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I blow out a breath. Mom’s good at using guilt to manipulate me, and I’ve always let her before. I’ve also never known what it’s like to live away from this place, and now that I do, I’m finding it easier to recognize patterns. She’s scared of the unknown, so she keeps us here, thinking there’s nothing better. That’s bullshit, though. There is better. I’ve seen it, and I want to stay there.
“A couple more weeks, and we can leave. Together.”
She gives me a tight smile. “I hope so.”
“You don’t need to hope. Just trust me. It’s happening.”
“I trust you.”
After we finish eating, we start a movie. Mom falls asleep a half hour in, and though it’s not late, I doze off a few times before deciding we’ll never make it to the end.
“Mom, wake up for a minute. Let’s get you tucked into bed,” I say, nudging her. She’s stiff, a side effect of the beating she took, but I get her up and into her room. “I’ll text you tomorrow, okay?”
“You’re leaving?” She grips my hand with more strength than I thought her capable of right now.
“I can come back later this week,” I say.
“Okay.” Her eyes well with tears, tugging on my heartstrings.
“Do you want to come with me?”
“I can’t. He’ll find me. He told me the club can’t touch him.” I follow Mom to her room, sitting on the edge of the bed after she’s climbed in.
“Why?” This is news to me.
“I don’t know. I told him Colin would come after him if he hurt me, and he just laughed, saying something about being protected.”
I never asked Colin about his visit with Ray. It’s like once I stepped onto the Honey Pot property, my problems didn’t exist anymore. That place is a wonderland for a lot of people, including me—though for many different reasons.
“I don’t think anyone could stop Colin from protecting me against Ray, and we’re a package deal, so I’m sure that extends to you.” I squeeze her hand. “Though I’d rather it not come to that.”
I don’t even have to ask to know Colin’s done things—bad things—since joining the club. I can see a darkness in him that was never there before, something festering under the surface. It’s why I told him not to kill Ray. I might not have had the best role models growing up, but I’ve seen the progression of evil, and I don’t want that for him. I’m worried that if he acts on his dark side too much, I’ll lose him to it forever.
“It shouldn’t,” she says.
This change in her worries me too. She went from ignoring what was happening to accepting all the blame overnight. Why?
“We’ve been over this, Mom.”
“I know, and I’ll be okay.” She settles into bed and closes her eyes. “Get home safe, okay?”
I blow out a breath and leave the room, flipping the light off as I go. Something about this doesn’t feel right. It’s like she’s given up, which can’t happen.
This unsettling feeling has me deciding to stay for a while. She’s right. Ray won’t even know to look for me when he comes home, so I can slip out while he’s asleep. And since I have tomorrow off, no one at the Honey Pot will find out as long as I make an appearance at some point in the morning.
After locking up the house, I crawl into my old bed, the wooden frame broken so it’s just a mattress on the ground. I pull my phone from my pocket to make sure no one’s looking for me, only to find the battery dead. A yawn escapes me, and I realize how utterly exhausted I am. Definitely too exhausted to get back up and search for a phone charger.
It’s a mistake I’ll regret for the rest of my life.
CHAPTERSEVENTEEN
RIGGER
Apounding on the door wakens me, followed by Lucky’s shouting. “Dude! Wake the fuck up!”
Something about his voice has me out of bed instantly, not bothering to pull on pants before yanking open the door. It’s still dark out, but the porch light illuminates Lucky’s wild eyes and heaving chest. He must’ve run here from the clubhouse.
“Is it Navy?” I ask, proving that my every thought lately is of her.
