
“Nothing,” she said. She was still shaking.
Fuck me, I did this to her. I was going to hate myself forever for making her scared like this. But I needed her answers.
I kissed her lips oh so gently. “Tell me, darling. What changed.” when she took a hesitant breath, I added. “Please.”
She looked up into my eyes. I could feel her getting softer every second she was looking at them. But never fully relaxed. Tears filled her eyes, and her bottom lip shook. Thank God her whole body was not shaking anymore. And then she whispered, “I missed my period.”
What?
I was expecting her to say, “I love you, Gabriele.” I was expecting her to say, “You healed me, Gabriele.” I was not expecting her to saythat.
My brows were drawn together. For some reason, she still seemed scared. I didn’t have my gun. Why was she scared of me? I hated that she was scared of me. I hated that I couldn’t form any words. I could only peel my body off of her so she could feel maybe a little more relaxed.
I sat back on the bed. Hoping my closeness wouldn’t make her feel bad. God, why was she so scared? Maybe it was not me. Maybe it was the situation. It was scary, wasn’t it?
It should have been, but it didn’t feel like that to me. Kira being pregnant didn’t alarm me one bit. Maybe I was an asshole, but the thought actually made me happy.
Fuck I shouldn’t be happy.
Or maybe she should have been happy like me. Why was having my baby so scary to her?
