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I once swore I’d never live in the suburbs, preferring the excitement and pace of life in the city.
But priorities change.
Mypriorities have changed.
It doesn’t matter what I want anymore. All that does is what Rory and AJ need. Nothing else.
I park in the driveway and take a deep breath before stepping out of the car, gazing up at the two-story Queen Anne-style house that’s nearly identical to every other one in this development, the only difference being the exterior design.
Mindful of the late hour, I’m as quiet as possible when I slip inside the house. The space is mostly dark, apart from the light over the sink in the kitchen.
“Hey.”
Hearing Rory’s voice, I look toward the living room as she stands from the couch, closing the cover on her e-reader. She’s dressed in a pair of pajama bottoms, t-shirt, and a gray jumper partly zipped.
“What are you still doing up?” I whisper.
“I wanted to make sure you got home okay.” She smiles sheepishly as she smooths a strand of red hair behind her ear.
“Sorry. I forgot.”
Since I moved in, she made a habit out of waiting up for me to get home before going to bed. At first, it was mainly due to the fact she had a newborn and sleep was more or less non-existent, especially those first few months. But even once AJ started sleeping through the night, she couldn’t make herself get into bed without knowing I made it home in one piece. Not after losing Adam.
“Well, I’m home now.” I walk toward her, leaning down to place a kiss on her cheek. “No need to worry.”
She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Nothing really makes her face light up anymore. Except AJ. Since the day he was born, he’s been the only bright spot in her life.
“How did tonight go?”
“It was fine,” I reply, although I know she’s not asking about tonight in general, but about seeing Esme again. Rory and I have spent the past nine years lying to each other and ourselves. Why stop now? “Just another opening night at the opera.”
“And the Princess Royal? How is she?”
“She seems to be doing well,” I say on a hard swallow, hoping she doesn’t pick up on my unease.
“Good.” Rory forces a small smile, then clears her throat. “Well, now that you’re home, I’m going to head to bed.”
I give a slight nod, my gaze following her as she walks toward staircase. About halfway up, she pauses, glancing over her shoulder.
“Creed?”
“Yes?” I arch a brow.
“If you don’t want to be alone tonight, my door’s open.”
I don’t immediately respond, just stare at her as she continues up the stairs, disappearing into the darkness.
I’m more than aware this arrangement between us is incredibly fucked up. Not to mention bad for her mental health. But we’ve gotten in the habit of using each other like this.
Every time, I tell myself it won’t happen again. That I won’t keep doing this to her. Or myself.
Just like I’m sure she tells herself the same thing.
But as I close my eyes, all I see is Tristan kissing Esme. All I hear is her laughter. All I feel is her body against mine as we traced the stars together.
I thought I’d moved on. Thought I was stronger. Thought I’d buried all these feelings.
All it took was mere seconds in Esme’s presence to bring them all back to the surface.
