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“No, it’s not. That’s why I need to get us out of here.”
Mom shakes her head. “You heard him. You can’t go.”
“I can’t, but we can.”
She furrows her brows in question. “What do you mean?”
“You’re coming with me.”
* * *
We pulled up to the Honey Pot two hours early because we had to leave before Ray got home. It was a mad rush to get packed, especially because Mom basically stared at a wall, soothing herself by rocking side-to-side while I gathered everything of importance or value.
Staring at the property, I chew the inside of my mouth until I taste blood. This plan is barely thought out, and I have no idea if Colin will take Mom in too, or if there’s even room. We can share if needed, and maybe there’s a job for Mom. She’s a decent cook and can clean, assuming I can get her out of the trance she’s in.
“Mom?” I unclip my seatbelt and turn to face her. Her face is void of all emotion. “I know this is scary, but we have no choice. Colin can help us.”
“We have to go back,” she mutters.
“No. If we go back there, we’ll both end up dead. Ray is unhinged.”
She looks at me and grabs my hands. “We can apologize. You can do whatever you do that puts him in a decent mood. It might take a little time, but he’ll forgive us.”
I lean back, ripping my hands from her grasp. “What?”
“It’ll be okay. He might be mad for a while, but—”
My eyes prick with tears and my nose stings. “You know what I do to keep him ‘in a decent mood,’ right?”
“Yes, just do that. It’s worked before when we’ve made him mad. It’ll work again.” She tucks her hands between her knees. “Come on. Let’s go.”
“No, Mom. I will not let him fuck me in exchange for living in a house where we’re emotionally and physically abused,” I say through gritted teeth. “It’s disgusting you’re even asking that of me.”
“It’s not that bad, and Ray’s done a lot for us. We shouldn’t be so selfish. Don’t you remember what our life was like before?”
I have few memories of that time, but from what I remember, we were in a similar situation with my sperm donor. He beat up on Mom a lot, but he mostly left me alone. I don’t know which is worse, getting too much attention from the man in Mom’s life or being completely ignored by my own father. Both were awful.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I open the driver’s door and step out. “Do whatever you want, Mom, but I’m staying here.”
“Vivi!” she calls out, but I ignore her. I’ve given her too many passes because I know she’s traumatized. She probably has a whole host of mental disorders ranging from depression to PTSD, but none of that gives her a pass to suggest I allowed any of this.
It’s one thing when we both pretend it doesn’t happen. It’s a whole other when the words are said aloud.
I pop the trunk and begin unloading my garbage bags when I hear, “You’re early.”
I look over and spot Colin standing by the side entrance to the living quarters. “Sorry. I didn’t have much choice.”
“It’s cool.” He walks down the steps, his eyes narrowing on Mom in the passenger seat. I can’t get over how much he’s changed. The boy I knew is barely visible under the rough exterior of the biker he’s become. “And you brought your mom.”
I don’t miss the bite of disgust in his tone. He never cared much for my mom. When I was a girl, I didn’t understand why. She was beautiful, kind, and took care of both of us. Now, I get it. She brought a little girl into an unspeakable situation, and even after Ray exposed his true colors, she stayed. A man like Colin can’t respect that.
“Is that going to be a problem?” I stand confidently, hiding my doubt.
“Nope.”
“Good, because we’re a package deal. She has nowhere else to go.”
He nods and picks up two of the garbage bags. “I’m not sure if she agrees.”
