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“No. Yes. It was always my last resort. I thought I would have to go through with it when the Dexion arrived at Solorum. I believed it was the only way to prevent war, until you convened the Solstice Summit. As soon as we were together again, I hoped I wouldn’t have to do it. That we could find another way. But you must see, Lio. There is no other way. This is what I must do.”
“No, I don’t see.” He surged to his feet. “This cannot be. Orthros needs you. You belong here, with us.”
“Yes. I do.” She could scarcely bear to look upon the shock and pain on his face. She had known she would hurt him. But now that she had dealt the blow, it was so much worse than she had dreaded.
“You cannot do this to yourself—to me—to all of us!” he cried.
“I don’t know how I will do it. I don’t know how I’ll bear to give you up a second time. But I must find a way. I wish it were not so, I wish there were anyone else to take up this burden, but there is not. I am all we have. I am the only one who can save us from the king.”
“Is that what this is about? The king? Of course. It is too much to ask of you, that you leave him in power, after all he has done.”
“No. He has no place between us,” she told Lio, as she had one night in Tenebra. That time he had refused her blood, she had felt so angry and humiliated.
This was infinitely worse. She was the one making him angry.
But she was also right, as she had not been then. She must hold fast to her conviction, to her conscience.
“Perhaps you think I want revenge,” she said. “If that were the case, I would not go back. You know there was a time when all I cared about was surviving the king. What better way to have the last laugh than to survive him forever?”
“There was a time when you wanted revenge.”
“And I banished that specter. You know I did, for if I had not, you would never have taken your first drink from me. As I asked you that night, I shall ask you now. Is revenge what you hear crying out in my thoughts?”
His mind descended over hers, a beautiful darkness. Her resolve trembled. She could lie beneath that darkness forever. He had promised her she could.
“No, there is no revenge in you.” His voice brought his mind deeper into hers. “Only want. You are so full of want. What I once told you was true. Tenebra will never be enough for you.”
She could feast on his words, his voice, his presence in her mind and never run short. Everything she wanted was right here, standing across from her in the courtyard, within arm’s reach, within her mind.
If she let herself want him, if she let herself drink him down another moment, it would be too late.
“I cannot have what I want!” she shouted.
He withdrew as if the sun had risen and banished the night. She stood burning a few paces away from him.
He looked away, his breathing too quick for a Hesperine. “Going back to Tenebra will give you one thing you want. Justice for Solia.”
“I would rather show my gratitude to the Hesperines who honored her than punish the king. I would rather keep my sister alive by”—Cassia’s voice wavered—“by being a sister to Zoe the way Solia taught me. That’s enough for me. I’m not such a brave and selfless avenger after all. No victory could be sweeter than seizing for myself all the king has sought to deny me—freedom, safety. Love. My anger is not strong enough to withstand happiness.”
“All I have sought to do since you came to me is make you happy.”
“You have. You have given me everything, and it breaks my heart to repay you so. But I cannot in good conscience remain, knowing I have the power to stop what is to come. This conscience of mine is still a young creature, but she is strong. I find her as pragmatic as the lack of conscience that once ruled me. I know bringing down the king will not bring Solia back. But it will save many others from him—Hesperines and Tenebrans.”
“How, Cassia? Lucis is the most formidable king Tenebra has seen in generations! How can you dethrone him?”
She did not blame Lio for wondering. He did not doubt her, not really. He never had. He simply wanted to believe it could not happen. He wanted impossible odds to mean this was not their future.
“Poison,” she said. “A little of the right plant in his fire. Smothersweet smells just like maple. He will breathe it. He will be found dead at his desk. And it will all be over.”
“You will be standing in that fire.”
“Not for long. I don’t mind that I must depart quickly. I actually don’t want to see it happen.” She swallowed. “But I’m not sorry. Not even about the guards who will be there. I know their abuses too well.”
“You’re going to assassinate him. By your own hand.”
“I am not Skleros! I take no pleasure in it! But even a Hesperine errant must sometimes resort to ending a life to protect the innocent.”
“What about Caelum? He is the king’s heir.”
