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I stop and take a deep breath to steady my nerves. This was the only thing I couldn’t explain in logical terms. It’s all raw emotion and even though I have a plan for what I’m going to do, it hurts that this had to happen at all.
I turn to look at her, taking in the sight of her just one last time. I allow myself that one weakness. Her blue eyes bright and shining, her smooth silky skin speckled with freckles as red as her hair. Her petite body with small, feminine curves and of course, her playful optimism.
“It’s because I love you,” I admit to her. “The plan was never for me to fall in love with you. I never in a million years could have imagined this would happen. But it did and it changes everything,” I confess.
Cassidy takes a deep breath, her chest rising and falling as she holds back her tears. "But it doesn’t have to change anything. We can still work together, and the bet could work out. You could still help me with the bakery…” she says, sounding as though she’s grasping at straws.
I stare at her blankly. I hoped this wouldn’t happen, but I am prepared for it. I steel myself, distance myself from the situation and maintain my resolve.
“I can’t marry the woman I love as part of some bet,” I say, stepping out of Cassidy’s reach. “I can’t have what could be- what should be- the happiest day of my life turned into a farce. I just couldn’t take it, Cassidy. You have to understand that.”
Saying it now is such a relief. I know she hears me now, she didn’t the first time I told her in my study on the day of her friend's wedding.
Just like she had done since she arrived here, Cassidy was single-minded. She didn’t talk much. She wouldn’t tell me how she feels or argue that my feelings were wrong. She just refused to address the things she didn’t want to talk about and instead, focused on what she wanted: winning the bet, building the resort, and opening her bakery.
I know how she feels, I know she cares about me too. But she’s just not ready. She’s not ready to love again, to open herself up after everything she’s been through and I don't blame her. I can’t hold it against her. Still, it means we have to go our separate ways for now.
My debt to Cassidy, for bringing her into this whole thing, was paid now. I have a clean slate and it is time to move on.
Cassidy’s eyes fill with tears. Her lip trembles and I just can’t stand to see her that way. I climb into the car and drive away, leaving her outside her new bakery.
And just like that, that chapter of my life is closed.
25
Cassidy
Isit listlessly at my favorite restaurant with Beth and Lizzy. We’re having a small celebration ahead of the opening of my bakery, but I feel numb. Doing all of this without Ethan was something that never factored into my plan. So, to be left to do just that… Well, it wasn’t anything like I wanted it to be.
“I can’t believe he just gave you a bakery, just like that,” Lizzy says. She eats a forkful of her salad and closes her eyes, savoring the taste.
I flinch at Lizzy’s words; she makes it all sound so simple when I know it is a lot more complex. I saw Ethan walk away from me and I know it was not what he wanted. It still isn’t what he wants. It’s just the way things turned out and the way they have to be.
“He didn’t just give me a bakery,” I say, slightly irritated. “We worked on the whole thing together, from concept to marketing and just as we were about to get it done, he pulled out,” I explain.
The ice in my drink is melting and I haven’t even taken a sip. The sweetest moment in my life has a bitter after taste and it’s seeping into everything. I hardly sleep, I can barely taste anything I eat and even as the grand opening of my new bakery approaches, I don’t feel any of the excitement the people around me feel.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Cas, but I seriously think you messed up here. You were so afraid Ethan would hurt you that you hurt him instead,” Beth says. “I really don’t blame him for walking away.”
Someone had to say it out loud, I guess.
I nod, digesting Beth’s words; it’s exactly what happened. Ethan told me he loved me before he walked away and I didn’t stop him. I couldn’t tell him that I felt the same way, that I love him too. I was too much of a coward for that. I didn’t want to risk not knowing what came next. I told myself I wanted certainty and love just can’t give me that.
“You started on the wrong foot,” Lizzy says, playing with her wedding ring. “What kind of man starts a bet to see if he can get a girl to fall in love with him? If you ask me, you’re better off without him.”
I take a bite of my fish, but it feels like slime in my mouth. Ethan wasn’t the bad guy here, he could have gotten away with the bet he made with Ed and I would be none the wiser. I would still be right where he found me at the billionaire’s club.
My heart sinks a little. Because I know I’m better off now for meeting him. He changed his mind, he was honest about the whole thing and lost so much to spare me the hurt I so easily inflicted on him.
We sit eating our food in silence, the lunch time rush at the restaurant blurring into a mixture of laughter and stranger’s conversations. Of course I want the bakery, I’ve dreamt of it for as long as I can remember. But what I want more than just any bakery is the bakery I dreamed of with Ethan, having him there at my side makes all the difference.
“I think it’s more complicated than that,” Beth says, looking at me. “Cassidy was part of the bet too, they were working together and things changed. I think it’s romantic.”
I didn’t think I’d ever see the day when Beth defends Ethan, but she’s my friend and she knows me better than I care to admit. She sees right through me and reads the situation as it is.
It would have been romantic if Ethan and I ended up together. If I hadn’t been too afraid to tell him that I loved him too. If I hadn’t been so focused on the bakery, on the resort, and on winning the bet. Now sitting at this restaurant at what is supposed to be a celebratory lunch, all I can think about is that Ethan is not here. He won’t talk to me, he won’t come to the opening of the bakery, it’s as if he left me the bakery and disappeared into thin air.
“Excuse me,” I say, standing up and leaving a few bills on the table to pay for my share of the lunch bill and leave.
