AllFreeNovel
Share Us
At least I wanted to believe I could.
Salvatore’s words didn’t help my faith. “Thank you. Now, I feel better,” I said with a stone face. Sarcasm was out of the ordinary for me, but I couldn’t care right now.
He leaned back and left my peripheral vision. “Can youfeelgood, though?” he asked with a teasing voice.
Feelings.
My fucking feelings.
I turned to him at last. I needed him to understand this was serious. “Not the time, Salvatore.”
He shook his head, but his face also turned serious. He was not here to play. “It is exactly the time, Antonio. Everything is about your feelings, isn’t it? It is the reason I had a fight with Priscilla. It is the reason your wife is not here. It is the reason you have been changing since the day you met her.”
I swallowed hard. I wanted to say not, but that would be a lie. Every word that came out of his mouth was true. Thanks to my logic, I was always great at solving my problems, but now they were caused by my emotions, and I knew they could only be solved with my emotions as well.
“She had enough of the Heartless,” I said with a lump in my throat.
“But you are not the Heartless with her,” Salvatore answered with ease. When I looked at him dumbly, he crocked his ankles and lifted a brow at me. “Do you know why I had that fight with her? What made me so angry at her?”
“She insulted, Mia,” I said easily.
Salvatore shook his head. “That is a part of it but not the whole thing.”
I remembered what he told me about Priscilla after their fight. My hands formed fists at the whole memory of that talk. “You said she ruined me.”
This time he looked even more uncomfortable. Good. He deserved that. “I was wrong,” he accepted and looked away like his next words were just too hard to voice. “I was fucking jealous.”
“Jealous?” I honestly didn’t understand.
Salvatore looked back at me. “Yes. It is the stupidest fucking thing, but I was jealous of her. I was jealous of what you felt for her.”
My body turned towards his on the chair. My anger was suppressed by my curiosity. Why the fuck was he jealous of Priscilla? It didn’t make sense. “Explain, please.”
Salvatore took a deep breath. “I could see that something changed in you after she came along, but that day on the Lake House, I was shocked. I saw you cry, Antonio. I saw the most logical man I knew fucking cry.”
The memory of the attack tightened my chest. I never wanted to remember that feeling. “Is it not logical to cry after my wife had been attacked and lost our baby?”
“Fuck,” Salvatore said, looking at my flexed jaw. “I am sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you. I just can’t adapt to this. It is even weird that something can hurt you.”
“My child died!” I blew up on him. Why the fuck didn’t he understand?
He held my arm and his eyes turned glossy. “I am sorry,” he whispered with a broken voice. “It is normal to be sad, but I just never thought you could. I was surprised.”
“I still don’t understand why you were jealous of her.” I wanted to change the topic. I wanted to go further away from that day. It was too fucking painful.
Salvatore shifted in his seat but didn’t look away this time. “I was jealous because she made you feel,” he explained. “I have known you my whole life Antonio. You are my best friend. Whenever I went crazy, you always kept your cool. Alessio, Bella, Mia, and I all went through hell next to you, and you never lost your mind over any of it. I have never seen you sad. You were always perfectly put together and logical. We all accepted you like that. We never thought it was because you didn’t care for us. It was just you. But when I saw you cry for Priscilla…” He looked away, unable to continue.
So, I continued for him, “It felt like I didn’t care about you.”
He nodded.
I have never thought of it like that. My family was everything to me, but they never gave me emotions like Priscilla did. I always managed to stay logical with them. I contained my emotions well when it came to them.
It didn’t mean that I didn’t care for them, though. I cared for them more than anything. I have always tried my best to be there for them. I always put them above anything else.
Anything but Priscilla, at least.
“I am sorry,” I said, and I did feel sorry. I was able to feel a lot more.
