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“I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.”
“Just a stomach bug. Seem to have caught it yesterday.”
“Are you taking anything for it?”
She shakes her head. “Nope.”
It feels as though I am pulling her teeth to get her to talk to me. I sigh.
“Summer? I’m sorry for everything.”
Her head snaps up. “Everything? Such as?”
“What I said about you staying away from us, your attempt to help with Ryan, things I said about your ex. Fuck! I don’t remember half of what I said that morning. I was just pissed that you went behind my back and had Ryan diagnosed. And you were right. He is autistic and I have accepted it. It’s not so bad and I’m learning. But we miss you terribly.”
She bites her lip and holds her head down again. I see a glimmer in her eyes as she turns to the sink.
“I miss Ryan too.” Her voice is husky, and I think I hear her sniff. I slip off the stool and go behind her.
“Is it only Ryan that you miss?”
Her back stiffens when she realizes that I am right behind her. She coughs slightly and somehow manages to slip around me. She keeps her face averted as she goes to the living room.
“Thanks for stopping by, but I wouldn’t want you to catch whatever I have.”
“I don’t think tears are contagious, Summer. And for the record, I miss you.”
She coughs again and I frown. Something feels off about this.
“Have you been to the doctor?”
“No.”
“So, what have you been taking for that cough?”
“Nothing. It will run its course. Maybe you should go.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me? Can we please talk, Summer?”
She turns away from me and I catch her wiping at her cheeks.
“Summer? Please. Talk to me.”
“No.” She shakes her head as her voice becomes a sob. “We’ve talked enough. Thanks for stopping by.”
“I can’t leave you like this, Summer. We can fix this.”
“No. We can’t. Please, Lucan. Just leave. Just leave. Just leave.” She sits in a corner of the couch and curls into a ball. She hides her face in the crook of her elbow as her body rocks with sobs. I sit beside her and wrap my arms around her. And the feeling is overwhelming. I missed this woman even more than I thought. And seeing her like this is killing me.
“Talk to me, baby.”
She sobs harder.
“Please.”
She turns her tear-stained face toward me and there’s such abject misery there that I feel like a first class asshole. I’m doing this to her. Me. I need to make this right somehow.
“I-I’m p-pregnant.”
