AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Just imagine me with a big belly.” I laughed, holding my hand against my mouth. “I literally can’t.”
“I can. I don’t want to just imagine it, I want to see it over and over again, each day that I wake up and go to bed.”
“How many times?”
“However many times your body will allow it. When you’re ready to dead all these seeds, then I’ll head up the road to sterilize them.”
“Seriously? You’d do that?”
“I don’t have a pull-out game when it comes to you, Aeir. I learned that on day one. Of course, I’d do that. Lawe has been trying to convince us all because he’s gotten the procedure.”
“I’m happy because it should be illegal to produce more of him.”
“I think he knows that shit, too.”
Already, I felt better about the secret I thought I was keeping over the last few days. If possible, I wouldn’t have said a single word to Malachi until the baby was born. Not because I didn’t want him to know but because I was afraid to hear the words come from my own mouth.
Motherhood had always been a goal of mine, and Aussie coming into my life made it happen. Our route to one another was unconventional but it felt like I’d birthed her myself. My fear that the baby I was carrying would somehow interfere with the bond we were continuously building caused hoarded fear I wasn’t ready to speak about. Malachi had a way of getting things out of me, and now that he had, I was in a better space already.
“Worry me,” I requested, seeing the somber look in his dark eyes.
“We can talk about it in the morning. Now isn’t the best time.”
He leaned over to turn off the lamp at the bedside, but I pulled him back down onto the pillow beside me.
“There’s no better time than now. What’s on your heart?”
He paused, taking a moment to sit up in bed. He didn’t find comfort in his position, so he tossed his legs over and got out instead. I watched him pace the floor, twirling a patch of hair in his head as he tried gathering the words he needed to express.
“Malachi, you’re scaring me, baby. What’s wrong?”
“The nightmares. The nightmares you keep having.”
A lump formed in my throat. Instantly, I regretted not waiting for the conversation we were headed toward.
“Let’s talk about it in the morning.”
“Aeir,” he called out. “Tell me about them.”
“Malachi, come back to bed,” I insisted, patting the space next to me.
“Aeir. This is very important to me, baby. Tell me what you’ve been seeing.”
“Malachi, please. Let’s just talk about this—”
“I’ve been hitting brick walls for two years, Aeir. But, I’m almost certain that every answer I’ve been looking for is sitting right between your ears. Tell me what the fuck you’ve been seeing.”
His words were like knives. He’d never spoken to me in such a tone. With furrowed brows, I contemplated revealing what I’d been seeing, but I felt like Malachi had suffered enough. I couldn’t bring him more pain.
“Do you fucking hear me, Aeir?”
“Malachi, I understand you’re frustrated, but that’s no way to talk to me. And, keep your voice down before you wake Aussie.”
“Does it look like I care about any of that shit right now? I don’t. You’re holding onto vital information and you won’t give it to me. Someone ripped my world straight from my hands, murdered my wife in front of our daughter, and you don’t have the decency to tell me what you’ve been seeing, knowing that it could very well solve this thing.”
The man that I’d worked so hard to heal revealed himself again. Veins protruded from his neck as he banged his fist on the dresser across the room. My heart broke slowly as I watched him transform into the man I’d met two months ago. The beaten and battered version of himself. The one we’d worked to overcome. Right before my eyes, he switched up on me, leaving me with a face full of tears and an irreparable heart.
“Malachi. You deserve peace,” I cried. “And the answers I have for you won’t bring you peace of any kind. It’ll destroy you.”
