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“You don’t bother me.” She started walking again, giving me a chance to strong-arm my wild emotions back into place. “I don’t know how you manage it, but you make things lighter somehow. Like when you comforted me after Yazmin sent Leena that package.”
So much for steeling my nerves. My pulse throbbed in mythroat as I rewound to that moment. It hadn’t been much—she’d been upset, and I’d held her. Sort of. I’d been in my shadow form checking in on Hireath, and Kaori was worried about her maniacal, imprisoned parents who’d experimented on Charmers. For all the control she wielded, she’d collapsed in that moment, so I did what anyone would have done. I hugged her. And even though she couldn’t physically feel me and I couldn’t physically feel her, Ihadfelt her.
Which is why I’d left in a hurry with nothing more than a grin. The same type of grin I was wearing now. “That’s my role. I’m here to please.”
The mercury-tinted veins on her knuckles receded back to the small scar on her inner wrist. We’d reached a new canopy-covered table littered with artifacts, and she picked up a few heirlooms and rearranged them with delicate fingers. “Everything is done and over with. We’re rebuilding our home. So, tell me why I’m not convinced of this peace? Why do I feel like my parents had something to do with this mess? They’ve been imprisoned for decades, and yet…”
“You think they are responsible for the monster attacks?”
“No. I don’t know.” She worried her bottom lip. “They did terrible things, Calem. With Gaige’s shadows behaving in an abnormal fashion and the Kitska beasts acting out… It just feels like something bigger is going on. What if they found a new way to control people from afar? What if they’ve tapped into some new magic?”
“That prison they’re in, Galvanhold, it’s inescapable. Not only that, but it nullifies magic.Allmagic.” Even the name of that horrendous place set my teeth on edge. Not because going there was a gruesome way to die, but because I knewshewas in it. Now, though, was not the time to unpack that part of my past.
“I know, it’s just…” She wrapped her arms around her stomach as her words faded away.
I allowed myself one simple touch. Just another soft graze along the smooth skin of her arm. More for myself than her, because I needed to alleviate the burn in my fingers that I refused to examine. “I think sometimes it’s hard to accept that everything is okay when we’ve been fighting for so long. But everythingisokay, Kaori.”
Slowly, she turned, and my fingers dragged around her elbow. She stared at the space where we touched, and a single crease formed between her brows. Then smoothed. Her heart-shaped lips parted a fraction. Gods, she was so damn beautiful. But she was also my friend and my mentor, and I wasn’t about to screw any of that up with a dalliance that could make our future painfully awkward.
Fortunately, Kost chose that exact moment to step out of the shadows. I let my hand slide away, thankful for the first time in the history of ever for his impeccable timing. “Time for interrogations?”
Kaori’s eyes widened. “Interrogations? Did something happen?”
“Calem is just being insufferable,” Kost said through a forced exhale. “We’re going to meet with the Charmers who witnessed or experienced a Kitska beast attack. They’re already gathered in the communal dining area. I just came to retrieve him.”
“Insufferable.” I flashed him a grin before winking at Kaori. “Another one of my glorious traits.”
She relaxed and I finally got to see the smile I’d been waiting for. Turning back to the artifacts splayed out in front of her, she reached for a quill and some spare parchment. “Go on, then. I’ve already heard the accounts, and I need to continue cataloging these items.”
“I’ll come bother you later,” I said with what I hoped was a nonchalant wave. But as I stepped into the shadows to follow Kost, I caught the whispered words beneath her breath and thought about running away entirely.
“I hope you do.”
She was already under my skin, and that was a bad place to be. There was a reason I preferred to be alone. I had demons and monsters in my veins, and even though she’d taught me to control one, I knew she had no chance of taming the other. No one did.
SEVENTEEN
KOST
The makeshift library was no more than a handful of tables laden with antiquated tomes. Still, it was more than I expected to find, given Ocnolog had razed the city with fire. The sprawling tree that had housed the former library must have offered some protection. Tomes were currently organized by condition, ranging from singed to simply coated in dirt. When Gaige and I stepped under the canopy to examine the contents, the Charmer who’d been cataloging the books was already leaving to help his brethren with a more demanding task.
“I’m not sure we’ll find anything useful,” Gaige said. It was the first statement he’d uttered since we’d left the small cottage.
“It doesn’t hurt to try.” Gingerly, I wiped one finger along the binding of a tome.Queen of the Butterflies.A cursory look inside the cover indicated it was a work of fiction. Perhaps a good read, but not what we were looking for.
I knew full well that the likelihood of us finding anything that could help with Gaige’s shadows was next to impossible. If Cruor didn’t have any information housed within its library, I doubted the remnants of Hireath’s texts did, either. Still, I was driven to try. I’d been itching to ask Leena if she’d found information on a beast that could help, but because of the nature of Gaige’s and my arrival—with our injuries, followed by our quick departure to Hireath—I hadn’tgleaned much. She’d made mention of one idea to test but was pulled immediately away upon returning to her homeland. That anxiety of not knowing only drove me to search more. Even if it was futile.
Gaige moved around the table and selected another tome. After flipping through a few pages, he replaced it. “I suppose I was a Charmer before I was undead. Maybe there is something here.”
The sliver of hope in his voice filled me with purpose, and I snagged a smaller text covered in dust. I wiped away the grime with a cloth on the table. “It’s possible.”
Gaige tilted his head as his gaze shifted from my face to the book in my hands. A smirk claimed his lips. “I can say with absolute certainty, however, that that book won’t help us. At least not in the sense you’re thinking.”
I took a closer look at the title, and heat crept up the back of my neck.Of Love and Promise.There was even artwork decorating the covering, an embossed, abstract tangling of bodies and arms surrounding by roses. It seemed even Charmers enjoyed the escape of a romance novel.
“I do recommend it, though.” Gaige’s eyes were alight with something I didn’t dare name. “I quite enjoyed it. There are a number of lovely scenes, if memory serves.”
My pulse roared in my ears, and suddenly I was transported back to that time we’d researched Noc’s curse together. Just the two of us, Gaige and me, sequestered in Cruor’s library pouring over tomes. Searching for answers. He’d gotten so close. I hadn’t been ready yet to accept his—or anyone’s—advances. And now…
