AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Now it’s my turn to laugh. “I had the opposite experience. She told me she only wanted casual sex, and I was the idiot who wanted more.”
Phil shakes his head, then calls for a few shots.
Lee pours them, then pours one for himself. “You two are pathetic, you know that?”
I laugh, and it feels almost foreign as it leaves my lips. When was the last time I laughed? The three of us take our shots, the alcohol burning on the way down. I grimace. Sambuca. I shake my head and huff at Lee. “I know how pathetic I am. Don’t need reminding.”
“Why don’t you just go find these women and tell them exactly what you just told each other?” Lee leans against the bar, glancing at each of us in turn. His arms are crossed over his broad chest, brows arched. “What the hell are you waiting for?”
Phil slams a hand down on the bar. “You’re right. I’m going to go find her. She’s got to answer her phone at some point. I’ll see her tonight. I need to see her tonight.”
I blink, nodding. “Same. Fuck this. I’m not drinking on my own when I could be beside her,” I say, sliding off my stool. “I gotta take a leak.”
By the time I return to the main bar, Phil has disappeared and Lee is cleaning up his glass. He gives me a grim smile and nods to the door up to the rooms above. “Your new best friend went to go harass his girl until she tells him where she is.”
Groaning, I slide back onto my barstool. “I can’t go see Lily tonight. I’ll go tomorrow.”
“I think you should.” Lee leans against the bar across from me. I’ve known him most of my life. We met in ninth grade on the first day of high school. We were two scrawny kids in the same homeroom who fought over the hottest girl in our year. Chastity Jackson did not live up to her name, and neither her two-week relationship with Lee nor her two-day relationship with me ran the distance. Obviously. My friendship with Lee, though, has been just about the only constant in my life.
“You do?” I ask honestly, wanting to hear what my friend has to say. “I mean, I know Philly-boy wanted to go claim his woman, but the truth is, Lily told me to back off. I’m thinking maybe the right thing to do is listen to her.”
“You’ve been moping around for weeks, and she’s laid up in a hospital bed recovering from major surgery. Even if she told you to stay away, you have to go see her. You don’t have to go profess your undying love, but you need to show your face, Rudy.” He shakes his head. “Don’t be a fucking idiot. She’ll remember if you don’t come see her.”
“She might throw me out,” I note.
“Yeah, and then you’ll be exactly where you are now. What have you got to lose?”
“When did you turn into an expert on women?” I snip. “Last time I checked, Drea left your ass at the altar. You haven’t exactly lived happily ever after.”
Lee’s eyes grow shuttered. “Maybe I don’t want you making the same mistakes I did.”
Sighing, I close my eyes. “Sorry. That was uncalled for.”
“Just…” Lee combs a hand through his hair. “Just get out of here, get some sleep, and bring Lily some flowers in the morning. Trust me.”
My best friend sounds tired, but there’s a ring of truth to his words. Even if Lily wants nothing to do with me, I can’t just let her slip through my fingers. I can bring her a bunch of flowers and show her I still care.
I nod. “Yeah. I’ll go in the morning.”
And I do. The next morning, I wake up in my brand-new bed (including bed frame) and inhale a cup of coffee and some toast before jumping in my car and heading for the hospital. I consider calling Lily’s phone to make sure it’s okay for me to come visit, but decide against it. What’s that old saying about it being better to ask forgiveness than permission? I can’t afford to have her tell me not to come.
I need to see her. I need to make sure she’s okay. I need to touch her skin and hold her hand and tell her that I’m there for her, even if she doesn’t want me to be. If she pushes me away, I’ll leave. But if there’s a slim, infinitesimal chance that she actually wants me to be in that room beside her, and I can’t afford to let it pass me by.
I stop in at the local florist to grab a bunch of flowers, then tear out onto the freeway like my life depends on it. When I arrive at the hospital, visiting hours are just starting. The nurse at the front desk gives me Lily’s room number and directions around the huge, sprawling hospital complex. By the time I make it to the oncology ward, sweat is dripping down my spine and soaking the underarms of my shirt. It’s not warm in the hospital, but my nerves are wound so tight my movements are jerky and uncoordinated.
I’m regretting the impulsivity of coming here. I’m thinking maybe Lily will throw me out, and that will actually feel much, much worse than I felt last night.
But just as I’m about to lose my nerve, I see her room number. The hospital has plain beige hallways with clean tile floors, and the fluorescent light in front of Lily’s door is flickering gently. I pause, glancing at the name written next to her door, and blow out a breath.
Even if she throws me out, at least I’m here. At least she knows I’m not afraid to come to the hospital to stay with her. Her illness doesn’t scare me.
I knock gently, then push the door open. My chest seizes.
Lily looks like hell, and she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. She’s pale, lying back on her bed dressed in a hospital gown with an IV sticking out from the back of her hand. Her dark hair is splayed over the pillow, her face free of makeup. Something tight unknots in my chest.
I can’t believe I actually considered turning away. My feet carry me to the bedside, and Lily’s eyes widen.
“Rudy.” She grips the blankets and tugs them up slightly before patting her hair.
