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“Are you well?” was Lio’s first response. He leaned forward, his expression full of concern. “If it’s because of a women’s illness, you could confide in one of our female healers.”
Cassia shook her head. “That illness I had when I was fourteen made me barren. My courses had only come a couple of times, and after I was sick, they stopped. Good riddance.”
He pulled his chair closer to her and took her hand. “It wouldn’t hurt to talk with one of Orthros’s healers, in any case. It might be reassuring for them to verify what the Tenebran healers told you at the time.”
“Oh, I madeverysure the Tenebran healers never knew a thing about it.”
“You weren’t even given proper attention from female Tenebran healers? After you nearly died?”
“Can you imagine how hard it would have been to bribe them from then on, to make sure they never told anyone? It was trouble enough to make believably stained rags every month so my handmaidens never caught on. I’m so glad Perita and I trust each other now, and I don’t have to go through that nonsense with her anymore.”
He held her hand tighter, brushing his thumb ever so gently over her knuckles. “I’m aware that barrenness carries a terrible stigma in Tenebra, but I confess, I never imagined you would have to go through so much to hide it.”
“If anyone ever found out, they would hold the secret over my head to get what they wanted from me—or go straight to the king with the information. Then he would know I’m no use for childbearing. It might have been to my favor, since I couldn’t bear sons with claims to his throne, which would make me less of a threat to him. He might have gone on bartering me to suitors, never letting on they wouldn’t get heirs from me. But there was always the risk it would decrease my usefulness to the point that he didn’t consider me worth the bother anymore. I decided it was better for him not to know. It’s always better for the king not to know.”
Lio pulled her close, his embrace sure and tender, but when he spoke, she was shocked at how much anger she heard in his voice. “First, they tell you to be ashamed of something healthy that your body does. Then they tell you to be ashamed if it doesn’t do it. Then you have to live in fear because a lot of men want to know, for their own ends, what your body is doing. Shame uponthem. That is repulsive, even for Tenebra.”
She had never thought of it that way. She had never meant to tell Lio all these details about bloody rags that weren’t hers and the king’s obsession with the vessel labeled Cassia, in which bastard claimants to the throne might grow. She had never realized how sick and angry it had always made her, until now.
“They have no notion of sanctity.” He cupped her face in one hand, his expression stricken. “I hope it’s all right with you that I asked.”
“Thank you. For asking. For being concerned aboutme.” The emphasis landed on the last word without her intending it.
He paused again, clearly considering his words. Careful Lio. Gentle Lio. “I’m so sorry if it causes you personal disappointment. Apart from everything you’ve endured because of how others would react, I’m sorry if you’re unhappy with what your illness took from you.”
She shook her head. “For my part, I never minded. It’s a relief that I don’t have to go through that every month or fear the dangers of childbirth.” She pushed aside the other specters. Refused to think any more of the king ending her life because of the life that could not be gotten out of her. They were talking about her, not others. They were in Orthros, where the only misfortune that could come of this was disappointment, which she had never felt.
“So,” Lio said slowly, “bearing children of your own isn’t…something you would look forward to?”
She tilted her head, looking at him. “Does it bother you that you can’t?”
“Actually, I never gave it a thought.”
“Even though you’re bloodborn?”
Now it was Lio who shrugged. “Father enjoyed doting on my mother while she was pregnant with me. I suppose that would be a wonderful experience. It’s not something Hesperines expect or imagine for ourselves, though. We look forward to Solacing children like Zoe.”
“That’s worth looking forward to.”
She liked the new light in his eyes. The significance in his gaze. They way he took a breath, as if to ask something else.
“Speaking of Zoe,” he said, “she’ll be here for breakfast any minute, I suspect.”
Cassia smiled. “Time to lift the veil.”
She was looking forward to that something else, whenever he decided it was time to ask it.
THE GRAVEST DANGER IN ORTHROS
Lio paused at thefoot of one empty sickbed. Its sturdy iron frame and cotton bedclothes made it identical to every other that lined this wing of the Healing Sanctuary. The tall, narrow windows on either side of this bed were the same, and the moons touched it with the same light. But Lio would never forget awakening here when Queen Soteira had pulled him back from the brink of fatal Craving, after he had collapsed in front of the Firstblood Circle during his proposal of the Solstice Summit.
Now he and his Grace were accompanying the Tenebran embassy on Queen Soteira’s tour of her Healing Sanctuary.
Cassia slowed and drew nearer. “This bed has some particular significance, Ambassador?”
“It is empty. A powerful testament to victory.” Lio smiled and moved onward, a step behind Queen Soteira. “Thank you, Annassa, for personally welcoming us to your Healing Sanctuary tonight.”
“I have looked forward to showing our neighbors what we do here.” She beckoned to the mortals behind her.
