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“She deserves justice, Aeir. She deserves life. She deserves to be here. She deserves to be tucking Aussie in every night. She deserves to be carrying my child right now. She deserves to still be happy and carefree. She deserves to be right here, right now, in this room with me. But she’s not. You’re here.
“The woman with all the fucking answers. The woman who knows every-fucking-thing. The woman who will never be Anna because, if she were even scratching the surface, she’d know that Anna doesn’t keep secrets from Malachi. Malachi doesn’t keep secrets from Anna. We’re a fucking team. But you wouldn’t know that because you aren’t her!”
Sliding out of the bed, I scurried across the floor and into the closet where Malachi had transferred my entire wardrobe. I grabbed the suitcase that I’d wheeled onto his property and unzipped it. Piece by piece, I began tossing my clothes inside. There was no way I’d sit and listen to his discord and disrespect.
I had been nothing but good to Malachi and he was giving me his behind to kiss in the process. At no point did I think he’d take my gentleness for weakness, but it seemed as if he had. It was either that or he was too blinded by the pain to realize he was hurting me. Either way, I wasn’t going to stick around for the beating. Not this time.
“Aeir, what have you seen?” he gritted, standing over me.
“Do you hear yourself, Malachi? Do you hear yourself asking me to break your heart all over again, huh?”
“Tell me what the fuck I want to know. I don’t care about a broken heart. My shit been broken. It was never fixed.”
Taken aback by his confession, I scoffed. He was unveiling parts of him I wished he’d kept hiding. With every word he spoke, it was like peeling back another layer of an onion. My eyes and my heart burned from the bitterness he spewed.
I zipped my suitcase and stood to my feet. If he wanted it, then I’d give it to him. If it made him feel better or helped his healing journey, then it was his to have. At this point, my mind was made up and I didn’t care much about what happened in his world after I walked out of the door. He’d made his bed. It was time to lie in it.
“You’re right, Malachi. I’d never be Anna. I’d never try to be Anna. In fact, in the last moments of her life, I don’t even think Anna wanted to be Anna. I’ve felt everything she felt. I’ve heard every thought that crossed her mind. And, I’ve replayed the scene in my head a million times and realize Anna could still be here.
“She does deserve to be here, putting Aussie to bed and carrying your child. But, she’s not. She’s not because you didn’t do the necessary work to secure her place on earth, knowing the type of lifestyle you lived. Why do you think Anna was in a rush to get away from it all? Hmmm? Because she knew she’d be the casualty, not you.
“Let me explain something to you about Anna, the woman I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know over the last two and a half months. Not the woman you knew, but the woman she was in her lonely hours and during those sessions in the bathroom when she cried, hugging herself because she could smell death in the air. The woman that was braver than anyone I know. I’m not offended by you telling me I’ll never be her, because you’re right. I’ve never wanted to, either, not knowing that before her death, she left a trail of breadcrumbs for you and you didn’t pick up even one.
“But, back to the woman she was, Malachi, since you’re so adamant you knew her so well and you loved her so much. Malachi, you loved Anna to death—emotionally, figuratively, and literally. All three. You left her vulnerable, exposed like a sitting duck, too worried about protecting her instead of teaching her how to protect herself. She never owned a gun, had access to one, knew how to use a knife to end a life, or knew how to truly defend herself. A hundred guns in the house, Malachi, and she didn’t know how to shoot one.
“As she laid on the floor, in her blood, she was staring down the barrel of a .45 that you had holstered right underneath the bed. When she leaped from bed to protect Aussie from the intruder, there was a Glock 19 underneath the pillow. In your side table, next to your side of the bed, there was another gun. Anna knew this but she also knew none of them would help.
“She couldn’t even locate the safety you kept all of them in from the moment Aussie made it into this world. You didn’t even give her a chance to live, Malachi.You didn’t. Her fate was written when she saw someone in her bedroom that didn’t belong. At that moment, they were all useless. You were useless. Your protection was useless. All that was left in Anna was the fight she simply didn’t have in her. Anna wasn’t a fighter. She was a lover.
“But in your line of work, no one wins with love. It’s war. She was never prepared for battle because you didn’t prepare her. She never knew how to protect herself and she never knew she’d ever have to protect herself from the manyouintroduced her to as a kid and made her love as much as she did the rest of your family.
“The man that you call your best friend. The man that shot her down like a dog in front of her child and told her just how her death would forceyouto resign and hand him the business while doing so. The man that you proved right by doing just that. Fuck you, Malachi!”
Profanity was no longer part of my vocabulary, but I meant that from the bottom of my heart. I didn’t wait for a response because I knew I wouldn’t get one. The weight I’d just sat on his chest had deemed him speechless and that was how he’d remain for the time being.
I put my suitcase in the back of my truck and hurried to the front. Once my seatbelt was fastened, I took off like a thief in the night. Unfortunately, it was how I felt. I’d stolen Malachi’s sanity and he’d stolen my happiness. I wasn’t vengeful, but to some degree, we were even.
SEVENTEEN
“Is Mommy gone forever again?”Aussie’s voice startled me.
I was still stuck in the same place Aeir had left me in. I’d poked at her until she exploded. The consequences were deadly, but I’d gotten all the answers I was looking for. They weren’t merely close to what I’d anticipated, but they made everything about Anna’s murder begin to make sense.
The lack of evidence, no forced entry, wiping of the cameras, blind spot knowledge, and everything else. It all made sense. I’d been saying since the first day of trying to crack the case that someone had spent a good deal of time casing my home and plotting Anna’s murder. I imagined they staked out several times and watched us like hawks, waiting for their turn to strike.
It was only partially true. They didn’t have to stake out. They were invited into my home, around my wife, and around our child. They sat at our dinner table, tucked Aussie in some nights, and told me they loved me every chance they got.
“Aussie, go put on your shoes, baby. You’re going to Pop Pop’s house for the night, okay? Daddy has something he has to handle.”
“Is Mommy okay?”
“Yes. Mommy is fine. She went out for some fresh air. She’ll be back, okay?”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m positive. Shoes, Aussie.” I snapped, needing her to focus on the task at hand and not Aeir’s absence.
It cut me deep to see the tears that welled in her eyes. She was so afraid of losing Aeir like she’d already loss Anna. It was detrimental to her mental and emotional health that I made things right between us, but for now, there were more pressing issues. We both needed time to cool down.
