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Kat, who was standing behind me, laid a hand flat between my shoulder blades. She knew that hearing Jensen’s name attached to my own was hard to swallow and it was her attempt to comfort and make me aware that I was in a public place.
“Yes, that’s her.”
“What’s your name, sir?” she asked sharply. My brain was starting to refer to her as “the hag”, though the badge clipped to her blouse said Lois.
“Chase Forrester.” I flipped out my ID and slid it through the small hole at the bottom of the glass. “See?”
“Yes, I do, but her father is listed as Jensen Jeffers, here, so I can’t let you in. I’m sorry.” She pushed my ID back through the hole.
I reached for the small plastic card with my right hand while my left curled into a frustrated fist. Pain exploded inside me. My throat thickened, my eyes burned and my chest constricted painfully as if steel bands suddenly wrapped around and clamped down, keeping my lungs from expanding. I was hurt and I was furious.
“I don’t give a shit what it says on your computer, I’m her dad,” I spat out menacingly.
“We’ll have to wait and speak to her mother before I can let you in, sir.”
“Look, lady,” my voice rose in a shout loud enough for everyone behind me to hear. “You have no idea what I’ve been through! My daughter has leukemia and she might die. She spiked a fever and was unconscious which is why we’re here! Let me the hell in there!” My voice cracked and my eyes welled with tears. “Please! I haven’t had any time with her.”
The woman’s expression softened with sympathy for the first time. “I can’t allow you in, sir. I’m sorry, but those are the hospital rules and I can’t risk my job. Perhaps Mrs. Jeffers will be out soon.”
“Chase,” Kat said softly. “Let’s just call Teagan. Maybe she can come out to get you.”
I shrugged off her arm as I whirled around. “Don’t you get it, Kat? I shouldn’t need permission to see my own daughter!” Two tears rolled down my face and I hastily brushed them away in angry frustration. Ten or more sets of eyes were trained on me; nurses, people in the waiting room, the hag behind the glass and even a patient in a wheelchair being pushed in from the parking lot through the outside doors.
“This is bullshit!” I yelled, and then stormed toward the exit, leaving my sister and everyone stunned and gawking at me.
The electric doors opened and I rushed through almost running directly into a frantic Jensen. “Chase, is Remi okay? What happened?”
Something inside me snapped and I shoved him hard, all ten of my fingertips coming into painful contact with his chest.
“Why are you asking me? Huh?”
Jensen stumbled back and I kept moving forward. I shoved him again.
“I’m just her goddamned father! I ought to kill you, you son of a bitch!” I snarled before hurling myself forward and slamming my fist into his jaw. Pain shot through every part of my hand, ricocheting through the bones of my wrist and into my forearm. I grabbed the front of his shirt to keep him from falling and drew back my arm intending to land another blow.
“How dare you blame me for everything? You left, you mother fucker!”
“Shut up! You couldn’t wait to go behind my back and take her! You always loved her! Admit it!” I shouted.
“Yeah, I loved her! Enough to step-up when you fell off!”
“You lousy bastard!” I hauled off and hit him again and again, landing one blow after another using his shirt to pull him forward while my other hand slammed into his face with sickening thuds. “I will never fucking forgive you!”
Jensen stumbled again but then regained his balance. He let out a sarcastic laugh. “You think I want your forgiveness? You’re welcome, you ungrateful fuck!” He spat, then launched into a run and his shoulder hit me square in the gut, knocking the wind out of me in a whoosh.
“Ugh!” I grunted as he slammed me into the brick wall behind me. I couldn’t breathe and I started coughing uncontrollably.
“Come on!” Jensen goaded. His lip was split and blood was dripping down the side of his mouth but he was ready for a fight. “You wanna go? Let’s go!”
“Fuck you!” I pushed off of the wall and went for him, punching him again in the face, this time in the temple and then as hard as I could into his stomach. He grunted and instantly bent over in pain. “You stole my whole goddamn life! You stole my life!”
We continued to fight; pummeling each other mercilessly for the next few minutes. I welcomed the physical pain, hoping that it would replace the mental and emotional agony consuming me. However, each pound of my fist only made the pain inside my heart worse. I was beating the man who used to be my closest friend, and the pain went way beyond physical.
Finally, two armed security guards rushed out of the hospital to intervene, each of them pulling one of us off the other.
“Stop!” one of them yelled. “Or we’ll have to call the police! Do you want to go to jail?”
My face and hands were throbbing, and I was certain my abs would feel it tomorrow. I was physically exhausted and an emotional wreck. Any second, I was going to completely lose it.
