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Ten years ago…
I don’t know what to think of Jack. I’m still trying to figure him out, I think. He’s offered to help with my mother’s funeral plans. I don’t know why, but I welcome the assistance. It’s kind of him.
Having to deal with this right before college is just not right. There’s a part of me that wishes Mom had waited to die until I was at least in my second semester. That’s terrible to say…but what can I say? I’m still a little pissed at her for leaving me.
Jack’s going to college, too, even though he doesn’t really have the money or any means to support himself. I told him to apply for a position at my job and he did. He’s got a great personality, so I don’t doubt that he’ll get the job.
As for this funeral…I just don’t want to have to do any of this. Thankfully, Jack’s been doing most of the heavy lifting. That makes it a little better, I guess. He even helped out with the obituary, which is good, because I just didn’t have it in me to write about my mother. We’d had a horrible relationship to the very bitter end. Arranging her funeral with all the many details was the last thing I wanted to do.
Thankfully, Jack can relate. He’s had the same kind of trouble with his parents. We’re bonded in that way. I’m glad he’s around.
I’m sitting in the car in front of the funeral home. Today’s the day. Jack sighs and puts his hand on my knee.
“There’s no law saying you have to go in,” he says and I give him a wry smile.
“Thanks,” I say. “But…I really need to do this.”
He nods shortly and says, “All right. Lead the way.”
As we walk in, he takes my hand. It’s funny how I’ve fallen for him. Things haven’t always been perfect. A lot of my mother’s abuse has threatened to mess things up between us. We were on again/off again for a while there, thanks to my trust issues.
We stop at the stairs and I look at Jack, who just smiles at me and squeezes my hand. “I’m here,” he says, “I told you. You can’t push me away so easily.”
I smile back and kiss him gently. Then we walk into the church.
Chapter Seven
JACK
Idon’tknowwhat’sgoing on with Sarah, but she’s been doing her damndest to shut me out. All I know for sure is that something happened. Maybe she had a scare with the pregnancy and that’s why she went to the hospital. I don’t know. But I wish she’d tell me.
We get back from the ice cream place and I find her lying in bed in the bedroom. Her legs are curled up to her chest and she’s been crying. I pause at the door and there’s a part of me that wants to just leave her alone to let her work out whatever it is. But I can’t just leave her when she’s hurting like this.
I sit down on the bed and she stops sobbing, realizing I’m in the room. I say softly, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I wish you would just talk to me about it. I thought we were in this together. You and me. Was I wrong? Do you…do you not want this anymore?”
She doesn’t say anything, so I go on. “Because if you don’t…then okay. This weekend we can move your things back to your apartment and forget any of this happened. I mean…at least we gave it a try, right?”
I hear her sob again, then the sobs turn to full-on tears. I turn around and lay on the bed with her, spooning her and taking her in my arms.
“I’m sorry, Jack,” she wept. “I didn’t mean to lash out at you. I…I don’t know why I did it. I didn’t mean it.”
“Shh, shh,” I say as she turns around to me. Her eyes are red and swollen and the edges of her dark hair are stuck to her face in damp tendrils. “It’s okay, baby.”
“No, it’s not.” She sniffles, then says, “I went back to my apartment.”
I don’t say anything, but I know my shock is translated into my face. She looks away from me. “I…I needed some air or a change of scenery. I just needed to get out of this apartment for a little while. So, I thought maybe I should go back to my apartment and get a few things that I needed.”
“Why didn’t you call me?” I say. “I could have gone with you.”
She kind of half laughs, then she says, “A man came to the door. I recognized him. He was one of the homeless guys in the alley around the side of the apartment. I guess he saw me go in and decided… Anyway, I was so caught up with what I was doing that I answered the door without looking to see who it was, and…well, he mugged me. Stole my purse and hit me over the head. Luckily a neighbor must have heard the commotion and called the police because the next thing I know, I’m in the hospital.”
I’m stunned. I lean back for a moment, trying not to freak out. I don’t say anything and her eyes get wide from my silence.
“I’m so sorry,” she says. “I know I should have told you about it. I just…I don’t know. I didn’t want you to get angry.”
I take in a deep breath. “First…you’re really okay, right? You and the baby?”
“Yes. We’re both fine.”
