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My breath hitched. “What?”
“I love you, Luciana Vasile,” he said with a smile.
I felt like my heart was going to break my ribcage. I didn’t know if anyone other than Elsie ever said those words to me. I felt ready to cry and laugh out loud at the same time.
I wanted to say it back. I knew it was true for a long time, but the words got stuck in my throat. I was caught off guard. I didn’t want him to think I said it just because he did. I wanted him to know how much I loved him. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops.
However, no sound came out.
“Mama!” Elsie’s voice came before I could answer. “I am ready.”
I opened my mouth and closed it. Was I in shock or something?
Valerio kissed me one more time, this one quicker. “You should go. Don’t make the princess wait.”
I really did need to go, but I also needed to tell him I loved him. For some reason, the words didn’t leave my lips. “Valerio,” I said desperately.
“It is okay, baby,” he said. “I don’t mind waiting, but you really shouldn’t make Elsie wait.”
I smiled and nodded. I didn’t know what I did to deserve him.
I got up and went to Elsie’s room. I prepared her a bath and put her favorite toys in the water. I stayed there watching her play and occasionally joining. After a few minutes, Valerio came, leaned over the doorframe, and looked at us in a way that proved his earlier words were true.
He loved me, and he loved Elsie. I really didn’t have anything to worry about as long as I had him.
Chapter 38
Luciana
Out of the kids in the Vasile-Mazzoni clan, Elsie became closest to Antonio Mazzoni jr., aka Tony. In a little over a week, they were practically best friends. Honestly, I was happy that she had a close friend now, but I couldn’t say her choice was my favorite because it meant going to their house more, and their house had dogs.
I liked Priscilla’s company even though we were polar opposites. I liked how much fun Elsie had too. She was even petting the dogs. Priscilla was trying to urge me to do the same, but that was not fucking happening.
I was a cat person. Everyone should be a cat person.
Valerio made fun of me a lot about it, so I was not happy that he accompanied me here today. I was also a little tense around him because I still didn’t tell him I loved him. He didn’t bring it up again. Actually, we were not able to see each other a lot in the past week. Valerio was busy because of the aftermath of what happened, and I was busy making sure Elsie was adapting here well and she was happy. Valerio helped me when he was free, and I was grateful, but that meant we didn’t have much alone time. Even at night, we didn’t talk a lot, and when we did, it never felt like the right moment. I didn’t want it to feel rushed. I wanted Valerio to feel special, just like I did when he told me he loved me.
I wanted a nice moment, but I also knew if I waited too long, no moment was going to be nice. It made me very nervous even though Valerio didn’t change his attitude toward me or say anything about it.
Honestly, for the most part, he didn’t need to do anything to make me nervous. My brain was very well equipped to do that on its own.
Maybe that’s why today I also invited Verona. Yes, I was trying to have a better relationship with her, but I also needed some extra support. Of course, Verona didn’t have any idea she was giving me support, but I didn’t want any chance of Valerio and me being alone here today. I couldn’t do it here. So many people around made me anxious.
I had to do it when we were alone. I had to make sure it was perfect.
I could do it.
“So, you like kids,” Verona said next to me in a monotone tone, interrupting my thoughts. “That is surprising.”
I shrugged. “I wouldn’t say I love kids. I don’t hate them, but I am not like Valerio. I mostly just like Elsie.”
Verona giggled at that, and I tried so hard not to look shocked. I didn’t think I had ever seen her giggle. “I never met a parent who openly accepted that.” Just when shame was about to surround me, she looked at me with a smirk. “That takes some guts.”
I smiled a little. “Thanks.” I didn’t think it made me a bad mom. I was not horrible with kids, and I absolutely loved my daughter, but in general, kids have never been my favorite. Not everyone had to adore kids, in my opinion. Maybe that was the reason I didn’t want to have more kids. Elsie was enough.
I was not sure if she was enough for Valerio, though. I didn’t ask him if he wanted to have his own kid. I knew he would not force me into it, but I didn’t want to make him sad, either.
God, I still had so many things to deal with.
