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Phil scoffs. “I’m a paying customer.”
“I don’t give a shit.” Candice looks great and terrible and furious, and I’ve never loved her more. She lifts the tray a little higher, and Phil has the decency to look concerned.
He pushes himself up to his feet. “I tried, Iliana. You’re throwing away a good life. You and the baby could have it all, but you’d rather stay in this shithole. Don’t come crawling to me when it falls apart, and keep my name off the birth certificate.” He gives me one last venomous stare, lifts his gaze to Candice, then stalks out the door.
I feel…odd. A bit detached.
I’m relieved, of course. Relieved that he’s walking away and he’s not going to grab me by the hair and drag me across the world to a foreign country. But I’m also deeply sad. My kid won’t have a daddy. Not to mention those hateful words swirling in my head, reminding me of all the things I’m most afraid of. What if he’s right? What if I’m really not fit to be a mother? My body isn’t exactly doing what it’s supposed to do right now. I’m laughably unprepared for whatever comes next.
Candice’s shoes crunch on all the broken mugs. Face red, hands trembling, she turns to me. “You want me to kill him? Jen knows a pig farmer who can get rid of the body.”
Blinking at my big sister, I let her words sink in. Then Fiona ambles over with a broom and leans it against the wall before putting her hands on her hips. “I’ll help. Grant has all kinds of tools in his workshop we can use to chop him up into itty bitty little pieces. He showed me how to use the table saw just last week. It’s kind of fun.”
They look at me, completely serious, and I feel my lips twitch. Then the three of us burst into inappropriate, raucous laughter, and all the tension in me drains away.
Nothing says friendship like homicidal intentions.
My tears soak into a scratchy napkin as I finally wipe my eyes, laughter fading into little leftover giggles. I lean back against my armchair with a sigh. My body feels broken and exhausted, but somehow lighter.
I wouldn’t trade this sisterhood for anything. Least of all a flight to Italy with Sir Charming Fuckwad.
Then the café door flies open so hard it hits the wall and leaves a dent. Rudy strides in, face set with grim determination. He stares straight at me, completely ignoring Candice and Fiona and the rest of the patrons in the room.
He stalks toward me like a predator and I freeze in my seat. Gone is the happy, charismatic Rudy who doesn’t have a care in the world. The man before me is dangerous. Determined. I blink, and he’s in front of me. Then, without a word, he wraps his hand around the back of my neck, tilts my head up toward him, and crushes his lips to mine.
CHAPTER 36
Lily
Rudy is kissing me.
He’s kissing me hard. It’s less of a kiss and more of a claiming. He shoves his tongue into my mouth and grips the back of my neck so hard I’m trapped against him. Stupidly, my body heats up and lust floods my veins. I just had a mastectomy days ago, and now my body wants sex? What the hell is wrong with me?
Rudy breaks the kiss but doesn’t move back very far. We’re both panting hard, and his hand is shoving into the hair at the back of my head. I like the way it feels. I like the way he smells. I like having him here, a strong man whose shirt I can curl my fingers into when things get hard. He leans his forehead against mine and closes his eyes.
It feels good. So, so good to have him close.
“Lily,” he sighs, as if my name is his salvation.
“Rudy.” My breaths are still sharp, and there’s a twinge in my armpit from sitting forward like this. I should take another painkiller before things get worse, but I still feel vaguely uncomfortable taking medication while pregnant. I feel like I’ve put my baby through enough. The poor thing will have to go through chemo with me, and I’ll never even get the chance to breastfeed. Baby’s not getting the easiest start to life. I shift again, and another slice of pain lashes from my armpit to my sternum.
When I try to extricate myself from Rudy’s hold, he tightens his fingers in my hair. “I don’t care about the baby,” he says fiercely. “I want you, Lily. You’re my woman. The only woman. I want you beside me.”
He slides his other hand over my stomach, and suddenly I’m mad.
What is up with these men just coming over here and thinking they have a right to me? To my body? Suddenly, it doesn’t feel so good to have his arm wrapped around the back of my head. It feels stifling. It feels like another offer of being shoved into an apartment in Milan behind a locked door, away from everyone and everything I know. It feels like someone shoehorning their way into my life when it should be my fucking decision.
I slap his hand away and pull my head back, glaring.
Rudy straightens, his thick brows tugging together. “What?”
“Did you hit your head?” I ask.
“What?”
“In what world is it acceptable to march in here and kiss me like that? After the way you acted at the hospital like some caveman who was angry that someone dared talk to his woman? After you walked away from me like my baby was a parasite?” Anger whips through me. Not only at Rudy, but at this whole situation. I don’t have time for this! I want to laugh about burying bodies in pig pens, not deal with stupid men and their stupid egos.
“No, Lily—”
