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A wail screeched in my ears, and I turned my attention down the row. A girl a few feet away was standing, facing Valencia. Her entire body was shaking, skin yellow, and it looked like it was covered in boils. I tilted my head, watching as she staggered forward. Ever so calmly, Valencia backed away from her, seeming to find the girl of no threat. Which was surprising because she was slathered in poisonous boils. One pop and the pus within was going to melt the skin off.
Then it occurred to me, realization trickling through me. Valencia wanted us to prove ourselves, to stop what had happened. She was testing us to push us right off the bat. Not even giving us a chance to settle in and do a minimal amount of coursework. Which didn’t make any sense at all. Why so quickly? We had weeks, maybe a few months, to train, right?
What felt like a rock plummeted to the pit of my stomach, and I had to swallow hard around a lump that formed in my throat. Unless there just wasn’t time. Unless something else was going on outside the army walls, we weren’t allowed to know about it. My mind flicked back to the papers my father and brother had hidden from me and how they’d been so secretive. According to Valencia, my father had been in the war before. He knew things, no doubt, and with my brother having been drafted, he’d given him the precious secrets. Secrets I wouldn’t have been told.
Until now. Because either way, I was going to be out on that field. I would either wear a soldier uniform or a medic uniform. I would be right smack in the middle of it all. Those secrets would have been told, so I knew exactly what I would be dealing with.
The tips of my fingers tingled in desperation, and I had to clench them into fists to keep the power surge from exploding. It didn’t happen often, but when it did, it was generally because my anger tended to get the best of me. Daddy always said I was like a firecracker, whatever that meant. Apparently explosive. But I’d never seen a firecracker before.
I watched as another girl ran up to the one in boils, rubbing something on her arms, and then screamed, her hands flying to her face as she collapsed. I glanced at Valencia. Her shoulders sagged, boredom etched across her face. My eyes flicked to Mallory, and I jerked my chin in their direction, urging her to go and try. Again, her eyes widened, and she shook her head vigorously, bottom lip trembling. I nodded fervently, trying to encourage her. She couldn’t get better if she at least didn’t try. Mallory bit her lip, chewing as she looked at them nervously and cautiously rose to her feet, scooting towards the group.
Getting up to follow, I stayed a few feet behind my boyfriend’s sister, lingering. When Valencia caught sight of me, her eyes lit up in excitement, and she grinned. But not a happy one, not entirely, anyway. It was more of a sad, cold smile that said secrets lay behind it. Things she knew that I would have to figure out on my own in due time.
ChapterTwenty-Three
“That was so brutal,” Mallory groaned, pressing her fingers against her forehead, and leaned on the table on her elbows, ignoring her tray of food. “So gross.”
“Fish are the easiest animals to work on,” I told her, spearing my baked potato and cutting into it, watching the melted butter ooze over it.
“That doesn’t matter.” She raised her head, lowering her voice. “Do you think she’s all right?”
I looked up to see what Mallory was looking at and drew eye-to-eye with the girl covered in those puss-filled boils. I shrugged. She wasn’t my problem.
“ZuZu,” Carli nudged me in the rib cage. “What happened?”
“Nothing.” I shrugged again and punched the bridge of my nose. “Nothing.”
“She got covered in boils,” Mallory whispered as she leaned across the table to Carli. “That girl because she didn’t do something right. And Azula just sat there—"
“It was stupid what Valencia wanted us to do,” I cut her off bitterly. “It wasn’t challenging at all.”
“Not challenging?” an amused voice cut in, and we spun to see Valencia staring down at us, her blood-red lips curved upward in a teasing smile. “Now that’s something to think about. Helen Hollow’s legacy, not even a bit challenged by little ole’ me.”
I swallowed, suddenly feeling like a small fish in a big pond. I shrank back against the table and opened my mouth to defend myself, but Valencia flicked her wrist, her smile dropping instantly from her face.
“Don’t even try, Azula. Your mother was the same. A smart on her, never knowing when not to talk.” She shook her head and wrinkled her nose as memories flashed across her face.
Memories that darkened the woman’s eyes and almost made them look… sad. Why was she sad? She had obviously disliked my mother for whatever reason. I opened my mouth to say something, this time to defend my mother’s honor, but found my voice gone.
Valencia stepped forward and lowered her voice. “I knew your mother well, Azula. I would watch your mouth if I were you,” she warned, then smiled, nodding at my group before leaving.
I watched her until she dipped out of the mess hall and disappeared in the blink of an eye.Transportation.My fingers twitched, and my breath hitched as I coughed, the sound returning now that she was out of the vicinity of the place.Transportationonly came with a powerful witch, a spell I craved to know. Powers I ached to have. But I was a healer; that was my specialty and not because I wanted it. It was simply fate and, goddess, did I hate fate right now.
I turned back to my small group, ignoring Carli’s probing eyes. “We don’t have any training stuff after dinner, Mal, so we’ll do practicing. I’m sure she will have us do more than fish tomorrow.” I snorted and grabbed hold of my fork, slamming it into the food. The two jumped and turned away from me, knowing full well I was done with this conversation. I pushed my plate further away from me and stood up, suddenly not hungry whatsoever. Stepping around the table, I left the two behind me and made my way toward the door, escaping as quickly as possible. I sucked in the salty air and let the gentle breeze tug at the white strands of my hair. Feet from the mess hall, I stopped and closed my eyes, letting myself suck in the remaining rays of the sun.
“Not hungry, little witch?” an oddly familiar voice purred behind me.
I jumped in surprise and turned to face the forester's head. This close-up, he was better looking than I had thought him before. His eyes glowed a bright orange, or were they gold? The sunset made them look orange, but either way, I liked it. His jaw was sharp, and he had golden hair with caramel streaks. The top two buttons of his white-sleeved shirt were undone, giving way to a puff of hair beneath. The cuffs rolled up to his elbow. I swallowed roughly, my heart pattering, skipping a beat. I was suddenly very uncomfortable, and I didn’t like it.
I knew this feeling; I wasn’t foreign to it. The suddenly sweaty palms, the weak knees, and the lack of voice that wasn’t from a spell were all I needed to know to realize I had a crush on this guy. He was stunning, there was no doubt about that, but I had a boyfriend. I was taken, and it really was as simple as that. So why the hell did I feel so very flustered? This shouldn’t be allowed. I loved Timothy. I did love him, didn’t I?But you don’t want to settle down,a small voice whispered in my ear, reminding me of a future I didn’t want to have any time soon. But I did love him, even if I didn’t want to settle down any time soon. Because that didn’t mean I loved him less, right? Right?
I scrambled back, feeling the heat in my cheeks. I choked on my words, panic flaring through me, and like an idiot, I let out a squeak and pivoted on my heel, running right to my bunk. He couldn’t get me here, could he? My heart hammered in my ears as I collapsed onto the bed on my knees and gasped for air.
The tears escaped my eyes and slithered down my cheeks, hot against my skin. They were gone, out of my reach. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have my blood family to take care of everything for me. Carli was my sister. That was a given. And there was no way I would moan and complain about not having my brother and father gone when she only had her grandmother. That wasn’t fair to her. But it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It didn’t mean that it sucked any less. I knew she’d understand, especially since my family was her family. She wanted to marry Jasper one day, to be with him forever. I couldn’t give that to Timothy; that as well boiled up inside me.
My head felt so clouded.
I didn’t want to be here. I wanted to be out where they were, out in the field, actually doing something. Being a somebody. I was nothing here, and I was going to be nothing except an extension of my mother’s shadow. People knew her name and, by that alone, would know who I was – it was default and not the way I wanted things.
