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“Gaige,” Kost murmured. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” I croaked.
He gave me a gentle squeeze. “You lost control in your sleep. It’s not…uncommon. But it’s imperative you train in the morning. Do you understand? You cannot risk yourself or anyone else any longer.” With a careful, precise touch, he grazed one of the now-healing wounds on my arm. I shivered but didn’t dare argue. I know I’d been dreaming but… It had felt so, soreal. And if Kost witnessed my shadows wreaking havoc on the manor… If they alerted him to come here…
Everything really was my fault. A deep ache simmered in my skull. I hadn’t meant for this to happen. Not earlier with the Mizobats, and certainly not in my dreams. Those vicious, black tendrils hadn’t even felt like my shadows. Their power, their energy was so unfamiliar to me. But maybe that was what happened when they grew stronger than their host. They were becoming a force I didn’t recognize, and one I couldn’t control.
“I didn’t… I…” Words failed me entirely. For a long moment, I stared at the space where his fingers rested against my skin. Part of me wanted to fall into that touch, to let myself completely break so he could help me put myself back together again. But even now, physically depleted and mentally spent, I couldn’t bring myself to forget about our past, even for a night. There was still an indignant glimmer of anger that refused to be squelched, and I brushed his hand away. His lips thinned, but he didn’t reach for me again. Which was an unnecessary knife to an already bleeding heart, but I couldn’t have it both ways.
We stood, tension wrapping us in an uncomfortable silence. I broke it with a half-hearted wave over my shoulder. “Let me sleep. I’ll train with Ozias and Calem tomorrow.”
He stiffened, and then his expression went blank. “Of course. Good night.” Without another word, he exited my room and closed the door behind him.
Grabbing a damp towel from the attached washroom, I quickly wiped dried blood off my chest and arms. Then, I removed my pants, pausing when I grazed the cold hems near my feet. Frowning, I inspected the peculiar wet spots on either leg. So consumed by the sight and sensation of blood against my skin, I hadn’t noticed the damp press of linen against my calves.
Rolling the fabric between my forefinger and thumb, I half expected my fingers to come away a faint reddish pink with diluted blood from a wound I’d missed. Instead, they came up clean.
Water?
A chill spider-walked down my spine. I’d stood in the ocean in my dreams, the cool waves crashing against my ankles and climbing my calves. My pulse thundered in my veins as I slowly brought the hem to my nose and inhaled deeply. The brackish scent of salt hit me hard and fast, and I dropped the pants on the floor.
No. No, no, no. Sweat. It’s sweat.I jerked back and bumped into the frame of the bed. Nothing else had been real. It was just a dream. The shadows were here in Cruor.Myshadows. And I wasn’t the only one who’d been hurt. Kost had been bleeding. No doubt others had suffered the consequences of my inaction.
If it were sweat, it would be elsewhere, too.I swiped at the backs of my knees, my thighs, my waist. Nothing.
You’re panicking for no reason.
Closing my eyes, I forced out several slow breaths. Once I wrangled my nerves, I let my shoulders roll back and tipped my head to the ceiling, stretching my neck. There was no sense in focusing on the sweat-soaked fabric. It was a natural reaction to the extreme fear I felt in my dreams and the exertion I so obviously experienced by summoning my shadows. But as I returned to bed, my gaze went straight to my gloves. Quickly, I slipped them on and once again pulled the sheets tight around me. As I lay there, staring at the ceiling and counting down the seconds until morning, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had actually walked across a distant ocean shore. Or that I’d awoken something dangerous. Something with burning, hollow eyes that were now pinpointed on me.
FIVE
LEENA
Late night over the open ocean was spectacular. The choppy waters were ink-black and jagged like glass, and the moonlight bounced off the sea to shower our ship in a cool glow. We were traveling to Rhyne to finalize peace negotiations and reopen trade routes, which meant we’d be away from home for some time. There was still so much to do in Wilheim and Hireath—in all of Lendria, for that matter—but a small part of me was thrilled to be traveling again. I’d spent my life roaming the lands in search of magical creatures, and the prospect of encountering new beasts was an undeniable thrill. Even if that wasn’t the purpose for our venture. Leaning against the ship’s railing, I inhaled deeply and savored the taste of salt on the back of my tongue.
“You should try to sleep.” Noc’s lips ghosted against the back of my ear as he braced his hands on either side of me. The subtle weight of his chest against my back was tantalizing. “We arrive at Rhyne tomorrow morning.”
“I know.” I placed my hands on top of his and twined our fingers together. “The crown never rests, it seems.”
He chuckled. “You’ve only been queen for a minute and already you’re complaining?”
“Not complaining, just eagerly awaiting the day we get to rest.” I turned around to stare up at Noc. Gently, I grazed the crescent-moon scar along his cheekbone. “When things settle, I’m demanding we take a week solely to ourselves. Deal?”
He planted a gentle kiss on my fingertips. “Deal. We’ll put Kost in charge. He’ll reform every inefficient practice far faster than we could, anyway.”
“While I appreciate the honest assessment of my abilities, I’m going to have to decline.” Kost’s voice drifted over us, and I startled in Noc’s embrace. Peeking my head around his shoulder, I spied Kost lingering in the open doorway to the quarters Noc and I shared, nothing more than a shadowy form that wavered in the ocean breeze.
Noc slid his arm to my waist as he faced his brother. “Something happen?”
Kost hesitated. Just a fraction. Just long enough for me to catch the tightening of his shoulders, even with the fluid nature of his shadow form. Noc had visited him just a few days ago, and already he’d felt the need to seek us out. The only reason he could even pinpoint us on this ship was because of his close tie to Noc and knowledge of our travel route. He also knew just how important this meeting with Rhyne was. He never would have come if something hadn’t pushed him to do so, let alone at this late-night hour.
“It’s Gaige. He’s…” He shook his head once. I’d never known Kost to be at a loss for words. There was so much in that little pause. Guilt. Responsibility. Longing. Finally, he continued. “I’m exhausting all possibilities.”
I didn’t miss how he didn’t directly answer Noc’s question. As if answering would somehow cause more grief. For him or Gaige, I didn’t know.
Noc seemed to notice it, too, and he frowned. “Has he gotten worse?”
“Possibly. It’s hard to say.” Again, he seemed to dance around the truth. But before Noc could pry further, Kost looked at me. “I was hoping you could help.”
