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The days tofollow had recurring themes, feeling like one long day that never ended. I was up by six, before the sun rose each morning, and in bed by nine. Building furniture, painting, and taping posters to the walls were among the few tasks I completed a time or two during the day. Slowly, but surely, my little educational space was coming together.
Because I’d made it to another Friday and the weekend was upon me, I decided to take the next two days off. Monday, work would resume. For now, I was resting my bones and my brain. Reliving a life I never actually lived was exasperating, causing extreme fatigue and restlessness. I woke up as bright and early as I did each morning because my body wouldn’t allow me to sleep in. There were too many thoughts, too many questions. The lack of contact with Malachi made it a bit difficult to find the answers I needed.
The roaring thunder woke me from an evening slumber. Checking the time on my phone, I noted it was going on ten. I rolled out of bed with three things on my mind. Food. Website inspiration. And,him. It didn’t matter how many times I tried to pray away the longing that was deep down inside of me, God hadn’t heard me.
I couldn’t hide it. I couldn’t run from it. I couldn’t ignore it. I couldn’t suppress it. With every fiber in my being, I craved his presence, his voice, his touch, his time, and his attention. But, the space he’d requested was more important than what I was feeling. I wasn’t sure how long it would last, but I was abiding until the barriers were broken and my heart expanded with intentions of rehabilitating his.
The nature station that satisfied my appetite for tranquility had nothing on the sound of rain outside of my window. I peeped through the closed blinds to properly evaluate the precipitation level. Constant drops lined the sky and fell all at once, over and over.
My cheeks drew upward into a smile. All the inspiration I’d been searching for to begin the layout of my brand board was right outside of my window. I rushed into the kitchen where I’d left my laptop. It was still on the table, waiting for my return. I tucked it under my arm and against my chest, ready to feel the cool breeze rain almost always brought along with it. After over a week in the scorching heat, I was certain the garden and the field plants were loving the drink of water.
When I stepped outside, onto the porch, a chill crept up my spine. The scene was absolutely breathtaking. Random waves of light made everything visible for a brief second before it all darkened again. But, even in the dark, there was beauty.
The hammock on the porch had been on my mind since the day I arrived. The high temperatures made it difficult to consider time inside, collecting my thoughts, catching up on sleep, or reading one of the three new novels I’d purchased from the store because I knew discomfort would be an issue.
Tonight, however, was the perfect night. I sauntered across the slab until I reached the hammock, preparing myself for the possibility of falling flat on my face if I didn’t position myself right. However, the sound of a bottle colliding with the concrete beneath me commanded a halt in my steps. I searched the darkness for evidence of human life and quickly found it.
“Mal… Malachi,” I corrected myself, not wanting to cause any harm to the broken man that laid on the bench before me.
He tossed his legs over, sitting straight up before reclaiming the bottle he’d just put down. He took a long swig and lowered it between his legs while resting his elbows on his knees. Weariness penetrated my heart and my head at the same time, leaving me wondering how I could help or if I could help at all.
“Malachi,” I sighed. “Are you okay?”
“You barge into my world, knowing shit you shouldn’t, making me feel shit I haven’t in two years, looking and feeling just like her, and then telling me she’s part of you somehow and some fucked-up way, yet the most important thing in the world to her, you can’t tell me shit about? No, I’m not okay. My wife was murdered, Aeir. Murdered in our home, in front of our daughter who was only six months old and I have yet to find the person responsible. Yet, here you are, claiming some shit that’s just impossible.”
His revelation left me dumbfounded.
“Murdered?”
“Yes. Murdered. If any of the shit you’ve been saying is true, then you’d know that. But, you don’t, which further proves my point. Stop playing games with me, Aeir. I’m not that nigga. Aight? I’m not him.”
“I didn’t know.”
“Well, now you do!”
“They… the visions and the dreams, they are so quick and it seems they’re in order. Parts of Anna’s life with you… my life with you… it’s happening as it happened with you guys. Murder?” I whimpered, not believing what I’d heard and sick over the fact that it had to be Anna’s fate. “I-I talked about this in the last one. I was headed to dinner with you. My belly was big and round and I was happy to sit down with you, spend any amount of time with you. I stood in the mirror, sharing with our daughter that— that I’m scared every time you walk out of the door because I’m unsure when it’ll be the last time I see you again. It’s like—”
“You knew,” he finished my sentence.
“It’s almost as if I knew, but I wasn’t certain. I talked to the baby about fate and life and death and… oh my God, murdered?”
Malachi stood to his feet, ready to leave me where I stood, but I couldn’t accept that. When his long frame brushed past me, my fingers found his. He was weak to the touch, making it easy for me to pull him back in my direction. I could hear the thudding of my heart over the loud thunder as our bodies touched, chest to chest. The height difference made it almost impossible because he was nearly a foot taller than me, but my breasts brushed against the bottom of his chest, nipples hardening on contact.
“Wait, Mal. Please don’t go.”
He clutched the sides of my face, leaning in close enough for me to smell the liquor on his skin and see the grief in his tar-colored eyes. He was a lost soul, but he was my lost soul. I’d spend the rest of my days rescuing it, rescuing him. It was my duty and the reason I’d been given life again.
Anna had been kind enough to lend me her soul, knowing Malachi would need it to survive. Her selflessness was commendable and I loved her for it. Although I didn’t know her, physically, our connection was much deeper than the surface. We’d become one that night. She’d left me with a responsibility and I refused to let her down, refused to let Malachi down. He deserved more time with Anna. He deserved a lifetime with me.
“Why must you keep breaking my heart, Aeir? Hmm? Why you gotta do that to me? Can’t you see I’ve suffered enough?”
His tears matched the cadence of the rain. He was a broken man but I craved those parts of him too. I wanted those parts and I wanted to super glue them back together with my love, loyalty, patience, and honesty. It was the least I could do knowing just how gorgeous his heart was beneath it all.
“Malachi, I was not sent here to burden you. I was sent to stop the pain, to heal and to have and to hold you.”
“Aeir,” he hissed.
