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It was nice, but downtown was the part I liked the least. I particularly loved the Plaza area and couldn’t help thinking of Remi whenever I went out with my new friends. She would love all the shops, clubs, and restaurants. Especially now that spring was just a month away.
Most of the guys were single and always on the hunt for a hook up and Trav was no different. I was totally fucked; even though there were times when I was horny as hell, my heart just wasn’t into meeting and dating women. After a couple of failed attempts to enjoy myself with someone else, I just didn’t want to even try.
I felt guilty, like I was cheating on Remi. Ever since she told me how she’d always felt, it was always in the back of my mind. And my heart, and I couldn’t shake it. Meaningless sex wouldn’t fix it and it wasn’t fair to whoever would be in bed with me.
It was almost a year since that argument in the rain, but it felt like yesterday. When I wasn’t balls to the wall on the soccer field, I was miserable.
I could have a crowd around me, and I still felt lonely. I missed her and yeah, the long-distance thing would be hell, but not even being able to speak to her was worse. I had picked up the phone a thousand times to call her. I’d considered texting, but that felt like a cop out. It wasn’t how I wanted our first conversation to be, I wanted to hear her voice. But then I found out last weekend she was back with Alan. It felt like a punch in the gut.
My thoughts almost made me groan aloud as I walked into the locker room behind Travis. “I know, but I’m really tired.” I ran a hand through my sweat drenched hair. It was gross.
He put a hand on my shoulder as we arrived at our lockers, opened them, and started peeling off our sweaty practice uniforms.
“I understand. You should call her.”
I shrugged casually. “She’s back to dating that med student.Alan,” I lamented in disgust. “I waited too long.”
Travis nodded without answering.
“I mean, she dumped him for me, and then all that shit happened in Wyoming.”
Travis was the only friend I’d spoken to about it. I’d spoken to Ben, Chase, and my dad, but only after they asked. I kept it brief.
“Listen to yourself, D. She dumpedhimforyou. Ace Forrester’s daughter wanted you! Are you kidding me? She is damn fine, too. I saw a photo of her on Coach’s desk.”
I never thought of Remi as Ace Forrester’s daughter as other soccer players might. To me she was just Remi, my best friend who I could always talk to, who was always there… who I’d always loved. She was always in my life, and I took her for granted.
“I know. I’m a dumbass. Maybe I shouldn’t have let her push me away, but she doesn’t trust me.” I kept my voice low so that only he would hear me, but the tone was telling. “What am I supposed to do with that? What kind of relationship would we have?” Anger still rose inside my chest when I thought about what happened, especially when I went to Memphis to basically grovel at her feet, and it did no good. It was embarrassing.
Travis and I, now undressed with only towels around our waists, walked into the large shower room that the team shared. We both dropped the towels over the half walls between the open stalls and turned on the water almost in unison.
“Only you can answer that, man. But it’s brutal to see you wasting away in your apartment when you could have an epic time. Gorgeous women are dripping off the walls of the clubs and you’re in your prime, dude. It’s kinda pathetic.”
I put my face under the stream, then turned to let the water saturate my head. My eyes were closed as the hot water rushed over me. I grabbed the bar of soap and started lathering my muscled body. I was in the best shape of my life. Maybe no sex and a broken heart were working in my favor. I was a machine on the field. “I’ll think about it,” I muttered, ending the conversation, and letting my own thoughts fill my head.
I’d been receiving a lot of “No Caller ID” calls on my iPhone for the past couple of weeks. My heart wanted to believe it was Remi, but I knew if she wanted to speak to me, she wouldn’t play those type of games. Either way, every time that happened, I thought about her and that spark of hope flared. Talk about pathetic.
After I finished washing my body and my hair, I stood there letting the hot water soothe my aching muscles for a good five minutes after Travis finished and went to dress. I sucked in a deep breath and shut off the water. I pushed the wet hair away from my face with both hands, it’s length swinging water and splashing the shower wall behind me. I needed a haircut, I lamented.
I shook my head as I grabbed my towel. Nope. I knew I didn’t want to go out tonight. The only date I had in mind was one with DoorDash and my big screen. I didn’t want to think about anything other than what to order for dinner.
***
In the end, I settled for a Two Hand burger and fries from Sauced, and a couple of beers I had left in the fridge. I ate clean six days a week and usually Saturday was my cheat day but fuck it. I felt like shit; so whatever.
My mouth was full of the last bite, and I was flipping through the channels when there was a knock at the door. I frowned, swallowing the delicious cheeseburger. My apartment was in a gated community, and there were buzzers on the front door. I even had to buzz in the kid delivering my meal.
I picked up my phone and looked on the building app, but the front doors to the building were secure. I wanted to see who it was, so I put down my plate and phone and stood to walk quietly to the door to look through the peep hole. It was a man that I didn’t recognize.
“Yes?” I said through the door. He must have snuck in behind another resident or the delivery driver.
“Dylan? Is that you?” He was dressed in a dark coat and jeans, and his greying hair was slicked back. He was clean shaven, but I didn’t know who he was.
“Who are you?”
“Can we talk?” He cleared his throat. He looked nervous and he was moving from one foot to the other.
“Look, who are you?” I was getting agitated now. “What’s this about?”
