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“Okay! Get off me!” Jensen shrugged off the other guard, while I bent at the waist and put my hands on my knees, breathing hard.
The betrayal of my girl and my best friend was the worst pain of my life, but now it was coupled with an incredible fear that I might lose any chance I had to know Remi. It was more than anyone could handle.
I pushed into a standing position, meeting Jensen’s eyes over the two shorter men who stood between us. Both of us were breathing in hard, heavy bursts. I pointed at him, tears glassing over my eyes and turning all three of them into a blur. “How could you do it? You were my best friend!” My shoulders started to shake with the force of my sobs. “She meant everything to me!”
Jensen rubbed the back of his hand across his lower lip, pulling it back to look at the blood smeared there. His chest rose and fell from his exertion. “Did she? Then why did you leave her? You don’t even know what she dealt with, why I married her, or why she decided not to tell you!”
“I left so we’d have a secure future. She wanted me to go!”
“That was before she got pregnant, Chase!”
“You should have told me! Instead, you used it to weasel into her life, and push me out.” I coughed again, the taste of salt and iron in my mouth. I spit onto the sidewalk and it was red with my own blood. The two security guards still stood between us, listening to the whole goddamned thing.
“Maybe I should have, but no one wanted to be responsible for you losing your dream. Least of all, Teagan!”
“You always loved her. You wanted her,” I accused, my eyes narrowing.
“I loved you, both, you jackass!” Jensen leaned back against the wall, trying to calm his breathing. There was pain on his face but I didn’t want to see it. “You were my brother, and you asked me to take care of her. That’s what I did!”
“Bullshit! I didn’t ask you to take her from me.”
“Like I said, you don’t even know the half of it. Teagan said you didn’t want to hear it.”
“Do you know how the two of you ripped my guts out? The two people I trusted the most! Do you think I want to relive it? I barely survived it the first time.”
“No. But maybe knowing will help you accept it and understand.”
“I’ll never accept it. Never!” I hissed at him.
“You sure as hell won’t if you don’t listen! But go ahead. Be your arrogant fucking self, Chase! Big soccer star! You got what you wanted and everyone else paid the bill!”
Fury exploded inside me. Who in the hell did he think he was? “If this is just about the money, I’ll repay you tenfold!”
“That’s not what I meant, you asshole! Teagan made a huge sacrifice when she let you go, and I made one when I married her. Her heart is closed to me! I love Remi as if she is mine, and I’ve watched her go through this fucking cancer! And, you stand there like you’re the only one who suffered.” He shook his head in undisguised disgust. “Get over yourself.” He huffed and turned to walk into the hospital, leaving me with the guards.
Jensen’s words hit me like a hammer; harder than his fists had done. I stood there stunned, and tears started to roll down my face as his meaning resonated. His statements echoed those of my sister a couple of days earlier in my hotel room.
He was right. They both were.
Everything would have been different if I would have stayed at Clemson, taking my chances that professional soccer was in my future like Teagan and I planned. Maybe I would have ended up in professional soccer, maybe I would have had to quit school and get a job to support my family; either way, Teagan and I would have stayed together and Remi would have had her dad from birth. That was the truth of it. If only I hadn’t put my career before the one person I loved more than anyone else. If only…
I ran a hand slowly through my hair as I stumbled back, falling against the brick side of the building. Regret and sorrow washed over me like a tidal wave; the pain of it was as unbearable as the agony at my child fighting for her life. I still didn’t know the reasons behind Teagan’s decisions, I didn’t know what drove her to marry Jensen, but now, I wanted to know no matter how much pain it caused. Maybe she hadn’t trusted me to put her first; after all, I’d already put my own ambition ahead of her once. I swallowed hard at the hard lump and uncomfortable thickness in my throat, as I slowly wiped at another tear. Before she left me, I’d already left her. If Jensen wanted to make me feel guilty, it worked.
The older of the two officers cleared his throat and nodded toward the hospital entrance, indicating to his cohort that they should leave me alone. I slumped against the wall, bringing the back of my hand to my mouth as they went inside.
I could blame everything on Teagan, Jensen, even God… but the truth was, it had been my decision. My choice. My fault.
TEAGAN
It was bad.
Remi was running a fever of close to 103 and she was unconscious. The ER staff had barely gotten her hooked up to the monitors and an IV line into her port when it all went to hell.
Two of the nurses were urging me to leave the small room; two sets of hands gently but firmly on my arms and shoulders pushing and pulling me from the room.
“No! Please!” I cried, desperately. “Don’t make me leave her! I’m a nurse!”
I was gasping and the floor was opening up to swallow me whole. I was used to the hospital routine and having to rush her to the hospital, but they’d never made me leave her before. The monitor hooked up to Remi’s chest was screaming an alarm and I couldn’t rip my eyes from the flat-line pulsing across the screen. Doctors and more nurses were throwing back the sliding glass doors and the curtains, hauling carts of instruments in.
