AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Really? Because, Malachi, I couldn’t tell. I almost thought it was your job to crush me every chance I gave you to do so, and my God, have I given you a good amount of them.”
“I’m sorry that I’ve misused you. I’ve been a fucked-up individual for two years. I’m just a hurt person, hurting people. I’m ready to change that. Talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind. Tell me how I can do better, be better. I’m here and I’m listening, Aeir.”
Sighing, I shook my head from side to side, looking at the handsome creature before me. His Black skin and hair like wool were features of the king he was, but he’d been reduced to a peasant. That wasn’t a status he’d been given, but one he’d taken and tried being content with.
However, anyone could see he was more than that. He was royalty. Until he believed it himself, he’d remain stuck in the space he’d put himself in. No one could help him out but himself. I didn’t mind tossing him a lifeline to assist.
“You’re an Indian giver, Malachi. You’re selfish in your hunt for fleeting happiness, exhilaration, bliss… And, once you reach your pinnacle, you take it all back. Then you run and hide from me. You leave me with all these feelings and all these emotions and all these thoughts.
“You make me feel like some insane woman… like an impostor… like I’m nothing more than a few minutes of pleasure… like—It doesn’t matter, Malachi.” I waved it off, feeling my emotions begin to spill. I wanted to remain strong but the words just kept coming.
“Nothing matters. You’ve made it clear to me I’m here for a job and I’m going to do that job very well. You’re not wrong. I just want you to stop messing with my head in the process.
“It’s not okay. I’m not okay. I have all this pent-up frustration because I’m being forced to suppress what I truly feel because the man I have these feelings for hates me. He hates the sound of my voice. He hates the color of my skin. He hates the features of my face. He hates my gentleness. He hates my calm. He hates even the sight of me… the thought of me.
“Because I remind him of someone that has become as precious to me as she was to him. So, no, Malachi. I can’t accept the flowers. I can’t let this moment bring me peace for a little while until you decide that it’s time to repossess that peace and start hating me again.”
“I don’t hate you, Aeir.”
I scoffed, finding his words difficult to believe.
“I don’t.”
I had no words. Gnawing on my bottom lip, I broke flesh and freed blood while trying to figure out why it felt like Malachi was stomping on my heart when all he’d done is brought me flowers. He’d shown up like I’d begged him to in the note I’d just written a few minutes ago. Yet, the satisfaction I’d expected, I didn’t find.
He placed the flowers on the table and invaded my personal space. His face brushed against mine, reminding me he was real. When his lips landed, I shuddered. I didn’t want him to make me feel good for a minute. I wanted him to make me feel good forever. If this was just another one of those nights he’d leave me lonely after it was all said and done, I didn’t want to participate.
“Malachi, no,” I murmured, pressing against his chest with my palm.
“Aeir, what’s the matter?”
“You, Malachi. You’re the problem.”
A problem I wanted so bad, every day and every night, but not at my heart’s expense.
“You don’t get to do this to me again.”
“Do what?”
“This. You don’t get to barge in, fill me to the brim, feed me just enough of you to make yourself feel better and then pull back.”
“That’s not what I’m on,” he shared. “That’s not why I’m here.”
“Then why are you here?”
“Because I’ve been a very selfish, very foolish man and I want to make it right, make it better.”
Finding his words hard to believe, I turned toward the stove to occupy myself. He reached around me and turned off everything that was on top, cooking. I whipped around, fear and frustration driving my emotions. Fear that this was just another time he’d leave me stranded, praying he’d offer more of himself to me. Frustration for myself and my feelings and my aching heart.
“Malachi,” I whimpered, removing the straps from my body and allowing my dress to fall to the floor.
“Is this it? Is this why you’re here? Because, if so, then here it is. You can have as much of it as you want. I won’t deny you. I can’t deny you. But, please understand that when you’re done, you’re satisfied, and you’re walking out of that door, you’re leaving me a bit more flawed, a bit more confused, a bit more lost.”
I watched as he leaned down, picking up my dress and covering my body up. One by one, he placed the straps on my shoulders and stood in front of me, unmoving, gazing at me as the skin of my cheeks became drenched in salty, unwanted tears.
“I’m not here for that, Aeir. I’m here for this.” Pointing at my chest, he continued. “I know I’ve shown you nothing but strife and have been displaying distasteful behavior over the course of your stay. I gave you every reason to run and run far. But, you didn’t.
“Admittedly, if you had, I would’ve strapped up my sneakers and chased your ass all the way to Channing if I had to. See, the thing is, I’ve only loved one woman my entire life and I’d made her a promise to only love her until the day I died. The thing with that is, she died before my life ended and then you came along. I’m a man of my word. If I say it, it’s bond.
