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“My shadows.” Gaige said, voice flat. “If you’re not going to say it, I will.”
“Are you certain?” Leena asked as she peered at her friend, brows drawn together in concern. Beside her, Kaori and Raven mirrored her expression.
Gaige nodded once. “The shadows we’ve seen…” He hesitated, searching for words until he finally sighed. “They don’t feel like mine, but everything indicates that they are.”
“You’ve been making progress. I’m sure these attacks will—” Ozias started, but Gaige cut him off.
“That doesn’t excuse the people I’ve already hurt.” He looked only at me. I got the feeling that he wasn’t just referring to those who’d been attacked by monsters. He was talking tome. The weight of his stare was so obvious—so much so that everyone at the table fell silent as they glanced between us. The surrounding air was thick with renewed tension. And no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, I couldn’t even breathe without inviting it in. I was still feeling too raw, too exposed, after our kiss. We needed to find answers, to help Gaige, but in that moment, I couldn’t even think. Not with him so close, with so many things left unsaid.
I stood abruptly and pushed away from the table. “If you’ll excuse me.” I didn’t bother to offer an explanation or wait and see if they would, in fact, object to me leaving. I just didn’t have the mental fortitude to school my emotions any longer. I needed space to heal and regroup. I needed to find a way to compartmentalize my desires and focus on the tasks at hand. Which was proving to be difficult, considering those tasks involved Gaige and he was the very person causing my emotions to run wild.
I’d find a way—I always did—but for now I simply needed to be alone.
EIGHTEEN
GAIGE
Ihated him. I hated every inch of his flawless, smooth skin, the intricate shade of his fern-green eyes. I’d hated how he’d looked at me with such unfettered want directly after our kiss. And then buried it behind an impassive mask. I hated that my fingers still burned from with the memory of his hips in my grasp. I even hated that raw, guttural sound that had loosened in his chest when we kissed. I hated the feel of his lips, the heat of his breath.
Most of all, I hated the way he walked away.
Once he’d excused himself, I’d remained behind with the Council to explain more in depth the nature of my shadows and the correlating attacks. By the end of it all, I was emotionally exhausted. I could have happily curled up in some dark corner and tried to sleep for an age, but Leena broke away from the group and steered me toward a more private space along the quiet tree line.
“Leena, I really need a moment to myself.”
“I need you to come to the beast realm with me,” she said as she held out her hand.
Her words took me aback, and I barely managed to respond. “What?”
“I know how much pain I’d be in if I suddenly couldn’t see mybeasts. And until we try, I can’t guarantee anything but…” She hesitated, considering her words as she shook her head. “There might be a way for you to visit them without another Charmer’s help.”
At first, her words didn’t fully register. The whole reason I couldn’t see my beasts any longer was because my Charmer magic was dead. The emblem on the back of my hand was no more than a faded etching of what it used to be. There wasn’t a beast in this realm or the next that could restore me to my former self. And yet, a quiet ringing filled my ears.
“I don’t know if I can,” I said, voice suddenly hoarse.
She frowned, and her hand fell to her side. “What do you mean? I’ve taken Noc several times. Your powers won’t prevent you from entering.”
“No, I know. It’s just…” I forced a swallow. “I don’t know if I can lose them all over again.”
Sadness filled her expression. “Oh, Gaige. I can only imagine what you’re feeling. I know it’s a lot to risk, but I need you to trust me.” She held out her hand again. “Please.”
I considered it for a long moment, too scared to acknowledge the small spark of hope she’d ignited in me. If I spent too much time examining it, I’d most certainly walk away. So before I could do that, I took her hand.
The moment our fingers interlocked, the rosewood Charmer’s symbol on the back of her hand bloomed into a magnificent tree. Roots wrapped around her fingers as branches and vines climbed up her arm, trailed beneath her clothing, and eventually sprung to life across her neck and cheekbones. Flowers blossomed along her temples and framed her eyes, and then a luminous white light washed over us.
Panic smothered me in a rush, and a cool sweat beaded along my hairline. “Wait, Leena. I’m not sure—”
But we were already gone. I slammed my eyes shut as a soothingwarmth whispered against my skin. A gentle breeze tinged with the scent of lilac and vanilla tickled my nose, and my knees went weak. It was too much. Quick, shallow breaths racked my body, and I fell to the earth.
This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come. I can’t do this.
“Gaige.” Leena’s voice was gentle. “Open your eyes.”
Sitting back on my heels, I finally allowed myself to look. The beast realm was everything I remembered it to be. Lush, rolling fields dotted with white flowers came flush with a dense forest. Pine, oak, ash—all manners of trees grew together in harmony to suit the creatures that lived here. The soft but insistent tinkling of metal pulled at my senses, and I dragged my gaze across the clearing to find a weeping willow with dripping, pink strands. With each passing breeze, bronze keys winked at me from beneath the leaves.
Words escaped me as I drank everything in. A glistening, sparkling blue pond complete with fist-sized lily pads and tall, swaying reeds. The snowcapped mountains framed by the woods. The impossibly blue sky, completely free of clouds. A shadow formed overhead and raced across the ground at breakneck speed. A low, grating groan rumbled the earth, and she tipped her head toward the sun with a blazing smile on display.
Wind swept across the plains in a sudden gust as a dragon with stark-white scales and gleaming, ruby eyes cut through the air. He temporarily blocked out the sun as he moved overhead, and then he dove. Wings pinned to his back, he barreled toward the earth and then pulled up at the last moment possible. He sped past us, and the squall rippling off his monstrous body smacked into us in earnest. Leena only laughed as the monster who’d once wreaked havoc on our world climbed higher and higher into the sky.
