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No, Azula. Bad, Azula. You have Timothy.
“The – the warlock. He – he was dying, and I – I couldn’t save him,” I sputtered to him, taking in just then how hard I was shaking, my words trembling. “On the field. The war field. He died. I couldn’t save him.”
Ezekial’s eyes flashed in surprise, and he tilted my head up just a little, his eyes sweeping down my blood-coated front.
“It’s not mine,” I breathed. “None of it is.”
His fingers released my chin, and I dropped my head, taking in his sullen cheeks and full lips. This close to him made my insides feel weird, all tingly, and I didn’t like it. I wasn’t supposed to feel this way about anyone besides Timothy. I did feel this way about Timothy. So, what the hell was wrong with me? I could even feel the blush creeping up my neck, hot against cold skin, and I had to turn my eyes away from him to get it to stop.
“You’re in shock. Our minds can play tricks—”
“It wasn’t a trick.” A familiar voice spoke up, catching all our attention as Valencia strode into view. “It happened exactly as it was supposed to. You saw what you needed to.”
I blinked, staring at her in complete horror, my stomach twisting and shoving away any and all feelings I wasn’t supposed to have. “I needed to see that?”
“Yes. Ms. Thompson, why don’t you tell your friend what you saw?”
Carli’s eyes flashed, and tears sprung to her eyes. It was then I took in the sight of her puffy and red eyes. She’d already been crying and was about to be pushed back over the ledge. “The world was – was barren. It was – it was bad. No plant life, nothing. People were dying off.”
I shook my head. “No. I saw the battlefield, so you couldn’t—”
“She did, though. Every one of you saw what is to happen in your own way, of what means the most to your heart. What you saw, Azula, is the need to save. You’ve lived so long in the shadow of your mother, thinking that in order to get out from under it, you need to go and fight. But that isn’t the case, not at all. You need to find your own path in the life you’re meant to live. That’s as a Healer. You have talents that others can only dream of, and you need to put them to the test. To do exactly what you’re meant to.”
I shook my head and tried to get to my feet, but my legs felt like jelly. As my knees locked, ready to push me down, hands grabbed hold of me, keeping me from faceplanting entirely. I looked up to see Ezekial looking down at me, curiosity glinting in his dark eyes, and it made me feel all weird again. I hated it.
“I don’t want that. I don’t even want this.” I shook Ezekial off.
“I beg to differ, Azula,” Valencia said softly, but her voice drifted through my ears without a problem. “I see a lot more than you think I do. I know a lot more than you think I do.”
I turned to face her, my face feeling heated, tears burning the corners of my eyes. “I don’t want to see people die. Saving is one thing, but if I have to sit around knowing they’re going to die, I don’t want to be part of it. I want to fight to prevent that. Do you not understand that?”
“I do. But don’t you think you can fight while healing and saving? You can save by the talents you have. You are far more powerful than you give yourself credit for, Azula,” she told me, her voice a gentle lulling.
A sudden tingling swept over my body, and my head felt heavy and cloudy. I needed to lie down, but I didn’t want to. I knew well enough to not allow myself to crumble now. I had to stand my ground. My fingers curled into my palms, and the bite of my nails in the soft flesh sent a signal through my body, zapping away the tingling and clearing up the cloud inside my mind. Valencia’s eyes widened, and she took a step back in surprise, taken aback by my fight.
She recovered quickly, though, and smiled. “You’ll soon learn how to do that. To put them at ease and guide them to sleep so they won’t feel the pain.”
With that, she whisked around and walked away. I watched until darkness wrapped Valencia in its cloak, hugging her tight. I let out a shuddered breath, closing my eyes and uncurling my fingers from my palms.
“ZuZu?” Carli asked, her voice sounding small somewhere behind me. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
I let out a puff of air through my nostrils and squared my shoulders, my eyes not once looking away from the spot Valencia had disappeared. “Yes, Carli, I’m fine. I’m over it now. She’s right. I have a job to do.”
There was a burning desire inside of me, lit by Valencia’s words. It was a fight to not believe her, to not allow myself to acknowledge that she was right. A part of me did, though, and that was what stroked the flames. They were small, but enough. What if Valencia was right? What if everything I was fighting for was for nothing? What if this was the life I would lead, and it was just that simple? It couldn’t be. I didn’t want to believe that it was. That I was already on the path I was meant to walk.
My fingers flitted up, curling around the hourglass necklace I still wore from Mallory and Timothy’s mother.
ChapterTwenty-Five
“What are we supposed to do again?” Mallory asked, her voice full of shock as we stared down at the lifeless bodies of the goats.
Their stomachs were split open and cleaned completely out to give us a view of the carved-out inside. The curved needles and spools of thread sat on paper towels before us. Not everyone could use magic for stitching, after all. Which meant we all needed to learn how to sew up. I eyed the needle and thread, my stomach clenching. It wasn’t even the sight of the goat or the mere thought of doing the action that had me in jumbles.
I hadn’t slept well at all last night. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw that boy's face, his eyes pleading with me to help him, to save him. I couldn’t feel that Valencia was right off my mind, even though I desperately didn’t want to believe her. It also didn’t help that I had never used actual thread and needle by hand. Magic was the key, my forte. But we had to learn for the sake of the others that couldn’t use magic for it, and in the event we couldn’t possibly use our magic, for whatever reason. I didn’t entirely believe we would never get to use our magic, but what did I know?
I would learn, though. I had a feeling it wasn’t that hard.
Mallory, on the other hand, wanted to use her magic. She wanted me to teach her how to do it and avoid using her hands entirely. I didn’t blame her, but we weren’t here to cheat the system. Plus, Mallory came along wanting this. She had to learn herself as well.
