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I paused, eyes wide, while tipping the box of dry pasta over the simmering water. “Obviously, Bliss can’t keep a secret,” I shot. “Ugh! Do I not have any privacy in this family?”
“It wasn’t Bliss, Remi. Marin and Ben were at the ranch when you showed up and then bolted. Remember? Ben told Missy what Dylan said after you left.”
I stirred the suddenly unappetizing meal around in the water and turned down the heat once it began to boil like my feelings. “Even better. Did you tell Dad? Because he and Dylan are close and the last thing I need or want is being a topic of everyone’s sympathy!” I burst out. “I don’t need Dylan thinking I’ve fallen apart over him.”
“Calm down, Remi. Everyone is on your side. We just want to see you happy, honey. I know what it’s like to be away from the one you love for a long time. It hurts like no other pain. It dulls, but never goes away.”
My eyes welled with tears, and I felt a tightness clamp down on my throat. I blinked and cleared my throat. I knew the painful story of my mom and dad and Jensey and how they were all hurt in the process. “I know you do, but Dylan and my story is different. I just need to focus on school. I can’t be worrying about him, what he’s doing or missing him all the time. It’s not good for anyone.”
“Funny, but that’s what he said.”
“He did?” An errant tear managed to escape down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away.
“He did. And don’t tell me you don’t know exactly where he is at all times, Remi. I know you both, too well. Using your dad’s roster as an excuse doesn’t fool me. Neither do your subtle questions about him. Missy is on to him, too.” She knew me, through and through. So much, it was almost embarrassing. “You’re both miserable and it’s needless.”
“Right, well, I don’t need any distractions.” My voice cracked as I removed the half-cooked pasta from the burner after suddenly losing my appetite. Dylan was on my mind either way, good or bad. “Look, Mom. It just hurt, okay? He’s always surrounded by a million women, and I don’t need to relive the torture of high school or the first year at Clemson. I just don’t. I can’t. Dylan is gonna do what he’s gonna do and I have to let go of any hope of having any effect on the outcome.”
“He could be with you, Remi. If you’d let him. He could commute like Chase did.”
“It would be agony even if it were possible, but I don’t think it is, not after what happened. He’s so angry, now, and we don’t keep in touch at all.”
“That’s just dumb… and really sad,” she said. “I know how it is to be afraid of rejection after a fight or even a huge humiliation, but sometimes you just have to put on your big girl panties and take a chance that may change your life.”
I felt so hopeless about Dylan and me and talking about it, it would hurt too much. I did want to talk to him. He was always the first person I wanted when something was upsetting or stressful. He’d always been my calm in any storm. But once again, it was complicated.
“Well, Alan and I have started seeing each other again.” The minute I said it, I regretted it. Dylan would hear about it.
“I see,” Mom answered. “Don’t do anything you’ll regret, Remi. I should know.”
“Well, I don’t regret Jensey, Mom. I love him.”
“I know, I do, too. But remember, if things hadn’t happened the way they had, you wouldn’t even know Dylan exists. Sometimes bad things happen for a reason, even though we don’t understand why at the time.”
She gave me pause to consider her point. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too, baby. Think about what I said. Don’t make a huge mistake that wastes years, like I did.”
“What happened to bad things happening for a reason?” I smiled for the first time during the phone call.
“Touché’,” she chuckled softly. “But I just don’t want to see either of you suffer.”
Too late, I thought.
Dylan
Practice was brutal.
My ass was dragging. The offensive coach had run us into the ground. There was an entire mock game and any plays that were botched had to be repeated until they were perfect. Then it was two hours in the weight room. I was so beat.
“Hey, D,” Travis Lemon called as we walked off the field. He was one of the best goalies I’d ever played with. “A group of us are going out tonight; downtown. You should come.”
He was right. Going out sounded better than sitting in my apartment. It was Friday night, but all I wanted was a long, hot shower, a big meal, and maybe binge watch on Netflix.
“Thanks for the offer, but I have an appointment with my couch. Maybe tomorrow night.” I wasn’t going back to Atlanta because I’d just been there for the Easter holiday. Chase and I flew back together. It was all I could do not to barrage him with questions about his oldest daughter. I had hoped she’d show up even though Chase told me she wasn’t planning on joining the family.
“Are you sure? There are so many hot women, dude.”
Travis was a great guy and the closest friend that I’d made since moving to Kansas City.
