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No.
No? Well, what are you waiting for?
I can almost hear her shrilly yelling at me.I don’t know. I almost told him at dinner tonight, but I just couldn’t do it. I don’t know what happened. What’s wrong with me?
You’re still afraid to take a chance on him.
I was. It was that simple.I’m an idiot, aren’t I?
No. Just scared. When you’re ready, you’ll tell him. And once you do, you’ll realize that it’s not nearly as hard as you think it is.
I look at this pearl of wisdom for a long moment, then I text her.Thanks, Jennie.
I set my phone aside and listen to the water run in the bathroom. It’s funny how things work out. I rub my belly and smile. What started as a one-night stand is shaping up to be the love of my life.
Jack comes out of the bathroom finally and says, “You know, I think I’m going to go get a new car tomorrow,” he says. “We’re going to need, like a minivan or something, right?”
I chuckle. “Two kids do not make a minivan family.
“Not yet,” he says with a raised eyebrow. As we go to bed, I realize that for the first time in my life, I’m feeling complete. And for the first time in a long time, I fall asleep in Jack’s arms and I stay asleep.
The next day, over breakfast, Jack asks, “Do you want me to stay home until you have the baby?”
I look at him, a little shocked. “What?”
He shrugs. “I was just thinking it’s getting down to the wire. Maybe I should take some time off so that I can be sure to be here for you when you go into labor.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. It’s too much. “No,” I say. “Go to work. I’ll be fine.”
He takes this in, then says, “You’ll call me, though. If you need anything?”
“I will.”
“Promise?”
“Jack.”
“I’m just saying I want you to be sure. That’s all.”
I put my hand on his and I say, “I’m sure.”
He nods, accepting this. “So, I decided to go in a little late and see about getting a car this morning,” he pulls out his phone and shows me. It’s one of those new Tesla sedans. “They have the minivans, too.”
“This is nice,” I tell him. “We’re not really ready for a minivan.”
He scoffs and turns to Martin, showing him the car, no doubt to see what the thinks. Martin’s eyes light up. “Is that going to be our car?”
Jack laughs. “I guess it is.”
After he leaves, I think about his idea of staying home until I deliver. I’m about two days away from my due date and now that I’m standing here in my kitchen thinking about it, it doesn’t actually sound like that bad an idea.
I’ve got this burst of energy, so I decide to use it up to clean the kitchen and the living room, and the bathroom. I feel good. Really good. Better than I have in ages.
It’s because of Jack. Jennie was right. I just need to say the words to him. Say them with both feet on the ground and all my clothes on. (Saying during sex doesn’t count). Once it’s out there, then it’ll all be right. He’ll know I’m just as committed to him as…
I’m standing in the middle of the living room with the throw pillows in my hand…and I’m peeing myself.
No. No, this isn’t pee.Oh, no…
