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“Don’t you see?” She wrapped her arms around her knees and hugged them to her, as if she could tighten her hold on the void inside her. “It’s too much like what the Collector does.”
“What?” He slid close to her. “Cassia, no. Nothing about you bears any resemblance to that monster.”
“It doesn’t make you feel…violated?”
He uncurled her fingers and unwound her arms from around her knees. She should resist. But she couldn’t. Lio had always been able to undo her. Before she knew it, he pulled her onto his lap with ease, despite how weak his arm was.
“Let me explain it to you this way,” he said. “If I imagined, in my wildest dreams, that my magic could be your surrogate for the entire Lustra, that you could channel me instead… I would search every corner of Akanthia to find that spell. I would uncover any forbidden ritual, make any blood sacrifice—yes, warp any rule of magic to save your life.”
“I don’t want you to have to do any of that. You’ve gone through so much for me. Why couldn’t my magic be easy for you?”
“Easy?” he scoffed. “You held me after Martyrs’ Pass, when I was mad with Craving and afraid I had murdered hundreds of mortals with my magic. You waited for me, suffering at the Rezayal’s hands, while I let my power run amok in the Maaqul. My magic was never easy. How could I shy away from anything yours demands?”
“But you cannot do this only for my sake.”
“I want it, Cassia. For me.”
As long as she had known him, he had never sounded possessive. Until now.
“I’m jealous,” he said, his fangs lengthening at the confession. “I know I’m a fool to be jealous of the very laws of nature. But I am your Grace. I feel I should be everything you need.”
“Lio, I will always need you. You kept my spirit alive long before my body was in any danger.”
“I hate knowing that you need the Lustra—that you need Tenebra or anyone in it.”
“That’s what was bothering you,” she realized. “When we were searching for the letting site, and you took me to the willow copse.”
“I didn’t want you to know how frustrated I was. How unfair my feelings were.”
“You could have told me,” she said.
“It would only have made you feel guiltier about everything we’re going through for your magic.”
She shook her head. “It makes me feel better. I thought you were unhappy with our progress toward my Gifting. Now I understand the real reason for your disappointment.”
“That night was evidence that you couldn’t find what you need in Orthros. In me.” He let out a sigh, as if a weight had lifted from him. “But you can.”
“Only you,” she said. “I don’t seem able to draw from anyone else. The elders said it’s a rare magical result of my channeling ability and our Grace bond. I’ve ‘fastened’ onto your aura.”
“Then it won’t stop?” he asked, not with horror, but with hope.
“We’re not even sure if it’s possible to stop it,” she admitted. “I tried to persuade Annassa Soteira to attempt it, but the entire family refused.”
His good arm tightened around her. “Why would you ask her to do that? It could have hurt you.” He hesitated. “Unless…this isn’t what you want. You never had a choice, either, about needing me like this.”
“Of course this is what I want. I want it too much. This bottomless hunger inside of me…I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”
“Don’t be afraid.” He kissed her hair.
She tried to calm her instinctive panic. But he knew. He could sense how fragile she felt, as if she might be cut from mortal existence and blown away on a breath.
“You are the cord tying me to this life,” she said.
She didn’t realize she was shaking until he began to stroke her back.
“I’ve faced death before,” she hissed. “I shouldn’t be such a coward.”
“You are the bravest person I know. But you have no cause to fear death, my Grace. I will never let him take you.”
