AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Remi… women just think it’s cool about the soccer,” I tried to rationalize it. I didn’t want to tell her that I was just a horny jock having fun because nothing would be worse than Remi feeling disillusioned in her emotions for me. She’d always seen me as her knight in shining armor and I’d die to live up to it. My heart felt so full when it was clear that I was the person she leaned on the most. I wanted to protect her from any, and all, pain.
She started to shake her head, a skeptical look in her eyes. “That’s not true. Maybe at first it is, but after they—"
“No, wait,” I asked. “Let me finish. It’s true, there are women around athletes a lot, and I’m not trying to trash women in general, but some of them just want to be a WAG, some of them are real, but some are attracted to the lifestyle or the money. And the team,” I paused. “Some of the guys are jerks who take what’s offered, and I—” Here was the part I dreaded. “I was no better, Remi. I did, too.”
She nodded, swallowing again. She blinked and licked her lips. I could see her pain and it ripped at my gut.
“Look,” I rushed on, “I know you’ve always put me on this pedestal, as I have you. We both had idealized versions of each other, but I’m not going to try to soften things with lies. We’re both human. When you left Clemson, I was upset and angry. I felt lost without you, and I immersed myself on what was around me, and I’m a red-blooded male who enjoys sex. I’m not going to insult you by denying it, but…” I said urgently. “No one is like you, or ever will be, Remi. You know how much I love you. Nothing will change that. Ever.”
A half sob broke from her chest, and I felt wrecked.
“But you were with Christy for almost two years, so she must have been different, Dylan. I’m not stupid.”
“No, she wasn’t. I just got comfortable.” I felt like an ass for saying it aloud. “And I swear she showed up at the ranch without my invitation.” It hurt that I had to repeat it, but I needed to make sure she knew. “She paid to be there. Ask Marin or Ben.”
“I hear your words, and I even believe you. It’s just that so many times I’ve had hope and you’ve hurt my heart, intentional or not. I’m fragile. I hate admitting it, but I am. Now, I have school and you have a huge career. It will get harder, despite our best intentions.”
My heart sank and I turned my face toward her, doing anything I could to get closer. I grabbed both of her hands with mine. “Remi, I’m sorry. There are a lot of misunderstandings and I want to work them all out.” I was desperate to change to tone of the conversation. “I told you, if only you wouldn’t have turned me down for prom…” I smiled, trying to joke, squeezing her hands with mine. I was filled with a kind of bittersweet sadness. We were still young, but I mourned the years lost that we could have been together.
She leaned forward and put her forehead on my shoulder, and I kissed the top of her head. There was no resisting further, I gathered her up and pulled her across my lap.
“If you’d only asked me first,” she said.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. She was adorable. “You’re right.” I ran my nose up the side of her face, wanting so badly to kiss her. Her face turned and I could feel her breath, letting it mingle with mine. Despite my body’s reaction beneath her, and how easy it would be to make love with her, I wanted to find out the real situation with Alan. Her hand came up to cup my face and her chin lifted, her lips parting in want. I knew what she was asking, and it was all I could do not to give in. “You said you were tired, and I’ll be here until Sunday evening… if it’s okay with you?”
“Yes,” she whispered with a sigh. “Of course.”
I kissed her mouth softly, then her cheek, the tip of her nose and her eyelids. “Let’s sleep now.”
“If I go to sleep, will you disappear?” Remi asked.
I laughed softly, happiness filling me. “No.”
“Okay.”
We ended up with her lying in the cradle of my arms, our legs intwined. Her hand rested over my heart, and I stroked her hair repeatedly as we lay there, then kissed her temple. There was a quilt draped over the top of the couch and she reached for it. It plopped in a pile on top of us, but I used my feet to spread it out and while she held on to the top edge. I scooched down so my head rested on one of the pillows, and bringing Remi higher so our faces were close. I pulled her tighter to me and sighed in satisfaction. The air in my lungs released and with it so much of the tension I’d felt since I’d arrived. Just holding her, I was content.
“I am so sleepy,” she said. “I don’t think Alan would like us all tangled up like this.
“Do you care?” I asked.
“Not really, but I need his help right now,” was her simple answer.
My arms tightened around her as my brow creased.What could she need him for?I wondered; knowing I had to find out. “Go to sleep, sweetheart. We can talk more about Alan tomorrow.” A low burning began in my gut, and it was a familiar feeling I’d come to associate with jealousy about Remi. I told myself to get some perspective. I was the one lying with her, not him. I inhaled deeply trying to relax. The room was dimly lit with the TV that had been silenced and Remi’s breathing was already evening out as she relaxed against me.
“I want to go to the hospital so maybe you can meet Rory.” Her voice was already starting to slur as she fell asleep. “I’m very glad you’re here.”
I kissed the side of her face; the temple, then the high cheekbone, then made sure the blanket was tucked around us. I knew she liked to feel like a burrito when she slept and being wrapped up tight with Remi felt amazing to me, too. If I had my choice, I’d spend every night with her for the rest of my life, but I knew it wasn’t our reality. Time and distance, med school, the national team, and Alan were roadblocks, but I wanted to figure it out more than anything else in my life. Chase and Teagan finally got it right… we could, too. We had to.
As incredible as this felt, and despite my deep longing, I’d promised myself that I wouldn’t touch her sexually until we’d figured out what we were to each other. It would be like trying not to breathe, but to do so before things were settled would only compound the misery if we didn’t end up together. I wouldn’t make love to her again until I knew nothing stood between us. It didn’t matter that my heart felt like she was mine, and not just as friends. I felt the connection between us was soul deep, but I had to be certain she felt the same way or making love would just hurt us both.
I wanted everything with Remi. A relationship with someone who owned my heart and soul would be a welcome change from superficial fun.
I had to know she loved me enough to trust me. After that, we could rule the world.
Remi
I felt warm and content.
