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“Baby, no. That’s not what I meant at all. There is nothing you could ever do that’d make me not want to be with you. Well, other than say you aren’t attracted to me. And then I’d probably just pine for you from afar. And end up married to Mrs. Fluffybottom.”
“Mrs. Fluffybottom?” she asked in a choked voice.
“My neighbor’s cat, remember? If you turn me out, I’ll find myself married to Mrs. Fluffybottom within a month.”
“Will you have to take her name?”
“Unfortunately, yes. I will be Mr. Fluffybottom.”
She grinned. But it quickly faded, a sad look filling her face.
“Hurting yourself isn’t allowed. Understand?”
A look of guilt filled her face, making him feel ill. Did she hurt herself? Fuck. How had he not seen that?
“Baby girl,” he whispered hoarsely. “Have you been hurting yourself?”
She shook her head. “No. No. I don’t do that.”
Relief flooded him.
“Not anymore.”
“Anymore?”
“I struggled a lot . . . after what . . . after what Matthew did to me.”
He clenched his hands into fists. “That fucking bastard.”
She wrapped her arms tightly around her legs again. Shit. She was closing off from him and he didn’t like it. He wanted her to feel safe with telling him anything.
So maybe stop growling over everything she tells you and listen.
“You used to hurt yourself?” he asked.
“How is it that you can get me to tell you things about myself that I’ve never told anyone?” She gave him a bewildered look.
“No one? No one knows about this?” How had she been living with this, coping with it all on her own? How did Sav not know about this?
“Well . . . other than the therapist I saw for a while,” she whispered. “She helped me to get control of my emotions. To stop hurting myself as a way of finding release, of easing all the stress.”
Fuck. God, he hated everything that she’d been through.
“I’m damaged, Hack. Broken.”
“You are not fucking damaged. And what if your broken bits fit in with mine? What if what you need is exactly what I want to give? I can be a bulldozer when I want something. I like to be in control.”
“Have you told Mrs. Fluffybottom about this side of you?”
“Good Lord, no. I don’t want to scare her off before the wedding.”
She gave him a faint smile and something inside him eased.
He wanted to press her for more information about how she used to hurt herself, but she had to be exhausted and he didn’t want to push her too much.
No way did he want to risk her running.
“I wanted you to kiss me,” she whispered. “I liked it. It wasn’t the kiss that was the problem. It was my head.”
