Page 22 of I Saved Him Too

My heart feels heavy, like an anchor sinking into the bottom of the ocean.

A burden.

If only she knew how much I love her, and that I would doanythingto help her feel safe and loved.

The sound of her sobs tears me apart. My heart floods with sadness and a pain I’ve never felt before rips through my chest. Tears well up in my eyes and I fight the urge to go back in and hold her close to me. Doesn’t she understand I need her just as much as she needs me?

I slide down to the floor and pull my knees to my chest. My head drops back against the door. I rest my forearms on my knees and shut my eyes.

“Hey.”

I open my eyes at the sound of my brother’s voice.

“Not now, bro.” I sniff and wipe the tears from my face.

Ash nods and sits beside me without saying a word.

We stay until Shorty’s cries fade away.

Chapter 9- Sadie

ONE WEEK LATER

One week.

One week, since I last saw Donnie.

I grab my phone to check for any new messages, but there aren’t any. With a frustrated sigh, I turn the phone over and toss it near my feet on the bed.

“You’re an idiot,” Tia says from where she sits beside me swallowing her food. Tia has fully recovered from her injuries and cried with me for days when she found out about Josiah.

“What?”

“I said—”

“I heard what you said, but why?”

“You keep pushing him away, yet you check your phone every fifteen minutes to see if he’s called. Why don’t you just call him.”

“I can’t, Tia.” I rest my head against the pillow.

“Yes, you can. That boy has been there for you even before all this shit went down. He’s been sleeping outside your door on those hard ass chairs foryou. He’s been missing sleep, foryou. He hasn’t eaten because ofyou. You get where I’m going with this?”

God, I hate it when she’s right. A few days after my meltdown, Donnie and his family arranged to meet with the funeral director to plan Josiah’s funeral. I couldn’t handle being in the same room with the funeral director as he explained the burial process, the number of styles and colors of coffins to choose from, and which of his favorite outfits to wear.

It was too much to handle.

I swallow a big lump of regret.

“God, I’m such a bitch.”

“Yes, you are,” Tia agrees.

* * *

FLASHBACK

Donovan age 8, and Sadie age 7

Source: www.allfreenovel.com