AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Salvatore shook his head quickly. “No. It is not you, Antonio. I realized that it was us.”
I went back to my confused state. “What?”
“You could have emotions,” he said like it was so obvious. “You closed yourself, and none of us helped you. Priscilla said, we just accepted you because it was easier for us, and she was right. I hated that she was right. I was jealous she managed to make you feel. I hated myself and poured all my anger into her. I was a total dick.”
I didn’t know she said those words. It was a low blow. It was not true.
I shook my head. “I didn’t need your help. I was fucked up.”
“We are family!” Salvatore shouted, losing control of his own voice. “We are supposed to be able to lean on each other, but we never let you lean on us. We never looked past what you showed us. You could have had these emotions long ago.”
“I don’t know,” I murmured. I really didn’t know. I had always been their big brother. I never asked them for help. I never thought it might hurt me in any way. It was my duty. I didn’t need the help anyway.
Only maybe I did. Maybe I did need what Priscilla gave me.
Still, I would not blame my family. I knew they never wanted to hurt me. I knew they loved me to death.
“It is okay,” I assured Salvatore. I smiled a little to ease his worries. “Maybe it was Priscilla’s fate to make my heart beat again.”
I didn’t believe in fate.
I believed those words, though.
Salvatore nodded with glossy eyes, and then embraced me. I could feel his shame and desperation. I wanted to make it go away. That was what I always did.
But for once, I stayed back. I let him pour his emotions so mine could be set free as well.
When he pulled back, he looked more put together. Salvatore didn’t cry a lot, just like me, and even seeing his eyes shiny was something big. I knew this was big and I liked it. I felt closer to my best friend.
He cleared his throat in a way that felt like he was trying to get rid of the bad emotions and only keep the good ones. “So,” he started. “Have you told her you loved her yet?”
My body went rigid. All the thoughts left my mind.
Salvatore looked at my tense form and shook his head. “Fuck, you didn’t? Why?”
“I can’t lie to her,” I said honestly. “I don’t know if I really love her.”I don’t fucking know what love feels like.
Salvatore looked at me like I was stupid, and for the first time, I really felt stupid under his gaze. “Antonio, you look at that woman like you would burn the world down just for a smile of hers.”
“I would,” I said easily. I would do anything for her. I had no boundaries when it came to Priscilla.
A mocking smile appeared on Salvatore’s face. “Tell me what you feel when you look at her.”
I swallowed a lump in my throat, thinking. “I feel like I am looking at the fucking sun,” I said. It was the easiest way to describe it. “My body does things it has never done before. I have been checking with my doctor for my heartburn almost every month because every time I even think about her, my heart feels like it is on fire. I even feel dizzy when she is being cute.” I shook my head, smiling. “And she is so fucking cute. I didn’t even know what cute was until I met her.”
I looked back at Salvatore and saw him watching me with furrowed brows and an open mouth.
“Is this so stupid?” I asked. I was not good with feelings. Maybe everything I said was bullshit.
He pressed his lips together, probably in order to keep a laugh inside. “You are even more stupid than me.”
“I am?” I asked, dumbfounded. It was a hard-to-believe statement.
“Of course, you are!” he jumped from his chair. “You are deliriously in love with this woman, and you are so stupid to even understand it. I mean, you fucking went to a doctor for heartburn?” he started laughing at me.
I felt like my tongue was tied. I didn’t know what to say.
I was in love with Priscilla?
