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“No one in this world knows how you feel. No Charmer, to our knowledge, has ever been changed before. You are alone in your experience, but you are notalone.”
My already-prepared retort died on my lips.
Stance softening a touch, she held out her hand. “I can’t give you back your powers. I could make you a key for every creature here, but both you and I know that wouldn’t really work, either.” She waited for me to nod before continuing. “But I can give you this.”
With her free hand, she palmed Valda’s neck and the space around her ignited in a stunning, rosewood hue. The key in her hand glowed with an inner light in response, and magic snapped through the air.
A sudden surge of adrenaline pounded through my veins. “What are you doing?”
“Valda wanted this.” The rosewood glow died, and the key returned to its normal metallic hue. “You haven’t been forsaken, Gaige. You just have to find your way again.”
She grabbed my ungloved hand and pressed the key tight into my palm. My fingers curled around the warm metal, and Valda’s bond threaded through my being to wrap itself around my heart, right next to Okean’s. And then my Zavalluna tossed her head to the sky and ignited her magic. Effervescent light effused from her horn as a peculiar tingling prickled along my hand. At first, I thought it was my former bond with Valda solidifying once again, but the sensation shifted to that of a fresh burn being exposed to the sun. Wincing, I finally glanced down.
The breath in my lungs disappeared in a rush. My Charmer’s emblem. Gone was the smeared, charcoal etching, and in its place was an inked black mark. The citrine hue was missing, and I got the feeling that it wasn’t permanent, that it would only last as long as Valda’s power. But I didn’t care because I could feel my tie to the beast realm again. It pumped through my being with every heartbeat and rendered me completely motionless. Slowly, I dragged my gaze to Leena.
“Zavallunas amplify bestial power. You’re not a beast, but the connection and love you still feel for your creatures is tangible. It’s real, Gaige, and they experience it, too. Valda can strengthen the magic in their bonds enough to open the door.” She closed her hands around mine. “You can’t summon them to our world like you used to, but when you summon her, you can visit the beast realm whenever you want.”
A strangled sob ratcheted through my chest. I threw my arms around Leena and buried my face in the crook of her neck. She enveloped me in a hug so warm and full that my legs threatened to give out beneath the weight of her support.
You are not alone.
“I’m sorry I didn’t think of it sooner,” she whispered. “Actually, you have Kost to thank for this.”
“Kost?” I couldn’t keep the shock from my voice, and I pulled out of her embrace. “How?”
“He came to me early on searching for answers. I don’t think he’s ever stopped searching, Gaige.” She gave me a meaningful look. “Kost is… Well. I don’t have to tell you. But he cares, and you know it. He’s been trying to make things better since the moment you were raised.”
The world seemed to tilt on its axis, and I steadied myself against Valda. “All this time…” Shame burned through me. “HereI thought no one understood, that no one was capable of comprehending my pain or helping me through this.
“I was so lost in my new…existence that I didn’t even bother to search for answers. I used to… I used to be so much more involved. But Kost kept going, even when I refused.”
Her knowing look was more sobering than anything she could have said, and I realized in that moment what a colossal fool I’d been all that time. Still, she didn’t hesitate to remind me.
“You’re stubborn,” she said, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. She rolled her eyes as she continued on. “But you are kind and loyal and brilliant and so many other wonderful things outside of your powers. You still have purpose, I promise. That’s what we’ve all been trying to tell you.”
Some louder than others.Kost’s visage flashed to the forefront of my mind, and I sighed. He was still a prick sometimes, an absolute ass, with a cold fastidiousness he wore as a shield between him and everyone else, but Leena was right—he cared. I still wasn’t sure if it was enough to bridge the monstrous gap separating us from each other, but I didn’t have to blame him anymore. I’d made the choice to remain in this world, and I carried the responsibility of unearthing my new place in it.
“Thank you, Leena.” I undid the chain holding Okean’s key and added Valda’s to it. “There aren’t enough words in the world to tell you how much this means to me.”
“You’re welcome, Gaige.” She wrapped me in one last squeeze. “For now, though, we have to go. Noc is waiting for me so we can travel to the border towns.”
Brushing both keys with light fingers, I nodded. “And I have to figure out how to stop my shadows from aggravating the Kistka beasts.” I glanced at her, waiting for judgment or apprehension. I found none of it. “I’ll train. I’ll master the shadows and bring peace to the monsters.”
And myself.Leena took my hand without another word, summoning her power to transport us back. I’d expected devastation. Despair. Agony. Instead, when we left behind the beast realm and my creatures with it, the only thing I felt was hope.
NINETEEN
GAIGE
We’d lost track of time in the realm, and when we manifested outside the small settlement, the waning sun was already hiding behind the trees. A dusky purple sky dotted with the beginnings of stars stretched on endlessly, and the burgeoning call of nightingales lilted from the forest. The Council was already waiting—minus Kost. I frowned at his absence but stalled briefly to bid Noc and Leena farewell.
Once she’d summoned Onyx and they took flight, I turned to Ozias. “Where’s Kost?”
“In the house.” Ozias shifted uncomfortably, and he gripped the back of his neck.
“We’re going to eat,” Calem said, gesturing to the communal table where Kaori and Raven were already seated with plates of fruit, cheeses, and bread. “Tell him to stop being an idiot, and then tell him to join us.” He paused, giving me a hardened once-over. “You too.”
I couldn’t help but blink. “What?”
