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He deserves someone better than me.
As I sort through my tangled feelings, trying to find the right words, Rudy kisses me. He curls his hand around the back of my head and tilts my head to meet my lips. I cling to his wet shoulders, too weak to push him away.
When we pull apart, Rudy stares into my eyes and opens his mouth—and I know I need to stop him. I need to tell him about the baby, and I need to do it right now. This can’t go on a single minute longer, because it’s wrong. I’m lying to him now, and I need to tell him the truth. He deserves that.
I open my mouth to tell him—and someone knocks on my door.
“Lily,” Nora’s voice calls out. “Open the door!”
“Coming!” I answer, then turn to wrap a second towel around my head. I glance at Rudy, who has an eyebrow arched and a smile tugging at his lips.
“We’re not done talking,” he informs me. “You’re supposed to open up to me about the cancer and why you’re so terrified of letting me help.”
“Uh-huh.” I speed-dry myself off as Nora knocks on the door again. “I was in the shower,” I call out. “Just throwing on some clothes. One second.”
The knocking subsides as I tug on some sweatpants and my silky bathrobe. I open the door to see Nora standing on my doorstep with a foil-covered plate.
“I brought you my mother’s carrot cake. She insisted on me picking her up when I drove back from Reno last night, and I’m pretty sure she just used the cake as an excuse to come back. As I’m sure you remember from last time, it’s delicious, and it’s most definitely a bribe so that you’ll tell me about what’s been going on with”—her eyes widen at something over my shoulder—“Rudy.”
She’s already thrust the plate into my hands, so I’m holding it when I turn around to see Rudy standing in the bathroom doorway in a cloud of steam, my fluffy pink towel wrapped around his slim hips. Water runs down the carved lines of his stomach and chest. He holds the towel closed near his crotch, but it doesn’t hide the line of pale hair traveling from his navel down beneath the towel.
Every dark emotion that had been gripping my body just…melts away. For a moment, I forget why, exactly, I’m not supposed to want him.
“Hey, Nora,” he says casually, as if he doesn’t look like some kind of female fantasy come to life. “Did you say carrot cake?”
She squeaks, then clears her throat. “Yeah. Ma’s recipe. Lily can vouch for it. It’s delicious.”
“Yum,” he says.
“I was just thinking the same thing,” Nora replies.
I throw her a sharp glance, and she grins at me.
The plate in my hand moves when Rudy takes it from me. He lifts the foil and lets out a little noise. “This smells amazing. Cream cheese frosting?” He dips a finger into the frosting and brings it to his lips.
Nora and I might as well be watching a tennis match, our eyes moving in sync from the plate up to his mouth. Then I meet Rudy’s laughing eyes just as he wraps the tip of his finger with his lush lips. I scowl. He’s doing this on purpose.
“You know it!” Nora says brightly, blinking away her stupor. She makes a beeline for my kitchen and pulls out the drawer holding my utensils. “Cream cheese is a breakfast food, right?”
I laugh and accept a fork. Thankfully, the smell of carrot cake doesn’t set my stomach off. I’ve been lucky with the morning sickness so far, and I don’t want it to start now that I’m almost done with my first trimester. Puking with Rudy on the other side of the door was embarrassing enough.
Finding out our relationship was doomed made me feel just as bad.
Carrot cake will fix that, right?
Rudy disappears for a moment and returns wearing his pants and nothing else. It looks almost as obscene as the towel, but at least there aren’t a thousand droplets of water glittering in the early morning sun for me to stare at.
The three of us stand around the kitchen counter and dig into the cake. It tastes divine, just like the last one did.
“You know, I’m not usually a fan of nuts in cake, but these walnuts definitely add something,” Rudy notes.
I pause. “You don’t like nuts in cake? What about brownies?”
He wrinkles his nose. “No way. Nuts are a great way to ruin an otherwise good brownie.”
Nora snorts. “Next thing, you’ll say you prefer cakey brownies over fudgy ones. You’re probably one of those freaks that likes the edge pieces.”
Rudy takes a bite of cake and tilts his head from side to side. “Well…”
