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I scoff and roll my eyes. Just Gary being Gary. Plopping down in the middle of the kitchen, I rip the stuffing out of the bag and throw it into the air like confetti. The plastic container inside confuses me, but as I pull it out, I realize what it is.
And I burst into laughter. "You got me a vibrator? Stop it!"
Gary is halfway through picking up the empty food boxes when he pauses. "Yes, because you need to get your mind off Jamie, Lara. This is getting ridiculous. You've ignored all of my calls. You clearly aren't looking for work. What little savings you have left are only morphing into bottles of wine. I'm going to give you one day to get your shit together and I'm going to stay here until you get past what is most definitely going to be the worst hangover of your life. And then you're taking the job at Maggie’s with me and you're picking yourself up and moving on with your life."
His words are like the background noise of a movie I put on to fill the silence but don't really absorb. Something about something. I'm more interested in how to cut open the plastic prison surrounding my new toy.
The sudden sensation of nausea grips me. Oh fuck. I won't make it to the bathroom. Hopping unsteadily to my feet, I lunge toward the kitchen, barely making it in time to unleash a grisly scene into the sink. I hate vomiting. But even more than that, I hate when peoplesee mevomit.
Gary sighs. "Well, we knewthatwas going to happen."
Tears fill my eyes, but they're more than just the normal tears of a gag reflex. It's the tears of the sadness twisting my heart. "I'm sorry." Sliding down the cabinets, I collapse onto the kitchen floor and wrap my arms around my legs. "I think… I think I might be the bad guy, Gary."
Crouching beside me, Gary slides a pillow beneath my head and lifts a blanket over my body. "You're only as bad as your obsession, Lara. And eventually, you're going to forget about Jamie. You're not going to become him. You're going to be better than that."
I close my eyes as the room begins to spin. "That's nice."
Lara
Two days later, I arrive at Maggie’s Cafe with Gary. I'm not sure how it's possible, but I'm still hungover. At least the nausea has settled and what remains is nothing more than raw exhaustion, the result of a week of sleep deprivation caused by drinking myself to sleep.
Turns out being passed out and getting quality sleep are actually two very different things. But it was more than just the hangover. It was everything about my life.
I'd not only sabotaged Jamie—but I'd sabotaged my chance at an actual career. If only I hadn't slept with him… if only I'd just been able to lock the past away where it belonged and allowed myself to move forward… then maybe I would have a real career right now.
Maybe I'd never be in this mess to begin with.
If only.
Halfway through my training shift—where I'm following Gary around like a puppy dog—we take our first break for the day.
Sitting outside on the patio, I lean against the sun-drenched brick and take a deep breath. “How you doin’, my love?"
"Fine."
"Just fine?" Gary asks, feigning shock. "You get to spend an entire day with me and you're just fine?"
I smirk and open my eyes, blinking against the sunlight. "I think I did something and you're going to judge me for it."
"Oh God," Gary whispers. "What now?"
Twisting my head to look at him, I sigh. "That night you came over and cleaned me and the apartment up—"
"Yeah?"
"Well, at one point, I woke up on the floor and you were sleeping in my bed and I couldn't find my phone and I went to the bathroom and I honestly don't remember, but I think I called Jamie."
"Lara!"
Pressing my palms against my eyes, I sighed. "I know, I know. I'm a mess."
"Why would you do that? And what did you even say?"
My shoulders slump. "That's the problem… I have no idea. I was blacked out. But I think I left him a voicemail, and it was over two minutes long."
"Oh, shit."
"I know. I'm a mess."
