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Which means it’s been decades since we saw eye to eye.
What if I misread the situation? What if coming here was a mistake? She could be totally done with me, not wanting a relationship at all. She could slam the door in my face and tell me to leave her property.
I scrub the back of my neck. “Hey, Ma. Hope this isn’t a bad time.”
A high-pitched keening sound comes from my mother, then she launches herself at me. Her arms wrap around my neck as she drags me down, peppering my face with kisses. Her fingers clutch my neck, my hair, her slight body trembling.
She smells like she always has: that scent of laundry detergent, fragrance-free lotion, and Mom. A thousand memories assail me as soon as I inhale, my vision going blurry with moisture.
“Mom—”
“My baby is here.” She smacks a kiss onto my cheek then pulls back, her eyes roaming over my face, my body. “You’ve been working out.” She squeezes my shoulders. “So strong. Last time I saw you, you looked so tired and drawn. You’ve put on muscle.”
That was ten years ago. I gulp. “Can I come in?”
“Of course. Yes, yes. Come in.” She leads the way inside, closing the door behind me. There’s a bench next to the door. My eyes land on a shoehorn with a handle long enough to reach my hip. My mother follows my gaze and snorts. “I’m an old woman now, Fallon. I can’t even bend down to put my own shoes on.”
“You look great, Ma.”
She just waves me into the kitchen, heading for the gurgling coffee machine.
My brows jump. “You never used to drink coffee.”
“An ex-manfriend got me hooked on it.”
“Manfriend?” Why haven’t I heard about this?
My mother throws me a glance over her shoulder that says, Don’t even start with me, boy. My lips twitch. She pours a couple of cups of coffee and sits down at the small, round breakfast table across from me. Reaching her hand across the table, she squeezes my fingers.
For the second time in two days, I’m sitting across from a skeleton from my past. This time, though, I want to be here.
“What a start to the day,” she says on a sigh. “I’m so happy to see you, Fallon.”
All my fears evaporate. I’ve avoided my mother for years. I thought she was disappointed in me, ashamed of my past—but there’s none of that in her gaze now.
My revelation last night at Slim’s house comes rushing back to me. Have I been punishing myself for my mistakes all these years? Did I push my mother away not because she was ashamed of me, but because I was ashamed of myself?
Bright eyes study my face before my mother leans back and brings her cup to her lips. “So, who is she?”
I cough into my fist. “What?”
“You look well-rested, your shoulders are back, and those shadows in your eyes aren’t as dark. You met a woman, fell in love, and she made you realize that you’re worth something.”
My eyes hold my mother’s for a beat, then I huff out a laugh. “Well…yeah. But that’s not why I’m here.”
“Oh?”
“I’m here to apologize, Ma. I was a shitty son and I turned my back on you. I should have called you more, visited. I was only a couple of hours away in Heart’s Cove for the past few years, but I never even came to visit.”
My mother gives me a sad smile. She reaches across the table to squeeze my hand again. “You’re here now, Fallon. That’s all that matters.”
“I’ve been so stupid. I’ve pushed so many people away because of how I felt about myself.”
Her grin turns wry. “Well, I guess that means the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
“Huh?” I tilt my head. My hand plays with the bottom of my mug, mind still reeling that I’m actually here and that my mother seems happy to see me.
“I had a falling out with my parents too, you know. I was a second-generation kid from an immigrant family with very conservative parents, and I married for love.” Her lips curl, eyes faraway. “They didn’t approve of my American husband, didn’t approve of my children having American names, didn’t approve of a lot of things I did.”
