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“I know that! You knew I went for us! For our future. A professional career pays a lot more than a high school soccer coach. He knew that, but he just used it against us. He was always against us, Teagan. His fucking hatred of me only drove me to prove him wrong.”
“I know.”
I was getting more pissed by the minute and pushed off the bed to grab my pants and throw them on. I towered over the bed with my hands on my hips. “So why didn’t you tell him to go straight to hell?”
“Chase, he’s a U.S. senator. He knows people all over the world. I couldn’t take the chance he’d get you thrown off the team.”
“That lousy bastard. What about you? What did he do to you?”
I was furious and could feel the heat of it seeping up like a flame beneath the skin of my chest, neck, and face.
“He wanted me to have an abortion. He said I was staining the Tessler name and he didn’t want his legacy to be that his daughter was a whore, rather than his contributions to Congress.”
“That contemptible fuck! I could fucking kill him, right now!” I was almost shouting, but Teagan was still calm.
“That’s part of the reason I didn’t tell you. He’d already hurt you so much when we were dating. I couldn’t stand anymore.”
“Who needed him?” I started to pace back and forth. “You should have just come to London.”
She moved in my direction, scooting to the edge of the bed. Her eyes implored me to understand. “It wasn’t that simple.”
“Jensen.” My back stiffened. “How does he fit into this?” Was she already with him? Was that why she didn’t tell her father to fuck off? Was his reaction just an excuse to legitimize her relationship with Jensen?
Teagan stood and walked toward me. She seemed so small and fragile. “Jensen was my friend, just like he was your friend, Chase. He was the only person I had to talk to about you and about the baby; about what my father threatened. I didn’t know what to do. All I knew was that I had to protect you, no matter what.”
“You did a hell of a lot more than talk to him!” I was upset that the evening was now tainted with this conversation.
“You don’t understand, Chase.” She walked forward to lay her hand on my bare chest. “Just listen before you jump to conclusions. He went to my dad without telling me and said he was the father and he planned to marry me. It was in the paper before I even knew it happened. He thought he was protecting me, and you.”
“I didn’t need either one of you to protect me! I needed my woman and my baby!” I yelled, rapidly dipping to pick up my shirt and shoving my arms into it.
“I know that now, but I didn’t then. The most important thing to me now is that you know neither of us wanted to hurt you.”
I huffed angrily, picking up her clothes and throwing them at her. “Hurt me? You goddamn killed me.” I wasn’t yelling anymore: I was stating the obvious.
“I know. I killed me, too. And Jensen has also paid a huge price.” She quickly dressed, turning her back like she was embarrassed.
I was incredulous. “Why is everyone always trying to make me feel like shit? You made a choice! Jensen made a choice! You didn’t have to do what you did! I wasn’t asked what I wanted!”
As mad as I was, I was still heartbroken and the strength of my grief rocked me. “You stole Remi from me, and what if she doesn’t make it, Teagan?” My face crumpled and I fell against the hotel room wall, sliding down to the floor in anguish.
For the first time, I let myself face the possibility of losing Remi and all my misery flooded free. I hadn’t cried like this in front of anyone since that time with Kevin right after Teagan left me.
Teagan, now fully dressed scrambled onto the floor next to me and put her arms around me as sobs wracked my body. I couldn’t help it; I leaned into her and held on tight as the torrent of tears flooded out. I cried my heart out; my body shaking against hers.
“I love you, Chase. I never stopped, loving you. You have to believe me. I’m so—sorry.”
Somehow Teagan ended up sobbing and crying into my chest, soaking my white button-down with her tears, and clutching at the front of it. My head dropped and I turned my face into the curve of her neck.
“Jesus Christ.” The words were ripped out of me. “How in the hell am I supposed to deal with that? You can’t say that shit to me, Teagan. Not anymore. This is hard enough. Not unless everything changes.”
Her arms snaked up my neck and my fingers laced in the soft hair at the back of her head. I felt her desperation.
“Chase, please hold me,” she begged. She had no right to ask, or for me to grant her request, after what she did. Even after our lovemaking moments before… but I couldn’t deny that I needed her as much as she needed me. “I’ll die if you don’t right now.”
It was as if time melted away as I stood up and lifted her with me. My arms tightened, crushing her to my chest, her feet dangled off the floor and I held Teagan as close as I could. Her breasts crushed to my chest felt incredible, and her body wrapped around mine was like a balm to a mortal wound. It was glorious and miserable at the same time.
Never would my heart be unbroken, never would I stop mourning the loss of that precious time with my child, or this precious woman, but even so, I couldn’t stay away from her and I couldn’t waste any chance I had to be close to her.
