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Jo’s in there.
Jo’s gone.
Jo’s never coming back.
I never had the chance to say goodbye, to tell him how much I loved him. He took his life without any concern about what it would do to me, Abuela, and Sophia.
He gave up.
Just. Like. That.
God, it feels like time stands still; like reality is just a nightmare that will never end, and I have to fight my way out.
With my eyes focused on Josiah’s grave, I watch each person take a turn paying their respects by tossing a handful of dirt into the ground where Josiah lies and my heart breaks all over again.
* * *
DONOVAN
I closely watched Shorty and stuck to her like glue when she arrived at the cemetery.
Last night, I called Tia to ask if she could help prepare Shorty for the funeral, knowing Shorty would need her girls.
When they lowered the casket into the ground, my hand tightened on Shorty’s. I couldn’t stand to see her as her grief overcame her. All I wanted to do was take her pain away, but nothing I could say or do would ever take it away, but maybe I could help alleviate it.
“Shorty, do you want me to push you closer?” I stand and crouch in front of her.
Her eyes are full of anguish when she looks up at me, and her tears gut me. I wrap her in my arms and press my face into her neck.
“I’m here, Shorty.”
She silently cries and wraps her arms around my neck, holding on as if her life depends on it.
* * *
SADIE
“Excuse me, Sadie?”
I pull away from Donnie and look up through hazy eyes to a tall, handsome man with a clean crew cut fade who is dressed in a sharp black suit with a blue tie. I blink several times and wipe my tears away. He bends down until his eyes are level with mine. He has a diamond stud in one ear and tattoos on his neck that look like they lead further down.
“Ho-how do you know my name?” I manage to find my voice.
“Josiah.”
My throat grows tight like I swallowed a lump of rocks.
“Wh-what? Did you know him?”
He nods with a sad smile.
“I am so sorry about your brother.” His tone is kind and warm, like Josiah’s.
With my hand over my eyes, my body trembles as I sob. If I didn’t have Sophia, I would be the next in line to join my brother. The pain of losing someone so close to you is like part of your soul being ripped from your body.
A part of you ceases to exist.
You’re no longer whole.
