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“She’s happy,” Anderson comments after several long moments, the strain in the car increasing.
“She appears to be.”
Although she didn’t seem too happy when she walked onto the balcony tonight. If anything, she was troubled. Anxious.
“No, Creed,” Anderson retorts, voice much more forceful than his usual tone. “Sheishappy. With Tristan.”
“Okay.”
“It took her a long time to get to this point. Even after I’d gotten back from deployment and visited her in Paris, she wasn’t the Esme I remembered. Sure, she put on a good act. If there’s anything the two of us have mastered, it’s pretending to be happy. But I’ve always been able to see through the façade. Saw that, despite the half-assed smile, despite her telling me how much she enjoyed her life in Paris, something was missing.”
I want to ask him what exactly was missing, but bite my tongue. Deep down, I already know the answer.
“Then Tristan came into the picture. For the first time in years, I saw my sister smile. Heard her laugh.” He pushes out a sigh. “I love you like a brother, Creed. And it goes without saying I adore Esme. Not just because she’s my sister, but because she’s always been there for me. I don’t want to lose either of you. I don’t want to have tochoosebetween either of you.”
“Why would you have to? We’re—”
“I saw the way you were looking at her tonight, Creed.”
I snap my mouth shut.
“I also saw the way she was looking at you. And I get it. You haven’t seen each other in years. Now that you’re in the same place again, it’s bringing back all those memories, good and bad. I’m not going to sit here and claim your feelings for her aren’t real. Or hers for you. That’s not what this is about. I just…” He pauses, drawing in a deep breath.
“I never want to see my sister as broken as she was those first few years in Paris. If that means you need to keep your interactions to a minimum, I’m begging you to do that. Don’t seek her out. Don’t become overly friendly. You won’t be able to avoid her altogether, not with her resuming her official duties, but I request that your interactions be limited to what’s required for you to do your job. And I’m not asking as your boss or anything, but as your friend. As someone who cares about both of you. Because despite what you may think, despite what you may want to believe, there’s no doubt she’d throw it all away for you, Creed. Are you willing to do the same?”
I lick my lips, chest squeezing. I want to tell him I am. That I’d happily walk away from everything if it means I could have Esme all to myself.
“At one point I was,” I answer.
“What about now?”
I sigh, hanging my head. “I…can’t.”
“Exactly. So please let her go, Creed. Let her live her life and be happy without getting in the way. She deserves it after everything she’s been through.”
My throat tightens, the ache in my chest swelling at the thought of never feeling Esme’s soft skin against mine. Never inhaling her delicious scent. Never being the one to make her smile. But I made my decision. No matter how much it hurts, Esme deserves to be happy, even if I refuse to afford myself the same thing.
“I’ll keep any of our interactions strictly professional.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re a good brother.”
He relaxes into the back seat, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I feel like a shite one right now, asking you to essentially be an arse to her.”
“You’re just trying to protect her,” I tell him, able to speak from experience.
My brother had tried to talk to me before I jumped off the deep end. I refused to listen. I’ve often wondered what would have happened if I’d heeded his warnings. Would Esme and I have found our way to each other anyway? Or would I have kept my distance?
Would Adam still be alive?
“Not just her, Creed. You, too.”
“Thanks, mate.” I meet his eyes through the mirror and give him an appreciative smile. Then the car falls silent for the remainder of the short drive to Wintervale Manor.
Once I’ve ensured Anderson is safely inside, I return to the SUV, my thoughts consumed by Esme as I drive away from his estate, my mood shifting from regret to nostalgia to desire and back again.
Finally, I find myself turning down the familiar tree-lined roads of a suburban neighborhood, all the lawns neatly trimmed, some with toys strewn on them.
