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"I know what you were upset about."
I cock my head and furrow my brow. "What? How do you know?"
Her gaze hardens. "I was at that party, Jamie."
Chapter 25
Lara
“Youwereatthatparty?” Jamie asks. “At Mark Rockwell’s?”
“I was.”
“The championship celebration party?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t see you there,” Jamie says. “I would have remembered. But, hey. There were a lot of people there. And I was upstairs for a lot of it.”
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at that.
“Tell me what happened. Before you went downstairs and saw your friends picking on Chris,” I urge.
“Well, me and Mark, who you’ve met, and a few other friends, were upstairs in his parents’ room. Bryan, and my girlfriend Amy. And Robin. I think. And there was a girl Amy brought.”
“What was so interesting about his parents’ room?” I ask.
“Not much, really. We were playing party games. Spin the bottle, actually. I know it sounds stupid.”
I nod and tell him, “Gary was invited to that party by someone, and he asked me to tag along. We arrived an hour after it was supposed to start; 'fashionably late', according to Gary.” I feel the tender smile come across my lips as I think of the two of us all those years ago. Besties forever, even to this day.
Keeping my eyes to the ceiling, I decide to tell Jamie the whole truth. “My heart was racing, and I was questioning my entire outfit. When we opened the front door, it became clear that either we got the time wrong, or people started partying way earlier, because everyone was wasted.”
As I tell Jamie about the party, the memories of that night come alive as if a movie is playing inside my head in full technicolor.
We weave through a crowd that doesn't even give us a second glance.
The lights are dimmed, and music is blaring from the speakers. People are making out on the couch, there are empty vodka bottles and shot glasses strewn about the kitchen, and a dance party happening out back. Outside, someone does a cannonball into the pool—naked.
Half the football team is standing in a circle on the patio chanting the school song as they lift a beer bong in the air. I can vaguely make out someone kneeling between them, gripping the end of the tube as they chug the beer.
Maybe that was Chris, I realize now. If I had known, maybe I could have done something too. I shake my head. What a waste.
“Shortly after getting inside, Gary told me he had to pee and then he’d get us drinks.”
"I told Gary ’Okay!’ and I think back now that it must have been an automatic response, because I would never have said 'okay' if I was thinking. Gary was my lifeline, my security blanket. I would never want to be left alone at a party full of strangers, where I obviously didn’t belong, without him.”
I remember now how my panic had threatened to swallow me the moment he left me standing there alone. The feeling of powerlessness, being totally and utterly lost and alone in a sea of people who had absolutely nothing in common with me scared me to death.
“I was standing there, waiting for Gary to come back when a glassy-eyed girl stumbled up to me and screeched, ‘Oh my God.’ I knew at that point that she was going to kick me out, tell me I didn't belong at their fancy party.”
It hurts so much to be telling Jamie this. I was so scared because I knew I didn’t belong at the party, but I continue recounting to him the events of that night.
"But shedidn’ttell me to leave. All she said was ’Your outfit! It’s stunning!’ and I remember feeling such a rush of relief.” I can picture the night so clearly now, even after so many years…
I blink and smile tentatively at the girl. "Thank you?" Did I just turn my gratitude into a question?
She doesn't seem to notice, and if she does, she doesn't care. Her grin spills over her cheeks. "We're officially best friends." She takes my hand, and I get a whiff of vomit on her clothes. "I’m Amy. Come on, we're playing Spin the Bottle."
